Approaching 90 days: a proud update

[livey12]

I’m approaching 90 days since my last pill. It feels like it’s been much longer than 90 days. This is the longest I’ve gone without relapsing and it feels amazing.

Like so many others I was so scared to quit and how it would impact my life. I would ask myself how do you move forward after 4 years of around the clock addiction and abuse ?? 

I was fortunate enough to move to a new state which severed me from my prescribing doc. Cutting off the supplier is what I should’ve had the courage to do years ago but better late than never. 

I knew the first few weeks would be hell with the fatigue and hunger. I slept and ate a ton. Lots of caffeine. 

Moving into a new environment really helped me mentally. All those negative emotions attached to our old place and gone.  We also moved to a warmer climate zone, so I’m getting tons of vitamin D that I was lacking before. 

I have gained about 20lbs. My metabolism is shot. But I’m not letting that discourage me as I feel physically and mentally stronger everyday from my practices. I’m back in the gym regularly doing HIIT, strength training, and hot yoga. The yoga really helped in the beginning phases of detoxing and it definitely helps ground me when I’m feeling weak. 

I have suffered lots of brain fog. I find myself having a hard time trying to explain things. I’m hoping this will subside. 

I’m so proud of where I’m at. This time last year I had a total breakdown and never thought I’d be capable of living a normal life. I’d be lying if I don’t think about taking it again or wishing I had it. But Most days I don’t think about it and that’s incredible to me. I used to count them and tally how many I took each day. 

I used to read stories on here and think I’d never make it past 30 days clean. I’d never be able to accomplish fitness goals without my pills. I’d never be able to work full time without my pills. I’d never be able to have social experiences without my pills. I’ve had some of the most wonderful social interactions since quitting. I am so much more pleasant and reliable without them.

My best advice is give yourself time to heal  do not rush it, BE KIND TO YOURSELF, and cut off your supplier. 

 

I look forward to getting to know the BEST me. 

God Bless 

[LILTEX41]

Way to go!!!!   Sounds like you're in a great place emotionally right now.  Hope it just keeps getting easier for you day by day.  

[KimR]

Awesome. Keep up the positive thoughts and never forget the bad times on those horrible pills.