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About KimR

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    Akron, Ohio
  1. CBD oil

    I've heard wonderful things. Thinking about trying it.
  2. 1 month clean, having issues. Input appreciated!

    Weed + Adderall = worst panic attack of my entire life. I feel you on that one. As far as withdrawal symptoms, it's hard to say when they'll disappear. But every day it gets better. Never go back.
  3. I finally need to tell my doctor

    Yes. Finally cut myself off from the source. Feels so incredible.
  4. A dozen at least. I was on it for many years.
  5. Relapse

    Sorry this happened. It's something most of us have dealt with. Praying for you. Come out of it stronger!
  6. I finally need to tell my doctor

    I officlally did it today and I feel GREAT!!! Two weeks clean and proud of it.
  7. Been Adderall free for two weeks. I've been slowly tapering down for months. Called my doctor today and cut it off completely for good since my refill day was coming. For the first time, in a long time, I truly have hope.
  8. I have lost my mind

    Sounds awful. I'll say a prayer for you, friend. My fear of bugs and spiders has increased as well. It sucks having long hair because my hair will sometimes graze my arm and I think there's one crawling up and I freak. Luckily, I love in Ohio. I can't imagine how much worse Florida would be. Adderall sucks.
  9. I finally need to tell my doctor

    Thanks for clearing that up. Quitting Adderall is hard enough, I'll just be honest with him. Honesty is part of recovery, maybe the most important.
  10. I finally need to tell my doctor

    This past year I told him "I want off Adderall. It's just making me feel a little crazy. So... let's not ever prescribe this to me again. It's making me a different person and it's not good." Then I went a month and a half without it. That was until I got a crazy idea that maybe Focalin would work for me, it wasn't an amphetamine after all. So I called and asked for some. I took it for awhile and all it did was make me want Adderall back. He really is a good, decent guy. I just think he has a million patients and forgets stuff. When I told him Focalin was just not cutting it after all, he agreed to put me back on Adderall. Maybe I'll just call his office and say I no longer want to be a patient? And then maybe tell my family doctor to put in my records never to prescribe stimulants.
  11. So, as some of you know, quitting has been hard for me. I recently quit, yet again, but, out of nowhere, I called my doctor for a refill. The problem is they needed to do a pill count. This has never happened! Maybe something new they're doing in Ohio? As far as they knew I had never stopped taking it, so I panicked. I went in and told them I had lost them and was too embarrassed to call and tell them. My doctor said he couldn't refill my dose, and that he'd contact me soon. It was at that moment I knew the jig was up. My immediate response was devastation. But as the days went by, I came to terms with it and actually found peace, or dare I say, found happiness. I was no longer a slave to this awful drug. I didn't hear from him until Monday. When I finally did I was expecting a "I can no longer be your doctor" or at least "You will not be getting any more Adderall". Instead, he said my prescription was ready for me. SAY WHAT? I'm ashamed to say, I was there the next morning the second they opened. He did tell me he would do random pill counts for now on. So now i realize I need to tell him. But I'm afraid. What do I say? I'm 100% dependent and addicted and I need to tell him. I've never had a problem with any other drug. Painkillers, benzos, etc. I have always taken as prescribed. I never ever smoke pot (okay, twice in college). I don't even drink. I want to make it so he will never give me a stimulant again, but I don't want to be put on some "list" that I'm an addict and then not be able to get painkillers when I get my wisdom tooth out. I also have children. I can't risk getting in any kind of trouble. I keep picturing CPS showing up and taking them after coming clean about my addiction. At least my fear of that and the law have made it so that I would never EVER find Adderall illegally, and I know myself well enough that I'll never see another psychiatrist again. Please. Tell me what to do.
  12. Two Years!

    Such an amazing story. Thanks for sharing.
  13. Long timer checking in.

    Good to hear.
  14. 3 months clean

    Congratulations! Three months is such a huge milestone. It only gets better.
  15. I like what you say about not even letting Adderall into your mind. You're doing good so far. Keep up the good work.