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About SeanW

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 03/16/1993

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Southern U.S.
  • Interests
    Musician, tennis, diet and health

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  1. Three years.

    Well said! I feel anhedonia everyday.. and I don’t want to be discouraging but three years down and I still feel it. EVERYDAY lol it’s really tough but I just tell myself that it’s part of life and most people feel that way regularly. People who never tried adderall feel it the same way they just can’t relate it to an adderall high like we can, making it seem and feel way worse than it is.
  2. Three years.

    Hi all, haven’t been active on here much at all the past year. Anyone who remembers or knows me, today is three years clean of adderall. Words can’t describe what it’s like looking back to the state I was in, only my imagination remembers and it can’t be put in words how much different I am and life is now. I do drink alcohol a few times a week but I’m so much healthier now than back then. I can remember particular days and nights early in recovery and how I felt and it is a 100 times better now. I’d like to say I have an amazing drive and motivating purpose to my life but sadly I work to live and do the best I can. I contribute my lose of true purpose and finding that calling to adderall days but I have hope I’ll eventually find it. Anyways, I’m playing music, working as a quality control inspector at a concrete company and not a crack head anymore. Lol to all the new people check out my old post, I wish you the best. To my old friends and fellow posters, I wish you the best and cherish the support and relationships formed over this forum. all the best Cameron
  3. I wish you the best. You can do it. I’m sure you’ve faced very hard things in life and come out on top. This is the same. You can win against this like you have against other hard times or hardships. Good luck.
  4. I can't believe it's me...

    I “hope” you do. Although it’s not a matter of hope. It’s in your hands. You have the choice. Make the right one. You won’t regret it in the long run but you make the wrong one and you will most definitely regret it. I wish you the best. You don’t deserve to go through making the wrong one. Please give it a break and keep us updated on here. I was on here five times a day at least for my first six months to a year. Much love Cameron
  5. I can't believe it's me...

    That’s how addiction works. It’s just our chemical imbalances brain doing anything it can for relief and it will do whatever it takes to get us to do something. This is why we have a conscience to battle things like this when we know it’s not right for us. It’s our only hope to not be robots stuck in a cycle of addiction.
  6. I can't believe it's me...

    Didn’t have the time to read all the replies but read your initial post. Nothing we can do can get you to that point we all reach where we just can’t take it anymore and I mean REALLY can’t take it. It feels like you’ve got that point many time before, but not to the extent that you will one day, if you keep taking it. I’ve put this chapter so far behind me now it’s hard to remember exactly where I’m at but I think around two years and 7 months off it. You can do it just take it a day at a time and before you know it, it’ll be a memory of a time that was absolute hell but taught you a lot. When I look back at my days addicted/bingeing it makes me sick. My body immediately is like “god no” don’t ever do that again. You’ll get there. The only thing that concerns me is how stable and good your life is outside of the addiction. I had to lose my love of 7 years, fail out of my last semester of chemical engineering “a degree that would of changed my life” lose my job, lose touch with reality and go to psychological rehab. I hope and pray you don’t have to lose all that you have going to finally stop. Because you can stop now and keep it or keep on with the addictive cycle and i guarantee you’ll start to lose what you’ve got. I don’t mean to be discouraging or curt or upset you. Please get off of it.
  7. Update from a long timer

    Good to hear from you friend. Yeah man I’m still jamming. Actually getting better and actually able to play with a band sometimes. I make it a priority to play in front of people at least once a week.
  8. Update from a long timer

    Thanks for the feed back and support. I’ll consider AA. I was in a group therapy that was every Wednesday but it didn’t really help me stay off alcohol. AA being everyday might be better.
  9. Update from a long timer

    Yeah man I’m down to try and kick it together. For the last week I’ve cut back on my drinking by a few drinks. If I cold turkey I’d be in really back shape so I’m just going to go with tapering down for the next month or two.
  10. Update from a long timer

    Yeah I’m definitely a functioning alcoholic.. I don’t I can kick it, but just like adderall I feel I need a few weeks to just lay around and detox..
  11. Hey guys, long time since I’ve been in here to support and receive support. I’ve been clean off adderall now 2.5 years. I moved to town with nothing, was homeless for the first two months. Worked 80 hours a week till I got my place. Now im just working and drinking. I’ve traded my adderall addiction for alcohol unfortunately.. I just don’t know how to have any enjoyment or happiness unless I’m drinking and shooting the shit with people. Otherwise I’m miserable. At least I’ve avoid adderall.. anyways.. I have a guilty conscience for my the situation I’m on as far as alcohol. I pay all my bills, got money for food and fun it I’m not pure. I drink heavily everyday. Idk why I’m even on here or sharing this but anyways. Alll you warriors still fighting through the early days, keep on keeping on. I still workout and eat well and started training mma. I just drink every evening.. anyways, for those who remember me, I miss you guys and for those who don’t I love you guys. Stay strong.
  12. Just got to pay the piper man. It’s going to be rough for a little while but to resume the speed is just prolonging and also extending the period of lows you’re going to have to inevitably face. Just ride it out man. Do what you can. We a lot of times feel so down and drained but if someone had a gun to your head or you were running from a pack of lions ready to eat you a live you’d find some pretty profound energy and motivation. What I’m saying is it’s not like we’re incapable or it’s impossible it’s just hard. Real hard. But we have to fight through it, be strong, be a fucking beast and own this shit. You’re not the first or last to be in that position and many people have bodied that shit, fought through, and made it so you can too. Good luck man, and much love. Cameron
  13. Wow. The real miracle is you found this site this soon!! Stop the speed! Save yourself! Lol but seriously.. read around and take it into deep consideration to stop.
  14. 2 years

    Yeah me too man. I remember our early days on here. Nice to hear from you and see your still doing well.
  15. Man. Life ain’t easy, it’s not meant to be. Adderall makes it seem that way. But it’s not man. Cut the shit and drugs. You’re young man. I was the same way man but I didn’t find adderall till later about 22. Listen man.. just quit the shit. I know how tempting it is.. you can accomplish that state of consciousness through therapy and daily mindful practice and I’m not saying you have to do it now but just don’t keep using man. Please don’t keep using. Your so young. You’ve seen the dark side. You’ve seen the “easy” route but it’s not easy it’s an illusion it’s actually a downward spiral to hell. Go to therapy do whatever you gotta do to stay clean and function. I love you. I don’t know you but I do and you’ll find people that love you for who you are as adhd air headed artistic slow whatever you think you are. Your worth love and the person adderall makes you is not who you’re meant to be. You can realize this now or five, ten years from now when you’re in a lot worse shape. Anyway, wish you the best. Much love.