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About OnSomething

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    Not Adderall
  1. Coping Mechanisms

    Hello, I’m 0 days clean. I have said so many times I want to quit, even making promises to God, just to not. Tomorrow I am quitting. I told my best friend of how I take 100+mg a day and drink 1-2 bottles of wine every night. She is helping me come up w/ a plan. I am calling my doctor tomorrow. I have been trauma to trauma throughout my life, and since starting counseling recently realized how severe my neglect was growing up. Adderall was a coping tool that worked well at first. I am scared to give up the only thing I know, even though it’s killing me. My question is this- how do you find new coping tools? How do you know if they’re working or healthy? What’s worked for you?
  2. Half dangerous advice. True, suicidal thoughts may be temporary for some (still traumatic), but for many depression is something that will need continuing treatments to feel the healthiest they can. It was so brave of you to go to the hospital! I could see why you’d be scared to try another chemical, but I’d really encourage you to try under your doctors care. Sometimes people need to try different things to work. I was lucky and my first one, Celexa, saved my life. I still have to do other work to help lessen my depression & ADD, but I would not be able to without it. As for school and work, even if you bomb your classes this term, you will have the strength to re-do anything after things fall in place mentally for you. Rooting for you.
  3. You have all helped me

    I’m glad you made an account! Finding your place in a understanding community will only help your recovery. It gives me hope to hear progresses, so keep posting!
  4. Cunning Little Pill

    This chemical has been in charge of me since I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid. It was therapeutic until college, where I accidentally took two and got my first high. Things fell apart rapidly, and my reality must be pretty distorted since I don’t hate the drug. So I’m choosing to quit even though I don’t feel like it. I’ve been waiting for that feeling to come, but I can feel my body shutting down. Any success stories of quitting without hitting “rock bottom”?
  5. How to work/ be in real life

    I think it depends how much you were taking. I also struggled with not remembering who I was before quitting. I don't think that's a bad thing though, you can be whoever you want and it will probably be better than a life on Adderall no matter what. Since you can't take time off I'd just recommend early bedtimes and having rewards set up for the weekends. Maybe try cutting back on drinking too for the week to help with energy in the morning! Best of luck
  6. My story living with my adderall addicted wife

    Welcome tiptoe! You seem like a very patient spouse (and probably person overall). It was very loving of you to post this. Your wife sounds like she could have a substance abuse dual diagnosis, meaning both an addiction and a mental health disorder (such as depression or anxiety). I'm not sure if she'd be open to therapy but it could be a marriage (and life) saver. Anyway, I wish you the best & please continue to post on here whenever you need!
  7. Shifting Teeth?!

    Yes!! 7 months into my deep addiction I not only had 2 gaps in my teeth I never had before. My gum line also receded, which my dentist said it's typical for people under stress, but I know that stress is directly due to my addiction. Daydreambeliever is right though, teeth can be fixed.
  8. Things better than a high?

    I am struggling with missing the Adderall euphoria (which went away early in my addiction anyway). I would love to hear what little things in your life bring you so much joy now that you're clean that you wouldn't want to go back to it? I think it'd be super motivating for me to hear different areas of life that will get better clean
  9. Triggers

    I could definitely see how Adderall could be a major tool in modeling. I pole dance so the appetite loss was just another reason for me to love Adderall, I had absolute control over everything I ate. Sorry I don't have much advice on how to handle that trigger, it might just take time and some planning. Keep me updated on everything!
  10. If I were to summarize my 2-3 year addy addiction, this would be it. It was the first thing I noticed during my first high and what I chased for years- it made me "empathetic". It made me lose my emotions and helped me overcome my major depression for a short while by just not caring and using that energy to love myself instead. It's very hard to explain but I know what you mean. It was obviously a fake feeling and a fantasy for me, but it felt good while it lasted. Anyway, I'm also coming up on my 3 months sober so it's interesting to see someone in a similar place as me. Keep pushing on
  11. 3 months clean

    Hey guys! I'm entering month 3 of being clean and I realize this is probably already answered somewhere, but what things in your life improved for you in month 3 & 4? I can't exactly remember what normal feels like and I would love something to look forward to during this next month or two.
  12. Doctor appointment today

    Yes! They aren't the same but similar enough to where I'd say you made the right decision. I'm guessing your doctor doesn't know you're recovering? Maybe you should tell him/her. Also, there are so many ways to lose weight and working out and eating healthier foods will help you so much more in your recovery than that drug would.
  13. 4.5 YEARS of chasing my tail

    Welcome back! Honestly, I saw so much of my old self when I was reading this. We are all similar in so many ways, the only variants really being how much and how long. I took 6-10 20mg Adderall IR a day for 3 years, give or take. I have been sober coming up on 2 months and I truly gave up on the thought of becoming sober a long time ago. For me, it took drastic changes (moving schools out of state, etc). I feel like it's helped me be more comfortable with rewiring my brain because it's all new territory, and I really think that's the only way I could have gotten sober but of course that's an extreme example and there are so many life changes you can make that can help you recover. If I have any advice it would be to keep coming onto this website, even if you continue using. You mentioned you're in an okay spot w/ your job to start detoxing, so I would. You might not be in that spot forever. You might think you're doing okay in your workplace but lets be real, you're high everyday. It's noticeable. It will catchup. You should stop while you can because I promise you your addiction will get worse. Start researching what detoxes are like and just start. Just do it, even if you relapse. Good luck
  14. Addict Mentaltiy

    @livey12 Congrats on your 6 mo! I feel like the physical side effects were a huge contributing factor to me wanting to quit as well. Journaling is a good idea, I was always too high and OCD-like to write in one so it will feel good to be able to sit down and try now. Best of luck in your recovery, we're here for you!
  15. Addict Mentaltiy

    I'm back to the beginning of my recovery (day 8 I believe) as I have relapsed recently. My brain feels so off. I know it will get better with time but I feel as if I cannot trust my thoughts right now as I'm craving amphetamines so much & it is taking all of my strength to keep saying no. I was using heavy amounts but I'd love advice from anyone, no matter how much or little you used, how do you recognize an addict-type of thought and get into a sober mentality? Why do I only remember the "positive" times I've had with amphetamines when I crave it and forget how it wrecked my life? What do you do to help?