Today 1 year off Adderall after using for 17 yrs.

[Kimber]

Whew.  I can't believe it has been a year ago today that I tore up my last Adderall prescription.  

Physically I feel 100% better.  Mentally I still feel "mushy" ...

17 years is a long, long, long time and it really probably became more a part of me than I cared to admit or could possibly understand.

Feel like I'm treading water right now.  Not really going anywhere and trying to not beat myself up about not going anywhere, because that is when I think "if i just could have a couple of Adderall to get me going again"...  I'm ready for those thoughts to be GONE!  And ready for something, I just don't know what.

 

[SleepyStupid]

this is really strong work- congratulations!!!! (:

i can't even imagine what 17 years of adderall does to a person's fundamental human qualities, but here's what i do know: "treading water" is a very normal feeling! most people at one point or another in their lives have the same experience. the difference for us is that we have this additional experience of a pill that seems to magically fix the water treading. as we've all come to realize, it's not true, but it's impossible to un-know how amphetamines feel.

that also means that all of the things and activities you've truly enjoyed while on adderall may not feel as satisfying anymore (for a while anyway). i definitely struggled around the 1 year mark with trying to get back into things i enjoyed, but it would always be a constant comparison to how it felt on adderall. but that's okay- maybe that thing you're ready for is to try something completely new, an experience that adderall has never touched or influenced?

[William]

Congratulations Kimber! Making the first year is something to be proud of. 

Dont be discouraged if you feel “mushy” and like your “treading water”. Your brain is providing you with some accurate feedback, something you weren’t getting while on adderall. 

It might be that now isn’t the best time for “what’s next”- rather, what is... It’s a common response to want to “take control” after being driven for so long every which way by adderall. Just remind yourself you took control when you stopped taking the drug! 

Now you need time to reconstruct a life that is driven by well thought out decisions. Not random amphetamine fueled actions. And this takes a long time. 

So when you feel pestered by thoughts of “what’s next” remember that could likely be a leftover thought process from your adderall days.  

Start small. Make meaningful decisions daily that you can associate with a larger goal. Just don’t rush the process.

I was on Adderall for nearly 15 years at a high dose. I’ve been off now for 2 1/2 years. Things do get better! Be kind to yourself, God bless

[Kimber]

Thank you both for your responses.  Really helps to hear from people who have been there, family and friends try, but just don't get it.

It is hard because it truly is like starting ALL over in life... my likes and dislikes are more gray and not as sharp, and some times just blah.

Started working out for the first time in 20 years...something I certainly wouldn't have thought possible  a year ago when I decided to quit.

 

[Zerokewl]

congrats! 

[Danquit]

Congratulations! One year is huuuuge and it only gets better from here. At one year I was still struggling but I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Year two will be easier but still pretty rough in terms of motivation and some depression. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and getting more days under your belt. Try to enjoy the good days because they will start to be sprinkled in there. The trick is to recognize when you’re having a good day and remember that feeling for when the bad days come.

You don’t need Adderall to have a good life, you know that now. Congrats again on a major milestone.