Doctors won't listen to my concerns

[jpez]

I'm new to the forums section but have been reading the quttingadderall site on and off for years (every time I think about quitting). I relate to everyone else's story about how it makes you feel and how hard it is to give it up. I have been on Adderall for 10 years, since sophomore year of college.

Here is the problem I run into every time I try to quit... 

Every time I get the courage to tell my doctor that I have a problem with adderall, they tell me it's not the Adderall. This has happened with THREE different doctors (2 this year)! I am always really frustrated leaving the appointment because I finally work up the courage to tell my doctor and start thinking about what my Adderall free life could look like, I have hope things will now change, only to leave with another script in hand. I have tried quitting on my own numerous times but always fail which is why I want the doctor involved, so they are aware and will help me taper off or just stop prescribing it to me.

I start by telling them that I am over-using Adderall (I run out 1.5-2 weeks early). That should be the first red flag. I tell them that I am extremely depressed and have withdrawn myself from everything, feel like a zombie, etc...The doctor said that's not Adderal, it's depression. Well it's obvious I have depression but I believe it's caused by the Adderall or at the very least, the Adderall is making it worse. Earlier this year the doctor gave me Welbutrin. It didn't help, I'm still abusing Adderall. 

I told my therapist about how I'm always disappointed and don't know what to do since the doctors won't listen so she recommended I see a psychiatrist. I was excited thinking maybe this guy can really help me since he's not just a PCP, this is his specialty. I went to him last night for the first time. I told him my story and I started with "Adderall ruined my life." After listening to my story he said "well sounds like you definitely have ADHD." Even if I do, what about all negative side-effects I mentioned that's literally ruining my life?? Haven't felt anything in years, no relationships, etc.. These are more important things than being able to focus. He said Adderall doesn't cause those things. I came out and told him that I read THIS forum so I know I'm not the only one that feels this way on Adderall and it's a problem.

So what did he recommend? Switching me from Adderall to Vyvanse. Isn't that like telling an alcoholic, I know you have a problem when you drink beer, but here try vodka instead. You would never do that. 

I am extremely frustrated and feel hopeless that I will ever get off this stuff. I thought doctors were supposed to care if you're abusing a drug, not tell you that's not the problem, and write you another script. How do doctors not realize how much of a problem Adderall can be for some people?

Has anyone else had this problem when telling your doctor your concerns? I don't know what else to do. I just want to talk to someone who understands what I'm going through...

[quit-once]

Welcome to the forums.  It sounds like you are sincere in your desire to kick the adderall habit.  It is in the doctors' best interest to keep you prescribed to a drug - it's good for their business.  Wow,  you have seen three doctors and not one will unprescribe you the pills.  That last suggestion of moving from adderall to Vyvanse just amazes me.  Your beer to vodka analogy is spot on.   You are also spot on about the depression.  I tool it thinking it helped alleviate my depression while it really made it even worse.  Depression is the #1 challenge with adderall recovery, so you need to be prepared for that.  Look into some dopamine-retaining supplements or even antidepressant drugs like wellbutrin.  

Here is my suggestion:  find a doctor who specializes in addiction medicine.  It is one of the newest medical specialties and I don't know how easy it would be to find a doctor like that.  But if you can, he may be able to give you some tools to rid yourself of the addiction.  Another suggestion I have is to be more forceful with the doctors prescribing you the adderall and insist that taking speed isn't working for you anymore.  

Ten years is a long time to take speed.  I took the shit for nine years and then quit eight years ago.  Life is certainly much better on the other side of your addiction.

[jpez]

Thank you for the response and suggestions! You're absolutely right that it's in the doctor's best interest to keep me prescribed. There is no other explanation for them not listening to my concerns. It really changes my view on the medical industry. I am definitely going to look into doctors who specialize in addiction medicine, though. That might be exactly what I need (but I'm not getting my hopes up anymore.)

The depression is what I'm really concerned about. I live alone (besides my dogs), I don't have many friends because I pushed everyone away. Going through adderall recovery without a support system really scares me especially since I'm already extremely depressed.

It's so scary to imagine life without Adderall, even if you know it's what's best for you, so it's really encouraging to hear that you took it for as long as I have and have been off of it for eight years. If it wasn't for this website, and people like you, I would feel like I was crazy. It good to know that i'm not alone and there is hope to overcome this addiction. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. 

[SleepyStupid]

even though i've heard it so many times, it's still shocking to me how negligent doctors can be about Adderall. i'm sorry you're going through this - it must be really tough and disillusioning.

an addiction specialist would be great, but in the absence of one i agree with @quit-once on being more forceful with them. your problem isn't depression - it's Adderall. you are coming in today to discuss a plan to discontinue Adderall because it is no longer effective in managing your ADHD. you do not want to switch to another medication - you will be managing your ADHD through behavioral therapy. when worded this way, it would be much harder for a doctor to dismiss your needs.

[jpez]

I was thinking maybe I wasn't explaining myself the right way or maybe I was giving the doctors too much credit thinking they would help and/or care. I like the way you worded that and will definitely use that next month when I go back in. 

I started taking the Vyvanse he prescribed this week and it's the exact same as Adderall. It blows my mind that was his suggestion in response to me admitting I abuse Adderall. I have been trying to limit myself from overtaking it though.

I don't even know how much Adderall I use to take every day. I would take a 30 XR in the morning and then a 15 mg IR when I got to work around 9 am. Then I would just take halves of the 30s or 15s throughout the day whenever I felt like it (when I started feeling tired, stressed, bored, happy, sad). I still have some Adderall left and have only taken 1 15 mg pill, in addition, to the Vyvanse for the past 3 days. It might not sound like a win to some people but that's a lot better than what I was doing before and I think it's a start in the right direction. At least until I go back into the doctor next month and demand we discuss a plan to discontinue Adderall/Vyvanse or get into an addiction specialist. 

I appreciate the responses. They have helped keep me in the mindset of quitting even though I was ready to just give up after my appointment earlier this week. This is a great community. 

[Kamtivy]

You were absolutely in the right place doing what you did. I wouldn't want that issue either. My flake issue was due to her not communicating the depth of her concern.