Rebuilding your Life after Adderall

[dpaul6626]

Here's my story: I have been taking adderall for the last 7 years... And I am now 5 days off of adderall. Needless to say, I am starting to realize the lost years this drug has caused me.

I began taking adderall when I was 23 years old. At the time, I was just getting done with my second year of college and I was on my way towards becoming a teacher in the next couple years. I had it all figured out. I was working in skilled trades, attending school full-time, working out 5 days a week, dating different women all the time, and I was the life of the party. Then everything changed....

I had a friend that took adderall and one day I tried it and immediately I was hooked. I felt so focused and ambitious, I felt like I could take on the world. Adderall completely turned my life upside down. All of the sudden, I was speedy all the time, I talked really fast and one of my friends said I should get into sales and become a mortgage banker. "Why the hell not?", I thought. So I quit school and decided that I was going to make money now and enter the world of banking in the middle of the economic bubble. I thought I could do anything. My family and friends wondered why I had given up my dream of wanting to teach kids and coach football in the summer. Little did they know about my new friend I had called "Adderall". It literally changed my dreams and made me think about the "now" and not the "future". Needless to say, I ended up being very successful financially from the banking industry. The adderall numbed my emotions and speeded me out so much that I could talk on the phone selling all day long as I chugged my red bull's. I was living a lie... But I didn't realize it at the time.

Life was good then. Then just as the economic bubble burst, so did my life. I looked around me and I had ruined relationships from my past because I was so focused on myself and my career that anything else was a distraction. I no longer worked out 5 days a week... In fact I no longer worked out at all. I would come home after work from taking adderall and drinking caffeine all day, that I would have to chug beers all night to take the edge off and also to help me sleep. I no longer dated anymore either... I would put everything into my job, that when I would get home I had nothing left to give to anyone else... Including myself. I was living a lie. On the outside, I owned a nice house and drove a nice car. I looked successful but I was dying inside. The adderall had taken over my life and all I did was try to hide it from everyone.

Which brings me to today... I am now 30 years old and I resigned from my job back in november. I decided that I needed to make a change and that If I didn't do it now.. Then I don't know when I will be able too. Why did I resign from my job? I never would have been in that career in the first place if It wasn't for my friend adderall. There is no way I would of been able to still do sales and sit at a desk all day if I didn't take adderall. I was caught in a vicious cycle and I knew I had to leave my job to help be able to quit this cycle.

I continued to take adderall even after I left my job. Why? Because I knew I wanted to quit, but there was always another reason to wait until next week. I was enrolling back in college to finish my degree in teaching and I was also sending out resume's to look for a new job that was low stress and not in sales. I needed the adderall to focus on putting my resume together. I needed the adderall to fill out my financial aid info and schedule my new classes. The moral of the story is there is always another reason to not quit and it is never going to be the exact right time. You just have to do it and get on with your new life. The longer you put it off, the longer it delays you from beginning your new life.

So here I am... Day 5 off of adderall. I am worked in skilled trades again and attending college. Isn't this the exact place I was 7 years ago? Yup. I am starting over and rebuilding my life without adderall. I had to sell my fancy house and car and I am ok with that because I am getting back on the path that I was supposed to be on all along.

[dpaul6626]

Mike,

Please reply to this when you get the chance.

Thanks.

[CosmiKitten]

Congratulations on your week without adderall! I have 44 days now, and I can definitely say there are some rough times ahead.

My best advice from my quitting experience so far is to focus on all the ways your life has improved since you quit (getting personality back, not feeling like a crazy person, a genuine sense of happiness rather than a fake one), rather than anything that you are losing (productivity, a sense of direction in life), and if you have urges to go back to it, come back to this site and read the post you have written about what Adderall did to you. It is easy to forget all the terrible stuff it does when you are longing for its stupid fake benefits.

Since I am early in quitting, I try to remind myself that the most important thing right now, is that I DON'T TAKE ADDERALL. Yes, my life is falling apart around me, I have lost many personal items, I now despise my job, I can't get motivated to do anything, and I am depressed a lot. But I am not taking adderall, and I think that, for me, being ADD-ridden and Adderall-free is on a higher tier than being a Productivity Zombie on Adderall. A much higher tier. We work to live, not live to work!!

Best of luck to you, please keep us updated on how you are doing!!