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Adderall- My dark passenger


Addgirl426

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So adderall has played a significant role in my quest for perfection for the past 5 years. Initially, i used it to help me study for my actuarial exams, then i started using it to maintain a low weight and then i needed it to get through the day. Apart from adderall, i also abused caffeine while totally neglecting my health. Five years later, not only am i suffering from severe mal-nutrition (i no longer menstruate), but also, i feel as if i have not accomplished anything significant in my life as adderall has become my center. I'm tired of being dependent on an external substance and i'm tired of the mood swings associated with adderall use. On Sunday 19th of February, i decided to no longer use adderall or caffeine. The past few days i have had major headaches and fatigue along with an increase in appetite (i also started taking iron and b12 vitamins). I was in bed for Tuesday and Wednesday and i'm back on my feet today feeling pretty optimistic(did some yoga this morning). I know that i will probably start drinking coffee again, but i'm determined to not use adderall. We shall see how strong i am since i have quite a few adderall remaining. Since i'm being forthcoming, i must admit that i'm concerned about the weight gain, but that's a whole other matter i'm struggling with. Regardless, it's time for change and i'm stepping up to the plate.

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Coffee will help you get through addie withdrawl and it really is not an evil substance. I love caffeine and I am sure I am addicted to it, but I do not believe it is harmful. Regarding your left-over pills, I suggest you make them inaccessible until you are ready to discard them. Give them to a friend for safe-keeping or lock them up. I purchased a key-safe, locked up the pills inside it, then put the keys to it in my safe deposit box. Six months later I got rid of the pills.

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I had an adderall dream about this topic last night. It went something like this:

My two addiebuddies showed up at my house and told me they were ready to quit taking adderall. They had a ziploc baggie full of pills -maybe 100 or so- and they were the real deal - the 30 mg orange ovals we called Footballs. They gave me the baggie for safe keeping. We got in a car and while we were traveling I just decided to take a pill for old times sake. I put it under my tongue while I was looking for something to swallow it with, and I vividly remember the bitter taste. Then I started to have a guilt trip knowing that ONE PILL would lead me to gobble the entire bag they entrusted me with AND resume my addiction. Here is the best part of the dream: I opened the car window and spit out that evil pill! Then I awoke at 3 AM with a good feeling and a smile, rolled over and went back to sleep.

Not sure what it all means, but it was much better that having that return-to-adderall-using nightmare!

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