ashley6 Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 I love the input and faith the people from this website have given me on my road to giving up adderall. I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar situation to mine. I'm 29 days clean. It's a bumpy road, and I never thought I'd even be here. It's been tough, but the past few days have been REALLY tough. I've been an emotional roller coaster, crying my eyes out at the smallest things. I know this is normal, but my addict mind jumps to thinking about adderall solving this, even though my logic reminds me that adderall is the reason I even got here. It's evil. I'm just looking for anyone's advice on calming my mind and dealing with the intense emotions. I want to end by saying that I know this is the best decision I've made in a long time, but I just want advice on those nagging thoughts....thank you all!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 Hi Ashley, What helped me deal in the beginning were activities that lowered my anxiety. I got a deep tissue massage every week for the first two months. The more massages you can afford to get the better. Find a massage school in your area and go to their student clinic - they usually only charge $20-25. I also did yoga classes several times per week, but if you can do a little yoga every day that's even better. Try to walk every day for 30 minutes, or some other light exercise. I found that intense exercise like running made me too tired in the beginning stages. It was a lot easier (mentally and physically) to take a brisk walk or do a leisurely hike. Listen to music, meditate, take baths - anything else that will calm you. I took lots of hot baths in the beginning. I also watched a lot of TV. All I did for the first two months was go to work, come home, watch TV, go to sleep, repeat. It sounds super lame but watching TV was really the only activity that sufficiently distracted me from the withdrawals. So, don't worry if all you feel like doing for a while is watching TV. Just go with it. Also, I don't want to scare you, but for me the second month was much worse than the first in terms of crazy emotions and withdrawal symptoms. For me days 30-75 were the most brutal. I think it's because the first month kind of felt like a relief - relief from feeling tweaked out 24/7. There was a novelty to it that wore off in the second month when the reality of living without Adderall set in to take its place. I came across this article that talks about post acute withdrawal symptoms (or 'PAWS'), basically psychological withdrawal issues that addicts suffer from, and that tend to peak around 3-6 months after quitting. I think it's quite accurate, and also helps you realize the extensive amount of time it takes to get back to normal after long term use of a powerful drug. http://digital-dharma.net/post-acute-withdrawal-syndrome-why-we-dont-get-better-immediately/ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted April 28, 2012 Report Share Posted April 28, 2012 Here's the wikipedia description of post acute withdrawal syndrome as well if you want to read more about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-acute-withdrawal_syndrome I think from your other post you mentioned that you took Xanax or klonopin as well, so you may be in for a lot of this. I find that it's helpful to read about these things, so that when I start freaking out or getting cravings I think, "Oh, it's just 'PAWS.' It will get better over time." It sort of transfers the blame outside yourself to another source - depersonalizes the withdrawal symptoms so you don't get so down on yourself. What made me relapse the first time I tried to quit was underestimating how long it would take for my mind/body to recover, and subsequently beating myself up when I thought the process wasn't going fast enough. Shifting the blame to a 'third party', so to speak, can be an effective coping mechanism. On the bright side, after four months off Adderall I have more energy than I ever had while I was on Adderall, due to the things I posted above and a healthy diet. I weigh the same as I did on Adderall too. I wake up earlier and go to bed later than I did when I was on speed - imagine that! Once you have energy again you will feel so much more confident and you can begin to work on other issues, like motivation, discipline, interests, etc. That's kind of where I'm at now. Just don't even think about those things until you have energy again, otherwise it will be too stressful because all you can think about is how tired you are all the time. It will get better! I hope this helps you somewhat. You can get through this! Cassie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Cassie, Your reply gave me a lot perspective for sure. It's good to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I was having a really hard day, and your post gave me hope. I even brought up to my substance abuse counselor your advice on looking at it as a "third party." I thought that was brilliant. She's told me about PAWS too, so I'll be researching that too. It really is a process, but I have to remember it's worth it...thank you! I'm glad you're doing well with 4 months....keep it up, girl!! -Ashley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted October 11, 2013 Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Cassie, I really like the digital Dharma site. Thank you. Jon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted November 17, 2013 Report Share Posted November 17, 2013 Agreed, you really dig up some great articles Cassie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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