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new here. my story...


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Hi everybody :) Just want to share where I'm at with my struggle I guess... Not sure how to fully use this site yet lol, and it doesnt help I'm using my phone... Needless to say can't wait til i can get to a desktop! Anyway, Ive been self-medicating with Adderall for about 3 years or so now. In the past I would take it here and there, recreationally. Then i became reliant on it in college, where I starting taking it each school day. Then i continued taking it not just for school, but at work too. Being somewhat socially awkward around new people, it made me feel confident. And as most of.you know, school was easier, more pleasant, and just an overall better experience while on it. I began relying on it for almost everything. Days i wouldnt take it i would use as my "lazy days"... But as i try to kick the habit, these lazy days are not enjoyable anymore, as lethargy kicks in. And thr days I take adderall are not enjoyable either... I have developed a case of OCD, have become irritable, and i do not feel like my old self anymore. I feel like this drug has tricked me into thinking everything was bright, breezy, and that I was confident and likeable and more social. It has tricked me into thinking I could be a good student and worker with it. But I've come to realize the only way I will reach my true potential, and be a good student and person is if I can get adderall out of my life for good. I've found this to be difficult, and I hope this site can help. My creative side has diminished... I no longer spend time doing things i used to be into... And that is something I really really want to get back. I feel that adderall has put up a blockade. The opposite of what I thought it was doing... It sucks but I have high hopes. I would love to make it through 30 days and start to feel better.

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