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Almost at 5 months


sirod9

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hi ya'll - I'm nearing the 5 month mark. I'm going to write a list of thoughts, observations, etc. below because lists are easy :)

  • It is okay to feel like crap. What kind of fucked up program got into our brain that convinced us that feeling like crap must be avoided at all costs, even the cost of our lives? I'm embracing it!
  • feeling "down" will pass. take care of yourself. re-parent yourself. embrace it. when your mind is vilifying you for being human, flip the script. repeat to yourself, "you are okay, sweetie." "get some rest" "drink a ton of water" "isn't this great, I can rest and recharge" "I love and care about your well-being"
  • When it gets so incredibly heavy that you can't do much, just feel it. Breath, breath into the pain and discomfort because it is a gift. your body and brain is trying to heal by stopping you and going in. drink a ton of water!!!
  • I"m really into drinking a lot of water. it actually helps to drink a gallon a day. it is quite magical
  • When you feel better, don't throw all your energy at anything. take it easy. learn to balance your time and energy by stopping before you are spent. it is a gift to have good days. enjoy them, but remember - the good days are made possible by the bad days - embrace that and make your bed. don't forget to drink a ton of water!!!
  • listen to the nature of your thoughts. this is where you will find the cause of your problems. listen, observe, introduce yourself to the asshole in your head. befriend that motherfucker and tell them you love them. then flip the script. breath into yourself and remind yourself that this is a process and things will improve. you are loved, worthy and capable of healing
  • quit comparing yourself to others, or comparing your situation to other situations. whatever is going on in your life is a gift, own it. observe it, read books (when ready) about love and about meditation, and about changing your circumstances. integrate little exercises into your day without expectation. one day at a time.
  • embrace the good days, and stay ready and prepared for the bad days.

I have noticed that I am hard wired very negatively. my thoughts, projections, etc. are very negative and unhealthy. I've been tracing them back to childhood and trying to learn how to reparent myself. it is deep, with layers. beginning this process was riddled with relapse and back sliding. eventually, making progress. it is all part of the process. 

may we all get to a place where we can allow our bodies and minds to be as they are and find the strength to integrate more beneficial ways of being for ourselves, our families, and our communities. May we all heal! 

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19 hours ago, sirod9 said:

hi ya'll - I'm nearing the 5 month mark. I'm going to write a list of thoughts, observations, etc. below because lists are easy :)

  • It is okay to feel like crap. What kind of fucked up program got into our brain that convinced us that feeling like crap must be avoided at all costs, even the cost of our lives? I'm embracing it!
  • feeling "down" will pass. take care of yourself. re-parent yourself. embrace it. when your mind is vilifying you for being human, flip the script. repeat to yourself, "you are okay, sweetie." "get some rest" "drink a ton of water" "isn't this great, I can rest and recharge" "I love and care about your well-being"
  • When it gets so incredibly heavy that you can't do much, just feel it. Breath, breath into the pain and discomfort because it is a gift. your body and brain is trying to heal by stopping you and going in. drink a ton of water!!!
  • I"m really into drinking a lot of water. it actually helps to drink a gallon a day. it is quite magical
  • When you feel better, don't throw all your energy at anything. take it easy. learn to balance your time and energy by stopping before you are spent. it is a gift to have good days. enjoy them, but remember - the good days are made possible by the bad days - embrace that and make your bed. don't forget to drink a ton of water!!!
  • listen to the nature of your thoughts. this is where you will find the cause of your problems. listen, observe, introduce yourself to the asshole in your head. befriend that motherfucker and tell them you love them. then flip the script. breath into yourself and remind yourself that this is a process and things will improve. you are loved, worthy and capable of healing
  • quit comparing yourself to others, or comparing your situation to other situations. whatever is going on in your life is a gift, own it. observe it, read books (when ready) about love and about meditation, and about changing your circumstances. integrate little exercises into your day without expectation. one day at a time.
  • embrace the good days, and stay ready and prepared for the bad days.

I have noticed that I am hard wired very negatively. my thoughts, projections, etc. are very negative and unhealthy. I've been tracing them back to childhood and trying to learn how to reparent myself. it is deep, with layers. beginning this process was riddled with relapse and back sliding. eventually, making progress. it is all part of the process. 

may we all get to a place where we can allow our bodies and minds to be as they are and find the strength to integrate more beneficial ways of being for ourselves, our families, and our communities. May we all heal! 

Sirod this is SO helpful.  Send more like this!  I'm on day 6 and I WILL get there this time!  This is my most favorite quote u said:

 

  • It is okay to feel like crap. What kind of fucked up program got into our brain that convinced us that feeling like crap must be avoided at all costs, even the cost of our lives? I'm embracing it!
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On 12/27/2021 at 6:13 AM, DelaneyJuliette said:

Sirod this is SO helpful.  Send more like this!  I'm on day 6 and I WILL get there this time!  This is my most favorite quote u said:

 

  • It is okay to feel like crap. What kind of fucked up program got into our brain that convinced us that feeling like crap must be avoided at all costs, even the cost of our lives? I'm embracing it!

Good job on 6 days! keep it up, it WILL get better and you will thank your self for quitting.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Day 41 now.  Had a hard night - lots of fighting with my husband.  First time I felt like using in a while.  Wanted to say fuck it.  But I didn't.  And I am so grateful.   I love this forum.   Thank you everyone for showing up and just being here.  It literally changed my life to have found this forum.  I wonder how many years ago that was?  I could probably get figure it out but I'm on my phone and that feels too difficult for my executive functioning right now hahahaha.  Love to u all!!

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3 hours ago, DelaneyJuliette said:

Day 41 now.  Had a hard night - lots of fighting with my husband.  First time I felt like using in a while.  Wanted to say fuck it.  But I didn't.  And I am so grateful.   I love this forum.   Thank you everyone for showing up and just being here.  It literally changed my life to have found this forum.  I wonder how many years ago that was?  I could probably get figure it out but I'm on my phone and that feels too difficult for my executive functioning right now hahahaha.  Love to u all!!

Don't say "fuck it," keep on trucking. Don't  allow the temporary disagreement with your partner get you down, it is only temporary. step away and bring in self love practices. Keep on going!

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My husband and I had a lot of issues when I first quit. Hang in there. It’s most likely temporary. A lot of it was me dealing with my low self esteem and withdrawal. The most important thing is you stay clean, so you never have to get back to this space. I wish we could pull the substance away and everything’s just great after that. We all know it’s not that easy.  There is a lot of healing.  You got this.. I know it’s so triggering at the same time! 

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