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sirod9

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Over the 6 years I used adderall, I had created 3 other accounts for posting. I can't recall why, but I did. So I decided to search down old content I shared under my old screen names (Maisy, BeBack17, and Geometric). It is amusing mostly. sad at the time. but funny now. 

Actually, I've been thinking about this, and I really miss the forum community during those years. I was not in a place to appreciate the level of engagement and content this forum offered back then, but I certainly would love it now. There were a ton of 1+ clean folks who were super responsive. I miss those guys. I find myself just wanting to talk, vent, give and get support. It seems things are more quiet these days.

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Yeah I’ve noticed a huge drop in interaction. I’ll try to be better about responding as well. It seemed like there were a ton of people at one point. I guess they all fully recovered? Or got back on adderall idk. I feel like a lot of new people read these posts but aren’t ready to share 

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6 hours ago, m34 said:

Yeah I’ve noticed a huge drop in interaction. I’ll try to be better about responding as well. It seemed like there were a ton of people at one point. I guess they all fully recovered? Or got back on adderall idk. I feel like a lot of new people read these posts but aren’t ready to share 

I will too! The longer I stay clean, the more confident I feel in sharing. Hopefully most of the members fully recovered. 

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I'm here you guys. I've made a few different accounts also- equally devastating to read back some of that stuff. I feel it also but I'm here.. I'm going to keep showing up on this site every day. All it takes is a handful of us. We can do that. But I definitely need the love if I'm going to make it through.  I have never help me order in my entire life. The underlying sadness just trying to taper  feels like it might kill me. Sending love.

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I understand what you are going through @GeorgiaRigby. That yr of contemplation before I quit for good was so hard. Have you quit yet?
 

Ill be here if anyone needs to message privately as well… ! @GeorgiaRigby @sirod9


 

Btw I’ve started taking St. John’s wort recently (on its own.) I’ve noticed my mood is much better. You can’t take with meds, but I wonder if I took when i first quit, if it would have helped some of the withdrawal symptoms. Just a though in case anyone hadn’t tried it yet! I’m taking the Gaia brand. 

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On 5/6/2022 at 8:24 PM, GeorgiaRigby said:

I'm here you guys. I've made a few different accounts also- equally devastating to read back some of that stuff. I feel it also but I'm here.. I'm going to keep showing up on this site every day. All it takes is a handful of us. We can do that. But I definitely need the love if I'm going to make it through.  I have never help me order in my entire life. The underlying sadness just trying to taper  feels like it might kill me. Sending love.

Keep  going, because we need more support for the community! I quit and relapsed so many times, and I have to say we all seem to experience a lot of the same behaviors we exhibited during our abuse. So we can understand!

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On 5/6/2022 at 8:24 PM, GeorgiaRigby said:

I'm here you guys. I've made a few different accounts also- equally devastating to read back some of that stuff. I feel it also but I'm here.. I'm going to keep showing up on this site every day. All it takes is a handful of us. We can do that. But I definitely need the love if I'm going to make it through.  I have never help me order in my entire life. The underlying sadness just trying to taper  feels like it might kill me. Sending love.

GeorgiaRigby - I'm on 9 months, and while I know I will experience more PAWS in the future, I feel like I've hit a new level of healing. IT GETS BETTER. this month has been noticeably better. My energy level, happiness level, all of it. I can't say I am out of the woods, but each period of restoration gives me strength to go through the periods of recovery (PAWS). Keep that in mind when you are at your worst. It is just a slow passing cloud and your body is healing. It feels awful and is not optimal, but it will pass!

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7 hours ago, sirod9 said:

GeorgiaRigby - I'm on 9 months, and while I know I will experience more PAWS in the future, I feel like I've hit a new level of healing. IT GETS BETTER. this month has been noticeably better. My energy level, happiness level, all of it. I can't say I am out of the woods, but each period of restoration gives me strength to go through the periods of recovery (PAWS). Keep that in mind when you are at your worst. It is just a slow passing cloud and your body is healing. It feels awful and is not optimal, but it will pass!

I tell myself this all the time the past week or so, that it will pass!  @DelaneyJulietteHas said this same thing to me many times.  I almost remind myself as I am feeling these waves of sadness and weirdness that it must just be my mind and brain healing and repairing itself.  Thank Goodness for you guys.  Soul family.  There is nothing like this drug and the way it has taken over life as I've known it.

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