Is this normal? Help

[Lucky]

Hello, I am new to this site and don't really know where to post this but here it goes. I've been taking adderrall on and off for a year now but in the last couple of months been taking my prescrption daily and have become very depressed and dependent. I am at the ending of my third day off of adderall andi know that being tired and hungry are normal withdrawl symptoms but I'm also having strong feelings of depersonalization. I look in the mirror and don't know who I am or who I used to be. Its scaring me and my family doesn't know how to help me. I live alone and don't have many friends due to the fact that while on adderall I've become anti social. I just want to know if this feeling of not knowing who I am, where I'm going or what I'm doing here in life is going to go away. Has anyone else lost sight of who they were while trying to quit? I also asked my doctor for an anti depressant and she gave me 10mg of Lexapro, I'm not sure whether I should start taking it because I don't want to get addicted to anything new. I already am addicted to xannax and or ambien to sleep. (I switch between the two). Any comments would be greatly appreciated as I really have no one else to turn to and am starting to feel I'm going crazy.

[sky]

yes, I think those feelings will definitely pass...

all those pills are heavy drugs, they change the chemicals in your brain, do all sorts of magic in there, some good and some not so good magic... coming off of them is going to hurt and you're going to have a lot of mind fucks- given enough time and footwork those things will all pass... think of it as kicking. kicking any drug is hard and painful and a real mind fuck.

if you look around on this site you'll see a lot of people talk about the first few days, the first week, first few weeks.... its all pretty much sucky depending on how much you were taking and for how long and your body chemistry and what you do about it all... ie. diet, exercise, etc etc.... To answer your question, yes, those feelings will pass. If its overwhelming and too much, call someone for help (if it gets to that point).... and remember that those feelings are most probably the drugs leaving your body and your mind going WTF!?

[ashley6]

Lucky,

Depersonalization, is, unfortunately, a pretty common side effect of coming off of this junk. I agree with sky, it is your body and mind saying wtf? When coming off of adderall after being on it for a long period of time, you lose sight of your true self. That's why a lot of people on this site say that they feel like amphetamines have taken their soul from them. I felt that way for sure after being on them for 7 years and abusing hardcore for 2 of those years. It's like your starting all over redefining what's normal, and in the beginning, it sucks and hurts like hell. It takes time, but you'll eventually start seeing yourself again and feeling like "normal," even if it's a new normal. It's a tough process, and 7 months later I'm still learning and growing, but it gets better. I felt like I stopped growing and my maturity was halted on adderall. It's scary, but give it time. You'll start feeling excited about getting back to your true, genuine self again. I, too, was on klonopin when I was using. I wouldn't suggest quitting it all at once. I have legitimate anxiety, and the klonopin helped me through some tough times when quitting. I think you might find without the intense anxiety adderall creates, you might be able to regulate your usage of the Xanax and Ambien, because your body won't be continually in a hyped up state. I hope this helps a little....hang in there!

[Lucky]

Thanx for the wonderful replies