I hardly have the energy to type this

[ionehitwonderi]

Adderall is the worst shit on the face of this planet. Worse than crack tweek and heroin. I can't believe it's legal, cant believe I was prescribed it & can't believe im addicted to it. It robbed me of so many things. I've aged, it took away a huge chunk of my beauty, I've gained HELLA weight from weening off from 60mg to 30mg last october, lost my sanity couple times, robbed me of my creativity (I am a recording artist), wrinkle formation, breaking out, made me hostile, bipolar tendencies, antisocial (I used to be a social butterfly), back pains, joint pains, wasted this whole year sleeping my life away... etc... I feel like it robbed me of my soul. I think the worst part is that it robbed me of my creativity... & i just got signed to a label.. so i feel like my life is basically over because I cant achieve my dreams. Sorry for being such a drama queen but I havent taken any for 2 days cuz I'm just so disgusted with it... and I hardly have the energy to type this, but I'm forcing myself. I've turned to spirituality.. meditation/yoga & folllowing several spiritual gurus on youtube, cuz thats just how hopeless I feel. I'm wondering if I should go cold turkey or slowly ween off? I've tried going cold turkey numerous times & always end up in a coma for a week... and then I eventually break and relapse cuz I feel suicidal .. my thoughts start to spiral and I think, why live if I'm just gona be a vegetable? Even on 30mg a day, I am barely functional. I can still sleep my life away on 30 mg per day... but most of the time im laying in bed, watching movies and eatng everything in sight. I'm devasted I dont know wat to do alkejrla;ewjf;waejkl;ajwef;qk2. Wonder if I should go on the master cleanse? Or organic juicing cleanse? Will that help? HELP! :C

[quit-once]

Don't even think about doing the Master Cleanse until you have had the adderall out of your body for a few weeks. I wrote a post about the master cleanse in the supplements section of this website. My advice is to continue with total abstinence. Since you have two adderall-free days behind you, you only have another day or two of total debilitation and then things will slowly start to improve. I mean, you wont be on the couch 24/7 for longer than a few days. Then do whatever it takes to function - coffee, redbull and 5hourenergy coupled with a multivitamin, fishoil and L-Tyrosine. You will also have to eat good food too and drink a ton of water. Good Luck!

[Cassie]

Meditation/yoga is good but don't do any 'cleanses' or crazy fad diets. You need to eat for energy, eat good, healthy food. I know I'm stating the obvious but your brain needs food as fuel to function. After I quit I got a juicer and started juicing in the mornings - but this was not a subsitute for food, it was an addition. High protein snacks help a lot in the beginning, like nuts and hard boiled eggs. This is going to sound weird but I like the Gerber Chicken Sticks baby food jars. It's like Vienna sausages for toddlers, but tastes way better than Vienna sausages and doesn't have any additives. Just be sensible, and realize that any supplement you take or special fad diet you do is going to be so slight compared to the way Adderall made you feel. Nothing is going to 'feel' like an amphetamine, ever again. Good luck to you

P.S. I think cold turkey is the way to go.

[ionehitwonderi]

thank you all so much... I'm terrified that I won't ever be able to regain my creativity back... :C

[sky]

you will. it's that simple. the worry and crazy stuff happening in your head is a mix of detox and plain ol addiction trying to scare you back.

you will get over it, you will recover, your life will be better (much much better) than it was, you will love yourself again, you will realize life SUCKED while in the throes of adderall abuse, you will get better and better every day. lDeal with the withdrawal, give yourself time to recover, eat a healthy diet, exercise, read and fill your mind with hope. Don't just detox and wallow in misery doubt depression, detox and actively rid you body mind and spirit of this SHIT they prescribed you. It's a multi fascited process. Set your sights on your goal and don't give up when it gets tough. Buck the fuck up, get thru it, read others posts on this site, get motivated, get on with life! Just think, you have to pay your dues for the years of abuse, but you will, life will get better, your goals will be achieved. Do it sister. Don't give in. Don't step down if you haven't taken any in 2 days. stop.

[ionehitwonderi]

i cant stop eating omg

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

I know, I was the same... still struggling to be honest. There are a lot of good recommendations on this site about managing your weight when you come off speed. In the end though it does have to come down to self control. When you have an appetite again, eating food is the only way to satisfy it. Hunger is a really hard thing to ignore once it's there.

I haven't won this battle, I still struggle with eating all the foods I'd forgotten about... pizza, doughnuts, cupcakes. Thankfully I needed to put on a couple of pounds, but I am at a healthy weight now and still can't seem to stop. It's like food has taken the place of adderall! I have to start being careful or soon none of my clothes will fit.

Any advice from others? I've had an eating disorder before so I've never really known what it's like to eat 3 solid meals a day...

[sky]

go to trader joes, get kale, cucumber, oranges, apples, banana, make a smoothy- high in fiber, vitamins, protein, probably high in sugar too but I think the fiber balances it out... better than junk though. don't eat crap. as part of the new you, research healthy eating and stop buying crap. I don't but junk food any more, cuz I eat it if I do. we're lucky here in CA cuz we have options, so eat right. too preachy? fuck it.

[Cassie]

I think you're going to have to accept that you're gonna gain weight in the beginning. I don't know anyone who hasn't. I didn't even eat much differently from Adderall to non-Adderall and I still gained ten pounds over three months. I started losing it around month 3 or 4. I wasn't skinny on Adderall though, it didn't really suppress my appetite that much. I've also never had an eating disorder or an unhealthy relationship with food so I can't really speak to those issues. Just try to eat the junk food in moderation, as a treat - if you try to deprive yourself totally you will go crazy!

[ashley6]

I ate everything I could get my hands on the first 3 months of quitting. Foods I didn't even like that much were okay by me. I didn't discriminate. But, it will balance out. I have a normal appetite now. I enjoy eating good meals. That's one thing I couldn't say for the years on adderall. I used to be a sugar fiend while drugging. The only time I wanted to eat, it was sugary crap. Just give it time. You won't be a binge eater for that long.....trust me. Hang in there!!

[Kyle_Chaos]

I wouldn't think a cleanse would help all that much..

Things will definitely get better, it's just a slow recovery process. Just eat healthy, exercise, sexercise, repeat.

[Heather67]

I was getin a visual of being at trader Joe's for my kale.....it makes perfect sense to do that , but damn I hate all that shit! When I've been off it all I do is eat and drink Pepsi. Thing is I have no desire to wash a dish after...so its like the crack house kitchen. The one thing that practically disappears though is cigarettes ...I smoke almost a pack a day...but even on day one w/ out meds and I may smoke 3 tops.

[janey73]

The master cleanse is not a bad idea. I did it many times when I wanted a "break" from adderall, before really considering quitting. It was awesome and I felt great on the cleanse as well as when I came off the cleanse. It was the best way to keep my energy up without adderall, and when you've gone over 10 days without adderall, much less without food, you feel really accomplished and have some of the confidence you need to kick the addy.