Psychedelic Medic Posted June 29, 2022 Report Share Posted June 29, 2022 31 years old. Have been prescribed 40mg for the last 12 years. With the exception of a 6 month break while living in a national park, I have been reliant on it for my entire adult life. I really have forgotten what life is like without it. I do know that I smile and laugh more without it. I know I’m kinder and more patient without it. I know I have a sense that I can smell and see nature and people with a more intimate lens without it. I plan to have a family with my girlfriend in the next few years after we marry. I have been productive and unproductive on it and my life has been on an upward trajectory in the last 5 years. Im a first responder and work 24 hour shifts, which has made me feel reluctant to quit in the past, but it’s either quit or don’t, because my job, nor my schedule will be changing anytime soon. I want to ride this momentum I feel I have, and tackle the challenge I’ve put off for so long. A lot has been said about the negatives of the drug and I’m completely aware of them. Im ready to tackle the biggest challenge I’ve faced, and find myself in that challenge. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurseAddy Posted July 6, 2022 Report Share Posted July 6, 2022 @Psychedelic Medic I can relate being an ER RN. Sadly, I think stepping away from the bedside in a stressful job might be the long term answer for me and my sobriety. Perhaps it’s something for you to consider given the amount of heaviness it places on our psyche. Good luck to you regardless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted July 8, 2022 Report Share Posted July 8, 2022 On 7/5/2022 at 10:37 PM, NurseAddy said: @Psychedelic Medic I can relate being an ER RN. Sadly, I think stepping away from the bedside in a stressful job might be the long term answer for me and my sobriety. Perhaps it’s something for you to consider given the amount of heaviness it places on our psyche. Good luck to you regardless! This is my struggle exactly right now. I have 4 kids and a super demanding job and I just can't... make myself willing right now? to make the HUGE sacrifices it would take to stop. I just look at the calendar and am filled with dread. I don't know. I've only been one month back relapsed on it but it's been so nice without the anxiety and counting down the hours til bedtime and trying to make it through one more client i can hardly tolerate. On adderall all the clients are interesting and i have ideas and i am excited to try new things in our sessions. The anxiety is gone (though i am aware it's because i am distracting myself) and also i don't have to worry about exhaustion.) I know if i get too tired i can just get more energy. It's been so relieving. I got my office cleaned for the first time in years. There were bugs. I have organized my kids summer schedule and planned a trip that i dont know how i would have done off adderall. And yet, i know that on some level i dont need it. But i'm back in that spot where i'm rationalizing that why can't i just do it sometimes like a normal person with adhd? Why is that bad? does it have to be all or nothing for me? The fact that i have been doing this cycle for so many years is already the answer to my question, but for whatever reason i am back in contemplation stage or maybe even pre-contemplation sometimes. ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurseAddy Posted July 9, 2022 Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 @DelaneyJuliette I can relate to all the above questions I too ask myself. Unfortunately, addicts don’t do normal. Our brains aren’t normal and that’s something we simply have to accept some day. It’s hard to let go of that instant gratification, but we all know too well it’s always too good to be true. Nothing easy in life is worth it. Adderall isn’t worth it. We’re human and we make relapse mistakes. Just promise yourself you’ll keep trying to find a way out of the cycle. Keep trying to quit. Keep trying to find happiness. Keep trying to find you. You’ve got this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psychedelic Medic Posted July 28, 2022 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2022 Just passed the 30 day mark. Happy to have hit this milestone. Have a lot of momentum, feeling good all around. Biggest challenge so far has been my appetite for food. Otherwise things are going well and I’m super happy to have decided to quit. Sleep has improved drastically. Sex is better. Happier in general, more sociable. My eyes are less sensitive to sunlight, probably because I’m sleeping much better. I’m easier going, less irritable. I have slightly less energy and an insatiable appetite. Otherwise, going great. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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