Sorry to go on and on about the memory loss thing but...

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

I did 2-3 hours reading on this yesterday. Studies had been done on those in late puberty who had taken adderall ; and they demonstrated a significant, long term (even permanent) decline in working memory for those who had been on adderall through that period.

Now I'm no teenager, and I know it is apparently still early days in my recovery (ugh, I'm as impatient as Kyle sometimes I think... ), but I am still having BIG working memory problems. For example, I had coffee with a friend yesterday and she recalled a conversation I'd had with her a couple of weeks before that I swear could have been fiction. And I was watching SNL online this morning when my husband said, "you saw that last week"... nope, no I didn't. Or so I thought.

I am TRYING to find studies that have been done on a) WHY and HOW long term adderall abuse impacts working memory (all the research I've found says it IMPROVES memory so that made me feel even worse); HOW LONG it takes after drug cessation before it comes back; c) whether it is possible to determine cases where there is permanent damage and d) what can be done to either speed recovery or encourage it.

Finally, and here is the big question. Does Ambien have anything to do with it? I've been taking 10mg for 4 years and yes, I'm totally addicted to that, too.

Yours forgetfully,

M

[ashley6]

As I was reading your post, the first thing that came to mind is, I wonder if she's on benzos. I don't know if Ambien is a benzo, but I've noticed my klonopin really has affected my memory. It's a known effect, so I'd research Ambien, because my best guess is it does. Also, you're new to quitting, and your memory will be impacted. It does improve, though. I'm not a lot of help here. Just wanted to say I understand!

[quit-once]

Different people approach and solve the same problem in different ways. Here is my approach to the memory issue:

What memory I have left is all I got for this lifetime. I have likely fried some, maybe lots, of memory cells from adderall abuse, mushrooms, acid, weed, coke and getting too drunk too many times. Thank God I never ate lead paint or had a concussion that I am aware of. So it really doesn't matter what caused it because it is all past behavior and lessons have been learned from being stupid. What matters most to me is how can I preserve and enhance what little is left cuz I am gonna need it all to get through this lifetime.

Computer games, luminosity, stimulating conversations, studying anything, puzzles, games and books, coupled with some kind of regular physical activity and of course taking fish oils are all things that can be done to get a better memory. I need to do more of these for my own memory. Supplements like ginko billoba or Yerbe Matte tea might help. Don't drink too much aspartame. Don't binge on sugar or other carbs.

Ashley has a good point: look into the influence of your ambien (and any other drugs or pills you are taking right now) on your memory, because that IS something you can control or change.

More recovery time will also benefit your memory especially if you eat well and take a few antioxident supplements, You are stil in the "mental fog" stages of early adderall recovery - you are not even to 90 days yet. Please have some more patience and just go with the flow of your recovery.

[Cassie]

I did this whole obsessive research thing too when I was in my early recovery stages, and it was pretty pointless. Even if there are long term studies on this, they are 1) most likely funded by big pharma, thus subject to bias in sample and methodology and 2) going to be so small and few that the evidence will be far from conclusive. When you can't find any conclusive research in the scientific literature, you will move on to random, unscientific Internet sites and alternate between freaking yourself out with horror stories and placating yourself with positive anecdotes from pro-Adderall users and doctors. But this aside, I think the more important question is, since you are on a cocktail of mind altering meds, how do you know which one is affecting your memory?

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

I don't think research is pointless. It may reap very little by way of return, and it's not going to make my brain more plastic, but the amt I've learned the last couple of days about brain function has been really great (if I can remember it all, ha!).

And I don't mean to be argumentative, but I am not on a "cocktail" of mind meds.... I kind of find that offensive. I take an antidepressant because I have clinical, chemical depression and it really helps me. I'd probably be dead if it wasn't for buproprion. And I take a sleeping med because I have insomnia - sure I should and will come off it eventually but give it time... I'm 60 days in to quitting adderall, and that's been hard enough. And I take a billion supplements because I've read about them on this site. Cassie, I'm trying, ok? Please go easy...

[ashley6]

60 days....congratulations! I agree with you that quitting adderall is enough...for now. I'm just now considering getting off of klonopin, 8 months later. It has benefited me in quitting, due to the extreme anxiety. So everything in due time. You'll know when the time is right.

[Cassie]

I didn't mean to offend you, that certainly wasn't my intention. I just didn't want you to psych yourself out reading about medical side effects on the Internet all day, because I definitely had those days (months?) where I freaked myself out and thought, 'Oh, my god, I've permanently fucked up my brain!' My point about the drug 'combo' is that you can't assess the true effects of a drug unless you take it on its own, otherwise it could be the drug or it could be its interaction with the other drug...you know what I mean. And I agree with Ashley that the Ambien might be more worrisome than the Adderall for memory issues.The truth is, we are all guinea pigs for these meds because there's not enough long term research and we don't know enough about the inner workings of the brain, but we do know that the brain is plastic, so have faith in your memory to come back because it will (and you don't need to waste your money on a billion supplements for that to happen either)

[Kyle_Chaos]

I didn't mean to offend you, that certainly wasn't my intention. I just didn't want you to psych yourself out reading about medical side effects on the Internet all day, because I definitely had those days (months?) where I freaked myself out and thought, 'Oh, my god, I've permanently fucked up my brain!' My point about the drug 'combo' is that you can't assess the true effects of a drug unless you take it on its own, otherwise it could be the drug or it could be its interaction with the other drug...you know what I mean. And I agree with Ashley that the Ambien might be more worrisome than the Adderall for memory issues.The truth is, we are all guinea pigs for these meds because there's not enough long term research and we don't know enough about the inner workings of the brain, but we do know that the brain is plastic, so have faith in your memory to come back because it will (and you don't need to waste your money on a billion supplements for that to happen either)

Very true, it's extremely scary that we're guinea pigs..

We're all going to be a generation of burnouts

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Thanks. I know it's not your intention to offend. And I agree with you... To some extent.... ESP re the longitudinal studies on modern antidepressants and neuropsychology meds. But amphetamines in some way shape or form have been widely used since the 1930s, and extensively in the military and sports... So it is hard to believe there is so little research out there specifically about memory loss. That's what I was researching. And I'm still coming up short... Despite all the collective wisdom and smarts of the quitting adderall gang!