sirod9 Posted July 8, 2022 Report Share Posted July 8, 2022 August 1st will be my 1 year off of adderall date. I guess I have this belief that I will be magically better once I hit a year. But to be honest, I am struggling pretty badly. I'm depressed, I can't stand my job, I'm having relationship issues (not sure if this will last), I feel tired, cognitive issues, no creativity or motivation to do anything, did I mention work is painful, ugh. I guess I'm experiencing PAWS...STILL. But it seems to be lasting a while. I'm even having trouble typing this out. Its frustrating! Maybe this is my normal. I just need to accept that I will occasionally be "out of service" for a bit. Maybe I need to chill out and ride the wave. I am experiencing cravings, but not to the point of wanting to actually take adderall. it is just lingering in the back of my mind. Sorry if this does not make sense. I am just a pile of discomfort right now. Any encouragement from those who have recovered long term would be greatly appreciated. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risingpheonix Posted July 9, 2022 Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 Sirod9 - I finally set up an account because I am so close to a relapse. I too am going to be a year off in August, and I too am struggling terribly. I only want to write to say that you're not alone. It's very hard to fight through the hard times, but I hope that you do. I feel like I should try to make it to a year and then reassess but it's been so very hellishly hard! I'm wishing you lots of luck and here's some solidarity for you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted July 9, 2022 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 58 minutes ago, risingpheonix said: Sirod9 - I finally set up an account because I am so close to a relapse. I too am going to be a year off in August, and I too am struggling terribly. I only want to write to say that you're not alone. It's very hard to fight through the hard times, but I hope that you do. I feel like I should try to make it to a year and then reassess but it's been so very hellishly hard! I'm wishing you lots of luck and here's some solidarity for you. Hi RisingPhoenix - Thank you! it is so hard. let's make a pact - to keep going and reassess at the 2 year mark, which seems to be enough time for our brains to heal. Relapse is not a good idea, but I totally understand. Let's play the tape through. Where will we be a year from now if relapse vs. where will you be if you remain sober. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted July 9, 2022 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 I like you username, btw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risingpheonix Posted July 9, 2022 Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 I wish I could go in on the pact! It's a good idea. I just feel like - I got it in my head that I can't deal with the struggle anymore and now my mind is sort of made up. I don't know how to undo it. I am playing the tape forward and telling myself "it will only be for a month until I'm out of the pits". Will that be it? Or will my brain again build up dependency and then I won't be able to imagine life without it? I can't see the future, I can't play the tape! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m34 Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Im so sorry I know how hard it is!! @sirod9I quit for a yr and got back on- keep going. @risingpheonixThe first round of quitting was in my 20s. At the yr mark I just decided that I was severely ADD. I didn’t know it was normal to feel bad after a yr. Wish I could have quit for good then, Anyways I got back on for 7 +yrs. keep going. You make a lot of progress from 1-2 yrs. I’m at 3.5 yrs now and feel great. It was worth the hell to be free of the adderall cycle, I wish I could get all those yrs back 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted July 10, 2022 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 1 hour ago, m34 said: Im so sorry I know how hard it is!! @sirod9I quit for a yr and got back on- keep going. @risingpheonixThe first round of quitting was in my 20s. At the yr mark I just decided that I was severely ADD. I didn’t know it was normal to feel bad after a yr. Wish I could have quit for good then, Anyways I got back on for 7 +yrs. keep going. You make a lot of progress from 1-2 yrs. I’m at 3.5 yrs now and feel great. It was worth the hell to be free of the adderall cycle, I wish I could get all those yrs back Thank you for sharing this! knowing that it is "normal" to still feel this way around the 1 mark, and things will improve really helps, more than you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted July 10, 2022 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 19 hours ago, risingpheonix said: I wish I could go in on the pact! It's a good idea. I just feel like - I got it in my head that I can't deal with the struggle anymore and now my mind is sort of made up. I don't know how to undo it. I am playing the tape forward and telling myself "it will only be for a month until I'm out of the pits". Will that be it? Or will my brain again build up dependency and then I won't be able to imagine life without it? I can't see the future, I can't play the tape! I've have been there. I quit for 10 1/2 months back in 2018, and relapsed. I too, had made up my mind that I was going to start taking it again. Two years later, I quit again...this time I'm at almost a year. You will be back, in the meantime, try to take good care of yourself! don't be too hard on yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risingpheonix Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Well, so far I made it another day! You've encouraged me and inspired me. Let's keep updating here. Hope to congratulate you on your one year. What's your quit date? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted July 11, 2022 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2022 6 hours ago, risingpheonix said: Well, so far I made it another day! You've encouraged me and inspired me. Let's keep updating here. Hope to congratulate you on your one year. What's your quit date? Yay!!! good job! I hope to congratulate you on your 2 year mark...one day at a time risingpheonix! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.