Searchingsoul9 Posted January 14, 2013 Report Share Posted January 14, 2013 Neversaynever, It's wonderful to see how much progress you've made this far. You're thinking with the sobriety mindset, and doing the trudging that has to happen. Searching soul, I guess the only way to find out if life is better on the other side is by trying it. It sounds like you and me have a lot of issues that were never dealt with, so adderall has been the mask. I, for much of my life, didn't feel normal. I was suicidal my freshman year of college, dealt with depression and anxiety much of my life, without adderall, and if I would've had the balls, might have gone through with it. It got much better then the following year I found adderall. Coincidence? I don't think so. The thing with getting sober is that those underlying issues have to be dealt with, or we're just drug addicts that quit using, meaning the addict mindset is still there. It's really a rebuilding process that might take (good)counseling and learning new ways of dealing with life. Something was missing all along for us, and that's why adderall had such an appeal. Life can get better, but it takes facing up and DEALING with the issues that got us to this point. I'm not trying to speak for you and your thoughts, just basing off of what I've read from you in your posts. I hope this makes sense. Makes complete sense. I've always been an expert at putting a bandage over the emotional wounds, but never really letting them heal. I don't know what exactly was/is missing in my life. It seem silly to think there was something missing ever since i was a child. I hate all the therapy-talk i hear from my mom and psychiatrist about "Finding out what the real problem is, why i chose to be self destructive all my life. Maybe because my mom was an alcoholic, my dads gay, my boy friend was abusive" It just seems like a load of crap to me, but maybe that's because i have never really given it a chance. A big part of me just thinks "I just have and always have had addictive behaviors. Simple as that" But what do i know? I didn't go to school for psychiatry so maybe there is some truth behind the whole 'finding the underlying cause to my behaviors' I just need to find a really good counselor. Not just someone who listens to me talk. Someone who actually gives me some damn adivce hah Thank you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted January 14, 2013 Report Share Posted January 14, 2013 I agree with you. Finding the root of our issues isn't going to be that helpful. I mean, if we knew the cause of them, it doesn't mean we can rewind our lives. Totally get that. After quitting, I had to start dealing with the issues that were already there, just find a way to move forward and actually face them. You've been dealt some tough things in your life, and it's great you don't view yourself as a victim, but those things surely have had some impact on you. Wait, this just clicked. Your mom was an alcoholic? If she recognizes your issues, she'd have to recognize her own. No wonder she doesn't want to face it. She's got to have guilt about being an alcoholic when raising you. Maybe she doesn't want to face that she might have some responsibility? I'm not saying she is responsible, but we addicts usually have a lot of guilt, especially after being clean and seeing someone of the havoc we've wreaked while using. I could be wrong, just a thought. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 14, 2013 Report Share Posted January 14, 2013 Issues off low-self-worth, guilt, depression and anxiety are so common amongst women of significantly-above-average IQ, did you know that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted January 14, 2013 Report Share Posted January 14, 2013 I know I don't have a higher than average IQ...I do think I have above average common sense and wisdom tho...hahaha. I'm thinking that doesn't mean shit as far as that study goes though huh??? My self esteem has been practically knocked out its taken such a beating lately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 16, 2013 Report Share Posted January 16, 2013 I agree with you. Finding the root of our issues isn't going to be that helpful. I mean, if we knew the cause of them, it doesn't mean we can rewind our lives. Totally get that. After quitting, I had to start dealing with the issues that were already there, just find a way to move forward and actually face them. You've been dealt some tough things in your life, and it's great you don't view yourself as a victim, but those things surely have had some impact on you. Wait, this just clicked. Your mom was an alcoholic? If she recognizes your issues, she'd have to recognize her own. No wonder she doesn't want to face it. She's got to have guilt about being an alcoholic when raising you. Maybe she doesn't want to face that she might have some responsibility? I'm not saying she is responsible, but we addicts usually have a lot of guilt, especially after being clean and seeing someone of the havoc we've wreaked while using. I could be wrong, just a thought. No, i see your point there. i have thought the same thing. And she still is an alcoholic. She just pretends it doesn't count because she is sober all day, and then after work her relaxation time is throwing back 2 bottles of wine. No one is allowed to say anything. If we do she cries and gets VERY defensive. We have to pretend it's all fine. So she pretends my addictions are no big deal either. So does my brother.We just grew up learning to tip toe around peoples feelings and problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted January 16, 2013 Report Share Posted January 16, 2013 I just need to find a really good counselor. Not just someone who listens to me talk. Someone who actually gives me some damn adivce hah There are a number of therapy databases online where you can find a shrink by zipcode and areas of specialization ... e.g. they write a paragraph or 2 about themselves and types of therapy they do just to give you a sense of who they are. Then you can call and speak to them and if you think it might be a fit, see if they offer free consultations . Then the real test is in-person. Finding a shrink is an interview process -- if something's not right then move on to the next. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waronwar Posted January 17, 2013 Report Share Posted January 17, 2013 Crap i missed out on this! vegas convention! awesome! I am trying to learn how to use the forums... slowly getting the hang of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.