TylerDurden Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 Every time I 'quit' Adderall I manage to succeed for up to 2-weeks, BUT... I always end up rationalizing popping a pill 'just one last time' to get some 'important' work done. It's a bunch of bullshit and I'm tired of it. This thread is mainly to keep myself accountable...I'm going to post at least 1 time each day. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rach Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 I have the same problem. I know I need to change Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 Except for a three month stretch, I have been posting on this site every day for a year and half. Having been a longtime member here and seeing a lot of people come and go over the past year and half, here is what I observe. If you post on this site every you WILL succeed in quitting Adderall. Everyone who has been posting on this site every day for the last 10 months or more are still clean from Adderall. Its kind of the same principle as in AA and NA where you have to call your sponsor every day. Only this time you are posting on the site every day. Im sure if research was done, you would find a strong correlation between 1) posting on this site and 2) Beating Adderall addiction. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 Except for a three month stretch, I have been posting on this site every day for a year and half. Having been a longtime member here and seeing a lot of people come and go over the past year and half, here is what I observe. If you post on this site every you WILL succeed in quitting Adderall. Everyone who has been posting on this site every day for the last 10 months or more are still clean from Adderall. Its kind of the same principle as in AA and NA where you have to call your sponsor every day. Only this time you are posting on the site every day. Im sure if research was done, you would find a strong correlation between 1) posting on this site and 2) Beating Adderall addiction. This is a brilliant observation, InRecovery. And very motivating. I am curious to know from you and the other long-time members here what percentage of newbies stick with it/us. It seems to me that there are ebbs and flows, but there is most definitely a core set of devotees, which is what makes the site so special to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 Very interesting. As they say at the end of every AA meeting, "keep coming back. It works if you work it," seems to be relevant to this site too. It's our own little program of recovery. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olivia115 Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 I went through the same cycle every month. It came down to handing my pills and scripts over to my boyfriend because I had lost control. I could NOT hold myself accountable anymore. Is there anyone in your life that knows what youre going through that you can trust? I found this the most effective way for me to quit because I had someone else to hold me accountable which is what I needed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 Do it! I don't have anyone in my "real" life holding me accountable because no one knows I took adderall except my doc. This site has been super important as a motivator and way to hold myself accountable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomedayDreamer Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 It really is remarkable the difference it can make for motivation and "stick-to-it-tiveness" being a part of this forum when you have no one in "real" life to hold you accountable. I've no doubt it's what's helped me these past three weeks. Although we are all relative strangers to each other and our individual circumstances vary dramatically, you become a part of something bigger than just yourself (as those who may recall the movie "Happy"... kinda applies in this situation too). With so many at various points in their recovery, it helps greatly to know you're not alone in what you may encounter in overcoming this addiction. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 I have to agree that posting on this site and reading everyone's stories every day, even as a new member, has been helping me more than I could even convey!! I've never been in AA or NA, but that 100% makes sense--it works if you work it. Very few people in my life know my "dirty secret," and those who do either a) couldn't understand (i.e. "why don't you just drink coffee?") and/or b ) don't need that kind of burden. Here, we understand the struggles and share the process so we don't have to go it alone It's working! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted January 31, 2013 Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 This is a brilliant observation, InRecovery. And very motivating. I am curious to know from you and the other long-time members here what percentage of newbies stick with it/us. It seems to me that there are ebbs and flows, but there is most definitely a core set of devotees, which is what makes the site so special to me. MFA, unfortunately, we do have a high turnover rate here. people post once and then vanish. As you probably noticed. I dont know what percentage of newbies stick with us. I don't know if its better than what i hear is the generally accepted statistic of 1 of 35 addicts cleans up for good. It would be great to see more. I know how INCREDIBLY desperate they are to quit when they come here with their first post, but then they're poof - gone. QO, Ashley, Cassie,kylechaos, lil tex and all you others...what do you all think about this? then there are the people who post a lot and THEN disappear, and i really wonder how they are doing... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted January 31, 2013 Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 MFA, unfortunately, we do have a high turnover rate here. people post once and then vanish. As you probably noticed. I dont know what percentage of newbies stick with us. I don't know if its better than what i hear is the generally accepted statistic of 1 of 35 addicts cleans up for good. It would be great to see more. I know how INCREDIBLY desperate they are to quit when they come here with their first post, but then they're poof - gone. QO, Ashley, Cassie,kylechaos, lil tex and all you others...what do you all think about this? then there are the people who post a lot and THEN disappear, and i really wonder how they are doing... I can attest to people posting on this site in desperation and then bolting, because I was one of them. So yeah, I think if people post and then go away, there's a good chance that they've relapsed. When I posted and ran, I didn't think about this site at all until I quit again. I think relapse is common for quitting all drugs, but amphetamines especially. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted January 31, 2013 Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 People have many different reasons and motivations for posting here. For example, I was almost three months into my quit before i had the desire and motivation ot begin posting while other people beging posting even before they take their last pill. And I was aware of this site for about nine months before I quit. i imagine there are lots of people who never join or post here but follow the postings on a regular basis, and I am sure it has helped a lot of people quit. There are others, who get the help they need here to quit, from only a few postings, successfully quit, and then move on with their lives and we never hear from them again. There are some who come back and post a positive update or a relapse update after many months or years of dormancy. There are some, like InRecovery or LilTex, who take a three month or year long hiatus from here and then come back. Most simply fade away into the history of past posts. What I am trying to say is that you cannot assume anything just because somebody has quit posting. You will never be able to assemble any kind of a success ratio based on who continues to post or even log on to this site, simply because of its anonymous nature. I found it to be highly encouraging reading success stories, especially before I quit, because it showed me that people can and do beat this awful addiction and return to living normal, healthy and productive lives. That is why I am still posting after 1.5 years. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted January 31, 2013 Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 My guess is a lot probably continue to use after posting, but I know one girl who used to post here all the time, doesn't anymore, but I remain in contact with her every once in awhile, and she's still clean and doing great. I would guess she's the exception to the rule, but like quit-once said, I guess we'll never know due to the anonymous nature of the site. I don't think it's any different than AA or NA. Some stay, some go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 31, 2013 Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 I think relapse is common for quitting all drugs, but amphetamines especially. Cassie why do you think amphetamine relapse is more common than for other drugs? Just curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 31, 2013 Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 That is why I am still posting after 1.5 years. I'm sure there are unnumbered crowds who are grateful for this, QO. I am just one. But your consistency of message, regardless of who was posting, is what kept drawing me back to these forums, long before I posted. I watched this site for a long time before I plucked up the courage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted January 31, 2013 Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 So I have a confession ... I had originally posted another another name (synergistic, then Lulu) @ the end of 2012, then relapsed and opened my current account a few days later (January 1st or 2nd.) I was embarrassed and humiliated after spilling my guts and getting so much love and support and then having the gall to use again the next day. But it also really brought me to my knees. That's the nature of addiction I guess. Now that I've been around the site a whopping 3 weeks (without using - woo hoo!) I GET that the love and support is unconditional and for that I am eternally grateful. So again I say thank you all from the bottom of my heart and I would like nothing more than to go on that trip to Vegas whenever it happens! xoxo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted January 31, 2013 Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 Lea, thanks for your honesty about your multiple personalities or usernames. I know of at least two other members who have done something similar. Most of us who make regular contributions to this site really do care about the people we are responding to. We put a lot of thought and time into individualized responses and might tend fo feel ignored or abandoned when the person whom we are repeatedly posting with suddenly and permantly just vanishes from the website. A natural response would be to assume a full blown relapse of that person. I don't even want to consider accidents or death. Personally, I don't assume anything, and each post or response I draft is done so without any kind of assumption or expectation. And I never forget we are dealing with addiction and drug addicts who know how to lie really, really well. Although, I never have figured out why anybody would lie about anything on an anonymous self help addiction recovery website. Facebook is for liars and false fronts, kinda like somebody's pristine and tidy flowerbeds and and always-mown front lawn. This place is like the unpainted woodshed in an overgrown backyard. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted January 31, 2013 Report Share Posted January 31, 2013 Most of us who make regular contributions to this site really do care about the people we are responding to. We put a lot of thought and time into individualized responses and might tend fo feel ignored or abandoned when the person whom we are repeatedly posting with suddenly and permantly just vanishes from the website. Thanks quit_once -- I appreciate the perspective. And the analogy about the unpainted woodshed too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 Cassie why do you think amphetamine relapse is more common than for other drugs? Just curious. Partially because stimulants work directly on your dopamine neurons (reward/alertness) and it takes so long to rebuild those, and partly because it's a performance enhancing drug that we take for alertness and productivity, rather than to escape life, so we feel like we're doing a good thing at first. For me, it was really easy to add Adderall to my life and have no one suspect anything. Productivity in itself can be very addictive. I don't have any statistics on this, these are just my personal observations. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 Lea, thanks for your honesty about your multiple personalities or usernames. I know of at least two other members who have done something similar. Most of us who make regular contributions to this site really do care about the people we are responding to. We put a lot of thought and time into individualized responses and might tend fo feel ignored or abandoned when the person whom we are repeatedly posting with suddenly and permantly just vanishes from the website. A natural response would be to assume a full blown relapse of that person. I don't even want to consider accidents or death. Personally, I don't assume anything, and each post or response I draft is done so without any kind of assumption or expectation. And I never forget we are dealing with addiction and drug addicts who know how to lie really, really well. This is really well described, QO. Clearly I haven't been on this site for too long but it's the only online forum I've ever been part of where it feels like a real community. I've looked at the member list and there are 10's of people who sign up every day yet there doesn't seem to be too many posters, let alone "regulars".... I'd find that too confusing to keep up with I think! Something I have noticed that tends to happen in the "tell your story" section is that [especially on weekends] people post their story of how they want to give up, they've struggled with giving up maybe before, that this is the first day of their attempt to quit and they want to keep themselves accountable. Sometimes it takes a while for the whole "team" to respond to this because, yes it's sounds cynical but it is my observation, that some of these posters never post again. It would be interesting to see how many people in the "tell your story" section do just that, and then never return. Honestly, even if they did come back and tell us they're trying and failing that would allow us to offer support... but there do seem to be some red flags that the community looks for: 1) does the person mention they have actually quit or plan to quit 2) do they have a plan to get through the first couple of weeks at least 3) have they disposed of their stash and got rid of their provider (doc or otherwise) 4) have they told their friends or family and have other support 5) are they realistic about what they're about to experience These are all my observations of course but if info pertaining to the above is not included in a poster's first post (or relapse post), they tend to be the first questions asked. I trust the amazingly generous and genuinely forgiving people who are on this site every day that they know what they're doing, and they ask these questions for a reason. Don't know if that's right, but it does resonate with me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 So I have a confession ... I had originally posted another another name (synergistic, then Lulu) @ the end of 2012, then relapsed and opened my current account a few days later (January 1st or 2nd.) I was embarrassed and humiliated after spilling my guts and getting so much love and support and then having the gall to use again the next day. But it also really brought me to my knees. That's the nature of addiction I guess. Now that I've been around the site a whopping 3 weeks (without using - woo hoo!) I GET that the love and support is unconditional and for that I am eternally grateful. So again I say thank you all from the bottom of my heart and I would like nothing more than to go on that trip to Vegas whenever it happens! xoxo It takes a lot to admit this. Esp as there is no reward other than to know that you are being true to yourself. You should feel proud, because addiction tells you it's ok to lie, and sobriety tells you it's not. This admittance may not be a big deal in the "online forum" world, but to you, it should symbolize a real desire to be honest with yourself as a person. And that's a BIG step forward in recovery. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TylerDurden Posted February 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 Wow. Look at all the responses. I'm about to go back the first page and read them all. Just wanted to update with bad news.... FUCK! Having the flu and NOTHING to do....I got into my own head...I convinced myself I needed to apply to one more law school since it was the last day to apply....even though I didn't need to apply to any more schools....somehow I managed to persuade myself into '1 last day.' Disappointed in myself...I'm weaker than I thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TylerDurden Posted February 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 This flu is fucking killing me peeps. It has me isolated from everyone, locked alone in my room where the temptation is too high. Tomorrow I'm going to leave the house alone for at least part of the day to remove myself from this wretched temptation. I can do this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 did you get rid of your stash? that's the easiest way to reduce the temptation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TylerDurden Posted February 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2013 did you get rid of your stash? that's the easiest way to reduce the temptation! I gave the stash to my mother and told her not to let me have it not matter what I tell her. She agreed. Second day off of it...so unmotivated...so tired....have no willpower lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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