Bubbagump99
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Posts posted by Bubbagump99
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Wow, pretty much exactly how I feel right now.
what the hell is going on in my head? :/
I feel like I don't even know who 'I' am anymore
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Ok guys, without going into crazy details in wondering if anyone has any experience or input on this.
I've been in a relationship with someone for a very long time. however I met someone new over a year ago and have this crazy bond with this new person I've never had w anyone before.
Before I started tapering my addy I thought I wanted to move away and be w this new guy. However, now that I'm tapering, I feel like idk if that's what u want. However, I don't want to be w my current partner either.
Idk if it's bc I'm tired and depressed but I feel like I just don't care. Like period. I don't care. If I stop and think about it, I think my heart does care and still wants the new guy, but my mind is just like eff that. I feel like I have no motivation and again, don't care.
I feel like idk what I want, who I want. I feel like I'm guessing and doubting everything that I thought I want. I'm scared of change too so that's not helping.
You guys, I'm having a hard time figuring out what's real right now. I don't know what I'm feeling and very, very, confused.
Feel like since I started tapering I just pushed everyone pretty much away. I'm more quiet and don't want to talk to anyone...
What was your quitting like if you were in a relationship at the time? How did the quitting of the drugs affect your relationship? And your mind frame about he relationship??
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Wow, thank you for taking the time to write and explain all of that. I appreciate it! 😊
So could I have or anyone else f*cked up the dopa in my brain forever by taking adderall for so long? Will I ever be back to 'normal'?
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Hey, I'm good. Yeah still tapering. going down to 10mg this weekend. feeling ok. Have good days, have bad days. I do feel better when I don't eat carbs/sugar. Need to get some supplements though. only taking a b 6/12 vitamin or whatever the hell it is.. Haha.
So overwhelming.
The dr last wk said she would prescribe me antidepressants but I told her I didn't want to go on them to get off another drug.. I'm so over popping pills. :/
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From what I understood, adderall increased the dopamine levels in your brain.. Which make you feel good. However, after reading some stuff online I've read that serotonin is the chemical that controls depression/appetite.
So are both of those chemicals low when quitting adderall?? What's going on in my brain right now?
Can I balance stuff out in there without taking antidepressants?? Smh
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Yeah, I have major stress going on right now.. Crazy stuff going on. It's not like the dreams are all bad, or bad at all.. They seem to wear me out though.. Feel like the mornings I wake up not feeling rested were the nights I dreamt a lot. Is that weird?🙄
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Yeah, thank you.
My doc yesterday did rec going on antidepressants when I told her how depressed I felt on the 15mgs for those initial two weeks. Told her I didn't really wanna. Told her I didn't wanna start taking a new pill to get off another pill. SMH!
She said that was ok it was my choice. You could tell she was a little concerned bc she didn't want to 'tell me' what to do, but I told her if I came to the point where I couldn't take it and felt like I absolutely needed it- then ok. seemed to sense a sigh of relief in her voice. Starting my 10mgs soon. Probably this weekend. can't believe I'm halfway there already. sigh
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Yeah, definitely not lol
No desire to go back.. Just going forward... As hard as it is.. no going back now. :/
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What did you think liltex? lol now you have to say!
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Ever since I started tapering off these pills, I've been having crazy dreams. Vivid dreams, and a lot of them.
Anyone else experience this?
And does anyone know why?
Some nights I dream so much it disturbs my sleep :/
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Idk honestly I was just wondering. Don't think there was a specific reason. Guess I was just wondering if anyone else used Coke or another street drug that was an 'upper' like I had.
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I probably should of answered myself.. just realizing this.. Duh.
1. Yes, always cocaine. I actually turned to ad bc it seemed better/legal/it's ok bc it's a prescribed drug.
2. I'm really not sure :/
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Hey Janie, yeah, thank you. I actually started feeling better a few days ago. Seems like it took me almost 2 weeks to get 'use' to the 15mg. The last few days I have been happy again and upbeat, and ok. Sure I'm a little tired but that depression went away. Thank god.
I'm going to dr today for her to 'check' on me. I have already have 10mg pills filled but thinking about asking her for 12.5mg.. I think they make those? Lol I just don't want to send my body into a shock again. I also have a feeling she might prescribe me antidepressants but I don't and won't go on those unless I ABSOLUTELY need them. Don't want to go on one drug to get off another.
Guess we shall see.
Glad you're doing ok. It's hard for me, but it's definitely easier to taper than to cold turkey. Guess everyone is different. And I can definitely do this because I want this now, I'm ready..
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Congrats elaina. Was it hard to quit once you found out you were preggers? Or did it take you awhile to quit?
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Janie- it's cool, you're fine posting here. It's nice to see and hear other people's stories, since we all can mostly relate. I tried cold turkey and the brain fog was unbearable. Could hardly get up in the morning, work was forget it. I can't 'slack' that much at work and be able to keep my job.
This tapering method although it's hard, is working for me way better than quitting cold turkey. At least I can somewhat function and get through the day. Yeah I'm tired, and depressed, but when I did cold turkey, I felt dead. Don't know how else to explain it.
If I had known it would be like this to quit this drug and what it's done to my life, I would of never taken it 9 years ago
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1. Have you had a problem with other drugs.., i.e. Street drugs?
2. Do you consider yourself a drug addict?
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I hear ya. That's why I felt like I needed to tell my doc I wanted to taper because I knew I would try and go back to get more. It is hard this way, but cold turkey was much harder for me. I literally couldn't move when I stopped cold turkey. felt like I was in a coma but was able to talk and move my arms and legs but not get anywhere. Ok, that made no sense lol
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Haha don't tel me that. Because 20mg actually felt really good to be on. Better than 30. ahhhh
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If I quit cold turkey it's gonna be a hundred times worse. Can't even function. I need to work and get my work done. Actually started feeling better this morning. Felt like it took me a few days to get use to dropping from 30mg to 20, and now it felt like it took the whole 2 weeks to get use to dropping from 20 to 15. Have apt w dr on Tuesday. I have 10mg and 5mg pills at home but gonna see if she can give me 12.5 and 7.5mg pills too. So this way I don't have to go from 15 to 10 to 5. But go 15 to 12.5 to 10 to 7.5 to 5 etc
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Hanging, literally
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Thanks for sharing. I'm in the process of tapering off, and needed a reminder of all of this. Starting to feel hopeless and helpless over here, ha! Smh
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I'm tapering down from 30 to currently 15mg and I've been feeling super depressed on 15. I actually felt better when I dropped from 30 to 20. So I thought I'd feel great on 15, but I don't. Feel very tired, and feel depressed. feel like just crying. Anyone have any words of encouragement or advice?
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Quentin- exactly how I feel. It sounds so corny, but I feel like I want my life back. I don't even remember who the real me is anymore. Feel like I'm just existing in life and not living it. And this drug is part of the problem. I don't want to waste anymore of my time. I'm currently down to 15mg from 30. It's hard, but you know what? The time is gonna pass anyways, so I might as well do it.
When you're ready, you will do it. But that's just it, you have to be ready. You have to want it.
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I only have a week vacation and that obviously isn't gonna cut it. I thought I could of been pregnant earlier this month and it was a big wake up call for me. Realizing I would of had to stop cold turkey. Really made me realize I need to get off of this sh!t bc its controlling almost every aspect of my life:/
Has anyone been to a NA meeting?
in General Discussion
Posted
Just wondering if anyone has been, and wonder what a meeting is like.. Starting to wonder if going to them will help me at all......