SoPowerful

Def made excuses, sleeping all day, depressed, everything was a chore, I craved Adderall pretty much everyday, and I did not mention I regret buying a few illegally, just to get that buzz. I really don't feel like a deserve credit for being sober, sober against my will maybe. even though, I hate being on Adderall, the addiction is that of love-hate. Kinda like the Adderall high and than the Adderall crash. With that said, I know I cannot do this forever...really will destroy everything pure and good in my life. Getting high, that's all this is about now...getting that little 1-3 hour happy euphoric high, its not about being focused, controlling add... It's maintaining a state of high. In which I'm powerless to control. And even though its destroying my life, I still want more. F***

I'm toward the end of my monthly rx of Adderall 30mg RX, problem being 11 days before my next doctors appointment. So as you could imagine, I feel like complete poop. Wired, skin bone dry, mouth bone dry...thoughts racing and out of my control. Heart rate beating out of my chest. I feel like complete hell, nasty, dirty. Just plan gross. Tweeking. I hate myself, I just feel like dying. No way I can take Adderall. I told myself 1 pill per day, I have this under control. 2 weeks later, they're all gone. I can't believe it. I'm literally gonna kill myself with this drug. I'm not even productive at all, It helps me, in no way. It's all a lie. I'm gonna die taking Adderall. What should I do?