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About Bluesbro1931

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  1. Hello again, I need help finding the correct vitamins and supplements to help speed up my recovery process. After doing more research about Adderall on the internet I learned that I was very addicted to it. I would never take it as prescribed, I was a binge user. When I quit I noticed that the withdraw symptoms were present but not crippling. The most important thing me is getting back to my normal personality/thought process. I can't tell you how many times I've entered the psychosis phase; over the years I've been there so many times I learned how to cope (as messed up as that sounds). I've read that there are many different things one can take to help return them to their original state of mind. What better place to get the answers then this forum. While I'm on the subject I wanted to take time to thank every single person on this site. It's been really hard trying to find someone that understands addiction. My girlfriend, parents, friends they don't understand it takes a lot more the quit something that has a hold on you mentally. The only person that I can relate to is step-sister who is unfortunately on her third week of heroine recovery. I'm glad that I've been through this addiction because I am the only person in her life that truly understands how she is thinking and feeling. I kind of went off there; but the fact is thank you so much to every single person out there. Only thing is too find some natural tools to help balance me back out. Have a great day everyone! Joseph
  2. Husband,Dad,Supervisor..& Addicted

    This might be a long shot. But are you able to use anytime off just to get through a week or two?
  3. I've have begun the first steps to quitting. I would just really like to have connection so I can share experiences, and day to day life. If anyone is interested please let me know.
  4. SC or Anywhere (:

    Where are you at in SC?
  5. Stuck in hell

    I'm sorry to hear that these things have happened. Adderall take you down a dark road, and even when your happy the dark clouds are always hanging above your head. I completely understand being an 'All or nothing" kind of person. An addicted personality is a gift and a curse. There was a quote I'm sure everyone has heard. "Everything in moderation, even moderation". So when you begin your journey try mapping out exactly what you want, and begin by taking small steps. Through my own experience I found just because your resting at night, doesn't mean your getting HEALTHY SLEEP. First things first, make sure your getting good sleep, there's an app for that lol. Second, this one is the most important, try getting some form of exercise, this will of course help with fatigue. I'm not saying go to the gym for hours, just even small gains per day will reflect results. One step at a time. You can get through this! Here is a thought, the 100 dollars you spent on the 5 30mgs use that to treat your self when lets say you reach the 3 week make. It all goes back to the "everything in moderation, even moderation"; so get out there and treat yourself to something and gain perspective on how better a 100 dollars is than 5 30mgs. Also, I found ACUPRESSURE really helps a lot with how you feel. There are so many helpful videos on youtube. Stay strong, and congrats on making the first step
  6. The Millionaire Loses It All to ADDERALL

    Like the great Muhammed Ali said, "If your mind thinks it, and your heart believes it; then you can achieve it" At least I think that is how the quote goes. I guess I've always thought that I was the greatest at everything I did, but don't we all? What I saw with the Adderall use was, I would project those thoughts out into the world and it would define peoples image of me. I don't never wanted to be like that, I just wanted to be humble. But, the Adderall took my ability to be humble. I think its always key to believe in yourself, just make sure you keep all your own arrogant, self-confident, egotistic thoughts to yourself. The ego can be a powerful tool, but also your worst enemy.
  7. "This Dream turned out to be a Nightmare"... My story

    Thank you for sharing with me. I would like to tell my doctor, but I don't want to influence the way he thinks about the drug; because some people actually need it. Would canceling my prescription be the best thing to do? I've told my girlfriend; I feel bad because I'm always having to put her through my substance with drawls. She says she understands, but unlike me she doesn't have an addicted personality or impulsive behavior. I just hate the feeling of fatigue more than anything. It really sucks.
  8. Hello everyone, I can't even begin to appreciate what this forum has to offer; I'm lucky that I can finally speak with people that I can relate too. So, I'm 23 years old as of now; about 5 years ago is when it all began. I use to be extremely fit, and energetic individual. When I was 17 years old I lost a lot of things in one year. This is where the substance abuse began. I was a heavy marijuana user, for a lot of years. I always new it was never good for; I knew it held me back. But, I was so depressed and suffered from low-self esteem, so I was seeking any kind of band aid to put over the wound. I began taking Adderall around that same time. The weed and Adderall together was my absolute favorite. Adderall made me everything I knew I was at the time, the euphoria, concentration, social godliness. Soon after I started taking it, I began abusing it. Another little bit of background, this is important. I am an avid musician/singer-songwriter; it is all that I've ever wanted to do with my life. I dropped out of college for it (although I think addy had some influence there), and gave up everything to pursue it. This is the only reason I justify to myself that its worth taking. I would literally practice 8 hours a day for years; the results where well worth it. But, as the years went by every time I looked in the mirror I recognized less and less of myself. Basically, I'm at the point where I finally understand the truth. I always thought the weed was the problem, but I realize the now the Adderall has always been the problem. I've always wanted to quit but I always went back for the script so I could go ham and write songs. This is typically how my last 2 years have gone. I would get my script of 20mg, and I would run out in about 8 days; granted I would probably sleep 2 days out of the 8. These binges were absolutely terrible but month after month I follow the same vicious cycle. I quit using the marijuana about 6 months ago. The only real difference I see is I'm not high lol. I am finally ready for what needs to be done. I quit using literally yesterday and that's because I went on another binge and I figured enough is enough. All this time I thought it was making me more creative; but quite the contrary it has been holding me back all this time. I know what is coming. I want to try and prepare for it. That is why I ask anyone out there or any kind of tips on kicking this. I always do fine the first 3 weeks, but that craving comes back with a vengeance towards the refill date. Has anyone else had this same experience? They justified using it for years to merely train a passion one could do when they are sober? I just want to be myself again; I want to be healthy; I don't want to be sleep deprived; I want to be able to be proud and refreshed; most importantly I want the old me back.