Cody

Not to mention you didn't quite tell me how i was "resigning" myself there so please do elaborate if you are going to condemn me.

I can put myself down thanks, i don't need other people to do that for me. I was looking for help.

Thank you Motivation. This is actually a real turning point for me and i'd love some more input. I went from 185 pounds and somewhat healthy, and 240 pounds after adderall. I went to the doctor and didn't mention my Amphetamine problem and am going to start trying something new called phentermine in about a week. Guys I know i might take some flak for it but i know it's not as strong as adderall. My withdrawal has been a thing outta heck and i have really not made any progress. I want adderall back very badly so i'm trying to choose the lesser of two evil's here. Keep in mind i'd rather have phentermine..and even adderall as opposed to struggling with alchohol which will kill you a lot faster. Any wisdom?

Man it is crazy to see how it all did the same thing to people, just in different ways. I mean from people like me with needing to accomplish finite tasks and achievements in video games, to people who felt like it made them shop more or even practice music more. We all got sucked into our own little fantasy lands. It's like it took our passions and burned them up in a fire..it was a rush and felt great but now they are almost damaged beyond repair. Quit-once: It's great to hear that in the longer stages of recovery you have developed new passions. Thanks for sharing. Falcon you are on to something there...peaceful minds are the opposite of what Adderall did to us. I miss the rush and the fire and the passion and pleasure of feeling so amazing...but I know it was fake. There was zero peace in that. It was a half-life. Everyone: Thanks for posting your thoughts! It really helps.

Guys thanks so much for the motivation and encouragement...the best thing in the world for me has been to see that i am not insane and that this effed up drug did to others what it did to me (although i hate it for you guys). I'm still clean but now i'm REALLY trying to kick the alcohol out completely. I know if I let it take adderall's place it will friggin tear me apart..to be honest i feel like adderall is LESS harmful (atleast physically). Man this really is the toughest part of the withdrawal for me. To be honest with you guys I took adderall for the euphoria MORE than i did to get things done. The hardest part in all this right now for me in what i believe is the lowest of the lows, finding joy in anything. I used to love an occassional play through of a video game for example, but now I don't even want to pick up a controller...isn't that effed up? This thing not only stole my motivation but my joy from life..I'm so ticked. Things i once enjoyed doing no longer do anything for me. Falcon, congrats on being clean this long i'm really glad you had a good couple of days. *EDIT* Just wanted to add...do any of you guys feel like adderall made you a lazier person, and only focused you on the things you enjoyed? Like it really got me addicted to online gaming for example, when I should have been building a life, or looking for a job for example. I feel like I'll never be able to experience anything as enjoyable as popping a 30mg and playing some xbox. I know you won't ALL relate to me but this is where i'm at. I am trying to start exercising, but like i said it's hard right now to do the things i once ENJOYED much less something that takes some good effort. Thanks everyone

I'm in the quitting process myself, a month and a half in. I can tell you for a FACT that I personally had to get rid of every last pill because I know how much I still "love" the stuff..even if it destroys me. I do not see how in the world anyone who has been on this stuff for a while can have it lying around the house and NOT be tempted to take it (i know there are some of you like that and it's fine). I just know that even when i'm a lot further into this...just 1 pill could STILL catapult me back into the addiction cycle.

This stuff is incredibly helpful you guys, I really have been alone in this struggle as none of my friends or family have really struggled with addiction so even though they mean well, they don't quite know what i'm going through. I'm looking forward to being in this community. Cassie- that is great advice, I need to throw a few more things in the schedule! :-) MVA: Thank you very much for the encouragement, it is nice to hear that you were right at the point I am and got through it, I will take ALL of those suggestions and look into them. Quit-once: You are hitting the nail on the head I believe. Thanks for shooting straight about the alcohol. I think I knew that already but didn't see any alternatives (do to poor lack of research) so I kept seeing it as the lesser evil if I didn't go back to adderall. I hate it, and I hate how unhealthy i KNOW it is for me. I will really research these supplements, thought i'm not sure where to get the L-Tyrosine or HTP-5 (forgive me for asking if it is posted in the supplement section, I haven't read it yet Adderall really snuck into my life, and just to give you guys some background it cost me an engagement to the young lady I love. We are seeking to fix things though and then move forward so I am VERY serious about kicking this addiction and preemptively preparing for the road ahead. Thanks all of you!!

I’ve been off of adderall now for a good month and a half. I had been taking it for three years and usually when I got the meds filled, I’d be taking atleast 100mg a day and running out a couple of weeks before my next fill. I went cold turkey, but I am still really craving the stimulus. I don’t like who I am on adderall..but to replace it I have been drinking alchoholic beverages a lot more than usual lately because of the lack of anything being in my system. I have been trying to get my life back on track, attempting to make a steady workout routine (I used to be a swimmer and runner before adderall) but I cannot shake the desire for it. Does this go away in time? I don’t want to trade one addiction for another, I just need practical ways to fight the urges i have for the high again. It doesn’t help that i work basically as a telemarketer full time, I'm in my early twenties and am really wanting to get out of adderall land here, but it seems like if i don't have it in my system I go seeking out SOME sort of stimulus. I'm sure a lot of you have wisdom, please share. I knew quitting cold turkey would be tough but after a month and a half I was hoping the desire to seek this stuff out would get less intense. I don't currently have access to the drug, and am not seeing that psychologist anymore, I'm just afraid I could easily seek it out again from another doctor. Tips? Advice? Any step down meds I could use to counter the desire to drink? Thanks in advance, I've got way to much going for me to let this OR alcohol get in my way of living life right now, it's just a tougher fight than I anticipated :-/