I'm 28 years old and I have been taking some form of amphetamines since I was 19. From 19-21 I took 25 mg adderall xr. I felt like I was becoming too dependent on it since I would take it daily. I had my doctor lower my dosage to 10 mg IR to take as needed. From 21-25 I would binge take the drug, not taking it at all through the week but taking up to 50 mg on weekends to finish school projects. When I began teaching at a high school, I made the swap (my pharmacist best friend suggested) to vyvanse. I would take 50 mg almost daily. For the past two years, I've been taking 60MG vyvanse with 20-25 mg adderall xr 4-5 days a week.
I don't even know who I am without this drug.
I am terrified that I won't be able to work out, read, write, think, socialize without it. My entire 20's were fueled by amphetamines.
I am terrified that my brain is permanently messed up and that I won't be able to find happiness. I know I need to do this. But the first step is frightening me.
Any advice/encouragement would be helpful. I'm not even sure where to start.