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Madd

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Madd last won the day on October 21 2018

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  1. Hi. I've been clean 14 months from heavy dexamphetamine use which I was on for ten years. Can't say I'm feeling very positive about life. Constant depression and anxiety and some very serious apathy. I cannot be bothered doing anything and it's not getting any better? I have no social life whatsoever and really can't see much point in anything. Everything seems pointless. There is no pleasure in anything. This is not well. Is this still me recovering or is this a seperate issue do you think? I really want to avoid prescription meds but I'm really struggling with how things are going? Any advice would be great!
  2. Thanks for that comment it's good hearing these types of things from those who really understand etc.
  3. Cheers guys !!! And fuck no way would I get back on the dexamphetamine. I'm an addict so I know being fully clean and sober is the only way forward.
  4. Oh they'll def be no going back that's not an option. And yes need to get back into the gym. I was majorly into it up until about two months ago when this next level no motivation and zero energy stepped up. Cheers for the reply.
  5. Hey guys, I am nine months clean from ten years of heavy dexamphetamine abuse. I was prescribed the drug originally for ADHD but like most on this forum abused it pretty badly. I've just hit a major wall and over the last eight weeks seem to have gotten worse with anxiety and depression. I had social anxiety really badly when I was younger and the dexamphetamine made it go away but toward the last two years of taking it the negative side effects of abuse meant I had to stop taking it. I'm having trouble letting go of the past and can't stop thinking about the years I was on it and even though it was chaotic etc can't seem to understand why I don't remember how much shit it caused me from abusing the drug to crippling gambling habits etc. It's bizarre I can't seem to remember the bad shit it caused and I'm only thinking about how it made life easier and made my life happier? I'm sure someone on here can relate to where I'm at right now and any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. This depression and anxiety sux.
  6. I'm only 3 months sober but when you realise that you cannot and will not ever be able to stick to a minimal prescribed dose EVER then the road to recovery can begin. Gregs comment above where he says that "one single pill will make everything come crashing down" is the absolute truth of truths. Us addicts CANNOT take one pill ever again without massive, massive consequences . There's no way to justify the use and when you understand that the journey back to your real self starts. Good luck !!!
  7. I battled severe dexampetamine addiction for ten years. I felt like I was in prison and would never be let out. My addiction was especially worse the last two years before I came to the conclusion that I had three choices. 1. Pretty much be homeless with next to nothing. 2. Have a stroke/ heart attack by the time I was 34. 3. STOP IT ! I chose the third option. The thing with chemical dependency is once our body feels the drug we are addicted to WE CANNOT STOP. We may at times (very rarely) be slightly a little less destructive (maybe) but it's only a matter of time before we fuck up and run out of meds once again. This is why cold turkey is usually our only option if we are to both be honest with ourselves and also start the real journey to recovery etc. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd ever be able to stop taking them. I would take 30 dexies a day when at my worst stages. If you're reading this thinking you can't do it? I PROMISE YOU CAN. I still have a bit of a journey ahead but there is light at the end of the tunnel!! Much love and light to anyone struggling right now. This video is what made me decide I will never be able to just stick to my prescribed dose:
  8. Hi guys, I have just hit the 3 month mark after stopping my severe dexamphetamine addiction of ten years. I am very active within the fitness industry and have been even more so over the last 12 months. I train five days a week and eat clean. Despite not being as energetic in the gym over the last 3 months since quitting the meds I refused to let it stop my fitness journey! I just can't seem to maintain my desired weight. It just simply isn't possible for my weight to be due to lack of exercise or my nutrition etc. What could it be? Hormonal issues? Any possible answers would be great and if there's any supps etc especially for this situation I'd like to know about it! Currently taking l-tyrosine, B complex vitamin and a vitamin for adrenal fatigue. Cheers, Matt (Australia)
  9. Madd

    MODAFINIL

    I'm pretty much just trying to aid the 'extreme fatigue' side effect. That's the primary focus. I've been on dexamphetamine for 10 years and have been struggling especially this year with abuse and overuse etc. I am trying to get off it and will tolerate other withdrawal symptoms but am looking for a way to still be able to function physically best I possibly can etc so MODAFINIL looked like an option? Not looking to treat ADD like symptoms just the fatigue component.
  10. Hi . Just wondering if anyone has had any experience with MODAFINIL as a substitute to the addictive amphetamine type meds?? Any feedback would be great!
  11. Been on Dexamphetamine 5mg tablets for 10 years prescribed 60mg for first five years then 40mg last half. Always took way more than meant to blah blah blah. Im in Australia so we don't have Adderall. It must be very similar? Reached that point where I've woken up to the areas of my life that didn't make sense until I realised the obvious that was this shit I been taking and have to get off!! Just wondering the similarities to adderall / Dex
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