Wow @dolssa you and I are in the exact same place. My depression got so bad that I had to go back to my psychiatrist and get on an anti depressant (wellbutrin). I was so hellbent on never taking a pill again but the depression was absolutely so painful. I have been on it for about a month, I think it is working a bit.
Another thing too, my intuition is SO spot on. I ALWAYS catch 11:11 these days too, I recently accidentally ended up with these "ask angel" cards and have had so many signs to "ask my angels". like yesterday, I saw the word CHERUB 4 different times. LIKE WHAT??? It really is amazing.
With all of the synchronicities it is enough to keep me clean. I am pretty spiritual as is and I know intuitively that my soul needs to be off adderall