happyinthepresentmoment
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Posts posted by happyinthepresentmoment
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10 hours ago, sweetupbaaby said:
Thank you so much for your input. Yes, I use to be able to drink insane amounts of alcohol and never get a buzz. That's dangerous- because I was mixing uppers and downers with my liqour as well and who knows how that could have ended up. I think the biggest thing with me is that even if I were to continue using Addy my mind would be in constant conflict every single day saying "this isn't right" and that alone is enough to keep me away. That's alot of mental energy to expend and I'm big on saving my mental energy lol. What I have learned from these constant relapses is to be compassionate towards myself, so it has not been a total failure. Something has stuck with me this time I think. I do not need Adderall. I want it. But I do not need it. I am so much kinder and I listen to other people more intently without it. I am genuinally concerned for others problems when I am not medicated. Adderall makes me a cold, distant and an uninterested human. And that is no way to live. But- ONE DAY AT A TIME! I will get through today without Adderall and not worry about tomorrow!
Much love!
Hey how is your ERMP therapy going? I forgot the acronym but the one where it digs up old traumas and helps for PTSD. I remember you mentioned you were going to start it awhile back. I hope that it is helping you! I want to get it. Stay strong!
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On 7/6/2020 at 5:40 PM, sweetupbaaby said:
Welcome to the forums. I am right there along there with you...I am 64 days clean from an 80-240 mg XR daily habit and my quit date was May 3rd. I'm excited to hear about your journey to becoming free from Adderall. This is a great community to open up to and receive feedback and advice about daily problems and concerns. Make yourself comfortable.
I was addicted to opiates and benzos in my earlier years but managed to get clean through suboxone, and then eventually went off that. Between March of this year up until now, I have given up alcohol, weed, cigarettes, Adderall, and a pretty nasty cocaine habit simultaneously. (I am not trying to brag... this is just what it is. I had planned to do for a long time) I was experiencing severe psychotic manifestations from constant stimulant abuse and I dedicated myself to becoming clean from all mind-altering substances. It has been a lot of ups and downs, a lot of depressed and unbareable days, some 'ok' days and a few great days. The bad days are more prevalent than the good ones as of right now, but based on others experiences- things do get better! I try to remember that every state of mind I am in is temporary and to not attach myself to it as something permanent, because it won't be here forever. I just try to observe my thoughts, my emotions, and my mood as passing clouds...not attaching, just observing (sounds corny, but mindfulness is truly so powerful).
At times, I get these 5 second moments of hope where I think "yeah....I can really do this, everything is going to be fine" I hold on to those moments of excitement and hope, they get me by even on my worst days.
I have suffered anxiety and depression most of my teenage and adult life, I use to cope with this by using drugs and drinking excessively. Now, I force myself to work out on a daily basis, make sure to keep a consistent sleep schedule (for me it's early to bed, early to rise), keeping my eating as clean as can be and just over-all taking care of myself in every aspect. I make self-care and recovery my number one priority, every day. I struggle with anger and a hot temper, lifting weights and kick-boxing has been a lifesaver for cooling down. I empathize with getting annoyed with everything everyone does. I still feel that way and generally have no tolerance for anything that is slightly irritating to me. I'm hoping as I grow in recovery, this too will change, but I feel like this has always been my personality lol
Binge-eating was a problem for me too, until I stepped on the scale and realized I gained 30 pounds in 6 months! That's when I really started to dedicate myself to clean eating and exercise. So far I am losing weight, and nothing feels better than being fit and healthy and in shape. When it comes to losing weight- portion control and drinking water throughout the day to curb hunger would be my biggest advice! Do you know the body often mistakes thirst for hunger? A lot of the time that we think we are hungry, we are actually thirsty, so instead of snacking I started drinking water instead and there is a huge difference in the amount of food I eat now. Honestly, for me, I joined WW and it's been a Godsend for keeping me on track!
Trust me, I completely empathize with everything you're saying, just be patient and take everything day by day. Don't worry about how you will feel tomorrow, 2 weeks or in 6 months. Just focus on the day in front of you. Anything beyond that will burn you out.
Wishing you the best of luck!
God bless
Thank you so much. Great to meet you! Are you taking any medication to deal with the anxiety and depression? I was on Wellbrutrin before adderal and I am thinking of going back. It is so hard to stay sane and sober...lol. The mindfulness advice is great...I am working so hard to put that in practice. It's true some days are better than others and the crippling depression comes and goes.
That makes me feel good to know that I'm not the only know who gets annoyed easily. That was me on the adderral I'm not sure if it's my true personality or not. I am having trouble remembering who I was without the addy.
You're right about drinking water! Thanks for the reminder I just took a big sip. Kick boxing sounds like fun - I want to try that out.
God bless and am genuinely wishing you the best of luck too!
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Hi guys,
I took adderral almost every day for 4.5 years. I'm 60 days clean...hooray! My depression is crippling and my anxiety is through the roof. I am upset because I thought my anxiety would decrease with quitting adderral...not the case. I took Wellbrutrin (I believe 10 mgs) for about 9 months before I staretd on adderral. It helped me with my mood and I had no negative side effects. I just want to feel happy. How long will that take? I don't know if I can take several more months of severe depression and anxiety. Is it best to be free from all meds during the recovery process? What meds did you (or did you not take during recovery?) How long did the anxiety and depression last for you? I also am getting neurotherapy to help with my ADHD and anxiety and depression, but we are targeting the ADHD mainly.
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Hey guys,
I'm excited to join the gang here! I have been adderral free since May 8, 2020. I believe that is 59 days...wow talk about an achievement! I do not crave the adderral anymore...only one time when I was taking an exam.
However my cravings for alcohol have gone up. I am going to commit to going alcohol free for at least 30 days...I want to go longer but I am going to take it one day at a time. Has anyone given up alcohol as well as adderral? any advice? I feel like I do not have fun anymore sober. I hung out with a friend on the 4th of July and we went kayaking (sober) and I was getting so annoyed by her. She is a truly genuinely nice and supportive person but I did not enjoy her company that much. She was making comments like "The water is so blue" and talking a lot and laughing. I was getting annoyed. What is wrong with me? Why am I getting annoyed by small comments about life? Why cant I just go with the flow and relax like a normal person?
What am I supposed to do now that I do not have many close friends and have quit drinking? How do I find fun and enjoyment in my life again? How do I figure out what I even enjoy doing besides drinking?
Does it get better? I feel so alone. How do I make friends in this current enviornment? I want more support. I am not close to my family. And virtually is not the same.
Also, yesterday my coworker tested positive for covid. I was around him on Wednesday. I'm not going to get tested as it would make me even more anxious. I am going to work from home for 2 weeks. I have no motivation to work. I'm in a sales job and no one is interested in my product due to this enviornment and especially now that I am off the addy I don't have as much motivation to even work.
Also I am dealing with a lot of body shame. I went to whole foods yesterday and bought all nutritious foods yesterday. I went in with the intention of eating very nutritiously today and making eggs this morning then BAM....power went out. It lasted for about 45 minutes. I started binge eating this morning even though it was nutritious foods, I ended up eating too much. Now I am stuck in this horrific cycle of self guilt and shame. My anxiety, patience, and anger is through the roof! I tried to meditate but I couldn't. I was just way too mad. Binge eating does help me numb the pain and so does alcohol. Meditation does not help as much.
It's rough. How do you guys deal with the anxiety, depression, and anger without using alcohol or drugs?
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Alcohol
in General Discussion
Posted
Hey guys I quit Addy on May 8 2020. I stopped drinking alcohol on July 4 of this year. I am craving alcohol way more than addy. I crave alcohol so much, it is super hard. However I've really only craved addy once or twice. Major win! I'm not sure why that is...but I also still am really high strung and having difficulty stopping work or relaxing.
Has anyone else given up alcohol as well? Does giving up alcohol speed up the healing process? Do you still drink? What has your experience been with drinking and or not drinking after quitting adderral?