Losthusband

Hello it’sjustm3, I agree addiction of any kind has ruined many great things. I can say this without a shadow of doubt because I to am a addict recovering but a addict none the less. Almost 7 years sober when the Adderal really took a sweet loving personality and changed it 180 as you said. I to have questioned my sanity daily sometimes hourly trying to put pieces together and understand the personality change. It’s a extremely hard road as I am sure it was for her when I was drinking heavy. I know that any substance that is taken designed to change the mind also changes the personality, it’s a given how can it not. The silent treatment is the worse or not coming home at all some nights. I feel for you and your troubles just as I have caused trouble during my marriage it’s know it’s karma I believe. What really stinks about it is there was a time before this I fully believed we had a chance. By the way we always referred to the retirement as the rocking chair era. This is a very hard road to travel down and it takes so much patience and empathy, because somewhere I know it’s hard to see they are struggling on the inside as well. The lashing out comes from the internal conflict from within. They always say we hurt the ones we love the most, not intentionally 99% of the time. From my own experience I know it feels as though there is two people fighting inside of a person, kind of like the mind and heart are Battling. There are so many bad side effects of these psycostimulants as they call them, health wise it’s only one breakdown away from street meth. All one has to to do is look up bad side affects from long term stimulant usage. Teeth are on that list along with internal organs, hallucinations, psychosis, paranoia, etc. I carry so much guilt because there is no doubt I was no where near even a good husband at times, however I knew my issues were ones I caused. Sometimes an addict will blame others for all the problems just to divert from the real culprit. I am truly glad you found this site so many of the stories match the process, some even have the same exact phrases used. I wish you and your loved one the best. I know it’s hard and it truly takes a toll on the mind. for the record I would give my last breath to help her because I still know and see the person she once was. Thank you for your post it means a lot.

I am so sorry to hear this, the best thing in the world right now is you see this for yourself. Trust me that’s a breakthrough already. I have been in the similar situation and there are tons of information on these pshyco stimulants as they call them. Stopping cold turkey I have read is a bad thing but some have been able to do it. Do realize that this will cause a wave of emotions to start returning so fast, the ones that this stimulant actually hides while on it. Empathy, compassion, love, guilt the things that are missing from the everyday life. I too am a addict not to this medication but my addiction did exactly the same thing to me. I am so glad you are strong and recognize this. I do believe that if you tell your doctor and he is not a pill pusher he can start prescribing less of a dosage to get you off it gradually. It will take time but I believe as a person one will feel a lot better in the end. This is just my opinion right now I am in your husband’s shoes but still have so much compassion for my loved one due to the fact I understand addiction and it’s traits. I wish you and he the best, it’s rough knowing you are a totally different person but something has control over someone. This is a highly addictive medication I am sure they did not tell you that when it was prescribed. I have heard some of these exact same statements come from my lovely wife, it changed her and our marriage. The difference is we have a past due to my addiction I stopped for her 7 years ago. The stories she has are definitely occurrences but the perception of these are all manipulated not exactly reality. The way you worded everything was just so close almost verbatim to some of the conversations we have had. I even have a lot of it in text and emails. I do wish you the best of luck. There is a reason this narcotic is called Madderall. By the way we had 26 years and still spent the 27th together So thankful you found this forum. I believe you are on the highway to a better you by realization this medication has changed the personality. Many thoughts and prayers go out to you. Thank you for your post it helps more than you know to realize we are not alone and some of the behaviors did not always reside in the individual before the medicine.

This is exactly what happened with my wife. To the extent of saying I am not addicted i have not taken any extras in several weeks. She just got a higher dosage but that’s dependency. I feel for you and understand I have been accused of putting my deer stand in front of her work so I could watch her when on the medicine. Off of it for a day she is completely different loving and kind again. The only problem with that is the crash then she gets antsy and needs it. I am the devil to her now 27 yrs married yes she should have left me 100 times back in the past but I was the best version of me I had ever been for 7 years then she leaves. I am so sorry to hear this about your husband. Also I bet he acts like he is perfect, no faults. a feeling of grandiosity most likely. very good read below https://www.practicalrecovery.com/prblog/over-stimulation-the-cultural-doublethink-of-amphetamines/

Hello John H, I am so sorry to hear this. We do have similar stories, i to would do anything to get my wife off of it. She started taking it to focus even claimed the weekends we had a better marriage if she did not take it. Everything in our marriage was my fault mostly I stopped drinking 7 yrs ago and we were I love again until this came along. Due to the nature of the drug it began to cause depression when she was not on it and it vividly brings up our past. I should have seen the sign’s long before this. She only takes the prescribed amount but it’s still has a hold of her. That woman right now is not my my wife at all, my wife has a beautiful heart and soul. I love her dearly and I to am struggling knowing that if she could just lay off it for about 3 weeks she would see me differently. She don’t even communicate with me at the moment. I pray read and just try to love her as much as she will let me. I love her no matter what. This woman is everything to me we were supposed to see the rocking chairs so to speak together. I am scared to point it out because if I do she will blame me for deflecting and trying to control her. I am so sorry bud at least we know we are not crazy and they did change. This forum has been so helpful. This drug is bad I mean bad I have researched it so much and she has so many of the symptoms. Love you bud I will pray for you that’s all I have at the moment for she won’t even talk to me anymore because of our past.