quit-once

Well, I can relate to the stuttering part of your nightmare experience. I NEVER had a problem with stuttering unti I was addicted to adderall. I just couldn't figure it out why it suddenly came on. That phase of my addiction lasted about a year or two. No idea why or how. But it was anoying because I am a good speaker and it just wasn't me. I felt like I sounded like a stupid bastard. My stuttering went away before I quit. Congratulations on your decision to quit adderall. It is a bad drug and your life will improve without it. I believe that life without any drugs is the best life you can live. Some people need antidepressents but if you can get by without them it is better in the long run. You live in the South where being gay is still a bad thing regarding cultural acceptance. That is too bad, and I do not have any insight to help you deal with this issue. Please stay off the adderall. It is a very bad drug.

Good question, Krax. I am a liberal-minded, easy going, free thinker who takes a live and let live approach to other people and their lives. But I would not even consider letting somebody smoke in my house, so why am I more tollerant of the harder drugs? Because they are illegal and I don't want them being done outside where the neighbors can see or smell or hear them. MFA: It was very traumatic and I am still coming to terms with it today. Very stressful dealing with folks who are high for six hours on meth - In fact it was not an enjoyable visit. I am dealing with the emotions of seeing people I care about taking a wrong turn in life that can have a very bad outcome. I am dealing with the realization that I no longer value their company when they are high, and with meth, that will be all the time until they quit or die. I am not dealing with any sense of pride or "strong will" because I was not even tempted to partake. And thank god I am not dealing with any kind of guilt from using. I feel kind of disgusted and sorry at the same time for these people and their addictions. And I feel relieved that I don't carry that addiction baggage any more. At least on adderall these friends were predictable. But meth is a fucking monster that changes everything about those who use it, and not in a good way.

What if you were officially diagnosed as brain damaged? Would it change even one thing about your current situation? I believe my long term high intensity adderall use caused a decline in my memory, cognition, and motivation. It is the price I must pay for having fun with the drugs and using adderall well into a damaging addiction that I chose to persue. Some days are better than other days, even two years after quitting. But that is just life being life. What I got left is a useful brain, sound mind and good judgement. Not as good as it could have been without drinking, smoking, and drug use, but good enough for now. But there really is not a lot of room left for the natural mental decline that comes with an older brain. Not what you wanted to hear MFA? I am not one who enjoys sugar coatings or even sugar as an ingredient, so this may sound somewhat cynical.

Today a couple of my adderall friends stopped by. I learned that one of them had quit taking adderall back in Jan for various reasons. He had been on it for over ten years. He said the quit wasn't that bad, especially because he had a lot of experience running out of addies early between his refills. he stayed stimulant free for about two months. One of these friends is looking for a place to live and the other is kinda looking for a job. They have both aged since I saw them last fall. Right after arriving, he said they had a treat and wanted to go to the basement. I was curious but not tempted. They were disappointed I did not join them but they understood my resolve. They smoked bowl after bowl of meth in my basement with me looking on. I toked a little weed just to be sociable. they stayed for six fucking hours. Then they went and got some heroin and smoked that later on, alternating it with bowls of meth. I looked on and had another red bull. I was tollerant and understanding of their quest for getting high. It was almost amusing. I tried not to be disgusted or judgmental. But, honestly, I am mentally exhausted and not looking forward to another visit from them anytime soon. I asked him if he had an exit strategy from his newfound addiction, when that time must come. After all, he has traded adderall for a meth habit. He said no, he was "too scared to think about it right now". Earlier in the evening he said he had virtually quit his heroin habit, but later on they were smoking it up; one guy whom I had never met went into the bathroom and injected. Sorry for rambling through this, but at the moment I just feel so sorry for these friends and their addictions.

My mom ate an egg (usually with bacon) for breakfast every day and lived to be 90. It isn't about what you eat or drink but how your body handles it. And it is not good to over consume the good things.

I was just shopping in Costco today and saw the flavored red bull drinks. they have a 12 variety- pack with blueberry, lime, and a red (berry?)flavor. Unfortunately, they all contained sugar so I just bought TWO CASES of the sugar free kind. They also had those starbucks refreshers drinks you mentioned, and I have also tried them and found them to be delicious. But, they too contain sugar. I am absolutely against ANY added sugar in anything I consume.

Its funny...but I completely lost my taste for 5 hour energy last summer and have never really desired it since then. I have tried different variations of it (the dollar store kind) but there is nothing about it that keeps me going back to it. There is nothing about the taste of 5 hour energy that is desirable...in fact they have a nasty chemical flavor. Red Bull is something else. I love the way it tastes. I would like to try the blueberry flavor but never seen it yet. Not sure I can see a downside to red bull except the expense and possibly a mild addiction to the taurine and caffeine.

Well said, InRecovery. I appreciate your non-judgmental approach. My thought processes are so vastly different than when I was on adderall. My interests and priorities are also different. Not in a consistently bad or good way, just different. As a brain enhancing tool, adderall really does change the way you look at things and solve problems, until the addiction takes over. You are right, InRecovery, adderall impacted all the decisions I made for at least two years, because I was always under the influence of the drug during all my waking hours. I also did (bought) some stupid things while high on adderall as well.

FW, What happened? When you posted something a few months ago you had been off adderall for about a year if I remember right.

Wow, this is a great discussion thread. Naterdogg, you seem pretty smart for a high school kid. I agree with everything you just said. Good luck with your own plan to quit, but maybe you should graduate first since you are only a few weeks away from being done. then make quitting your top priority. Now, to answer the topic question posed b IdMcNeil: Just substitute the word "pain" for ADHD and you have the same question that many opioid users ask. Some of these drugs are highly addictive substances, but not everybody becomes addicted at the same rate. Up until a decade ago, they taught new doctors in med school that they didn't have to worry about the addiction if the pain meds (mostly opioids)were properly prescribed and used as prescribed for acute pain. The same line of thinking applied to stimulant usage and ADHD. Fuck, it has only been a couple of years since they have established and recognized the discipline of "addiction medicine". They say that people who are prescribed stimulant drugs for narcolepsy don't face the same addiction issues as the rest of us. i assume that people with severe ADD would respond to stimulant drugs in a similar way. But they still become addicted and face withdrawl issues, right?

I am starting to get concerned about my red bull habit too. I buy it by the case at Cosco, the sugar free kind. the total zero flavor really sucks. I have become a daily user of it. I like to slam a red bull mid-afternoon, or after getting off work , or mix redbull with grapefruit juice and vodka into a drink I call the Grey Bull (a greyhound +) - it is both delicious and nutritious. Any way, I am going through a case of regular sized cans every 2-3 weeks, is that excessive?

Would you like to share any of the gory details with us, or was it just a standard relapse?

Yesterday was a nice warm spring day and I had a lot of yard work planned because the entire month of April has been cold and wet around here and the snow just finally melted for good. I have several yard projects I have been itching to get started on. I also had some supply shopping to get done on my day off. Anyway, the phone rang before 9 AM and it was a friend from another town. They (married friends) wanted to come and visit me. We usually have long visits and sometimes they stay overnight. I told her I was working in my yard but I would love to see them too, so "come on by". So they arrived about noon, we drank a beer or two, went out to dinner and they left after that. These are friends whom I have known for over 20 years. Never an adderall connection with this friendship. But I can't tell you how many times they had called while I was tweaking and I would either 1) not answer the phone because I wasn't "taking calls that day" 2) answer the phone but lie about what I was doing 3) delay returning their calls until much later 4) act weird and busy when they showed up unnanounced Essentially, I was dissing my friends and sometimes my family because I was too goddamn "busy doing projects" on adderall. Couldn't be bothered with a social visit, and the thought of giving up a half day of busy work for anything was unsettling. Couldn't spend too much time just talking on the phone, either. I am glad that my friends and other people in my life can be forgiving of my selfish behavior regarding social time. I thoroughly enjoyed our visit yesterday and still managed to get most of my shit done. This "normal" balance of friends, work and life was simply not possible in the later stages of my adderall addiction, and I am grateful it is forever behind me. I would like to wish everybody who has read this post a happy and friendly Spring!

Heather, your little kid can't afford to have both his parents locked up. So the red-flagging by the state was not enough to keep you off the addies. I hope that near miss at the supermarket was enough to make you say "no more".....was it? Have you told your "friends" whose scripts you were skimming that you are done, once and for all, and they must never offer you another pill. no matter what?

One more reason to quit adderall: There is an article in the NYT Health Section about the relationship between resting heart rate and death. Somebody with a resting heart rate of 90 bpm is three times more likely to die (from any cause) that somebody with a heart rate of 50 bpm My resting heart rate on adderall was 110-120 bpm. My resting heart rate after adderall returned to 50-60 bpm I would like to think I have cheated death by quitting adderall before causing permanent heart damage. Maybe I have also prevented a stroke. Or Parkinsons Disease. Or kidney/liver problems. Or baldness or fatness or GERD, or psychosis or failure. I have no regrets for using it and certainly no regrets for quitting it.

good job, Ashley. My self-confidence has also gradually returned and my paranoia has declined too. I can't believe how hung up I became on "privacy" stuff. It makes me realize how mentally unstable I had become as an addict. What is the "one class" you need to finish, and when can you graduate?

Recovery is a unique and a complex process. Everybody recovers from different things at different rates, (or not). It does not matter whether somebody is recovering from an illness, accident, injury, death of a loved one or an addiction(s). Some people make a rapid recovery. Some people make a miraclelous recovery. Some people take a long, long time to recover, and some people never fully recover from different things. Some people are never the same. It just depends on the person and how damaged they had become. It also depends on the circumstances of their recovery and what they are trying to recover from. Adderall, alcohol, accident or ass-kicking - recovery is what it is.

did you just tear up your script? have you tried putting it back together? shredding and especially burning are more effective and satisfying ways of destroying things.

hhmmm. Come to think of it, I have been going to bed earlier that I usually do since i started taking them. I feel like such a pussy going to bed before ten oclock. Even though I don't like mornings, I am up and around by six most days. I take either one or one and a half grams all at once. 4-5 days per week. I Didn't take it today and I have had plenty of natural energy and motivation all day long.

I just bought another bottle of Host Defense brand Lions Mane at Whole foods today. I wasn't going to, but yes, they are that good. I would like to try another brand but they are kind of hard to find. What dosages are you guys taking?

Heather, Thanks for reminding us all about that insidious and nasty addiction which comes from a BEAST called adderall or any other kind of speed. Thanks for having the courage to share your relapse-hell experiences with us. With enough practice, I know you will eventually overcome this addiction. Just don't make it any more painful on yourself than it has to be.

did you take the tyrosine on a very empty stomach?

I will vote the the "caught, not taught" line of thought. But I would also not agree that leadership is an art. It is something you are born with. The right circumstances can make anybody born with inate leadership skills and abilities (i.e. the "alpha") into a great leader. Otherwise, the Peter Principle takes over and people just rise to their own level of incompetence before they stall out or fall.

It has been a year since I created this post. Adderall agrevated my condition of face blindness but my ability to recognize faces did somewhat improve after I quit. It is something I have always struggled with. Everything I have read in the medical literature says it is something one must simply learn to live with and there really is no known treatment for the condition. I have been taking the lions mane mushroom supplement for about three weeks now. Recently, I have started to better recognize the faces of people i have met and interact with! I noticed it in Wal Mart last weekend. And just today, somebody addressed me by name (in passing) and I remembered who they were - not instantly, but shortly after I said hello. I am so lucky to have heard about this supplement from this web site - it really is a game changer for me and my social interactions that rely on recognizing those people who I have met and should know who they are.

My phone does not text and neither do I and I do live in remote wyoming and I feel really stupid for asking this.....but what does IMHO mean?