quit-once

How long has it been since you quit? Let him know that you still value the friendship but it would really piss you off if he EVER offered you a pill. If your friendship is based mostly on doing adderall (addie buddies) you will likely find that there is not much else in common. And the friendship will end. If it is a friendship with more in common than tweaking together, it will survive you quitting and him using. Either way, you will likely want to spend less time together until you have recovered from quitting.

Holy Shit!!! You were truly living in an adderall hell. Some of those side effects you listed I have never heard of from any drug. And I have no doubt that adderall was the culprit because I believe it can be incredibly toxic when taken at abusive doses. I haven't known anybody who has gone to the hospital for side affects / overdose symptoms. I am surprised they didn't cut you off, but then I also know if there is a will there is a way to get your hands on more pills. I have a friend who still takes adderall and he has had skin problems - hives and also these strange localized skin infections - that he can't seem to get rid of. But he does not want to believe it is caused by the adderall. I keep reminding him about the crankbug infestations that afflict most dedicated meth heads. I can share some of your side effects you experienced: 1) the sudden jerks or movements right before falling asleep 2) blurry vision, especially later in the evening 3) the intense anxiety and lack of self confidence like I knew that I was fucking up everything I touched 4) the pills also took care of most of my alllergies, except when I had an adderall allergic reaction in my sinuses. It only happened when I toook too much, and maybe that one thing kept me from being a hyper-abuser. It would begin with uncontrolable sneezing that would last for maybe a half hour to an hour. Then my nose would start to run a steady stream for several hours and there was no way to stop it. Sometimes the nose thing would last into the next day. Than there were the tears of fire. My eyes would start to run like my nose did, and the tears must have had a pH imbalance because they just burned my eyeballs and the only way to relieve the pain was to keep my eyes closed. It happened one time when I was driving and I had to close one eye at a time just to make it home. The allergy thing only happened when I would take over 120 mg in a day so that may be what kept me from hyper-abusing on a regular basis. I never had blood pressure issues but I was really surprised what it did to heart rate. My normal pulse rate while abusing adderall was between 110 and 120 beats per minute. It is exactly half of that now. That was one of my big factors for quitting. It is like driving a car in third gear all of the time when you have a five speed transmission. Eventually, and sooner than later, you will blow the motor or the tranny if you keep running the vehicle at high RPMs. I still need my heart and my brain to work well for several more years, and I can do without a heart attack or a stroke. How is it that addiction can blind a person to forego all common sense solutions to their health problems (i.e.quitting) just so they can further pursue their addiction? I assume it is that way with any addictive substance, not just adderall. In fact, I have also experienced it with tobacco. I have a lot of thoughts about quitting adderall, but unless those thoughts are spoken and/or written, they won't stay with me long enough to make a permanant change. This forum is about the only way I know of to express those thoughts to others whom it matters and it can potentially make a difference in somebody's life. A lot more bang for the buck than paying a shrink to listen and nod their head.

Dear Manic, You should give yourself at least three days of not having to leave the house and not doing a goddam thing. You won't feel like getting out of bed or off the couch. It will be like having the flu for a few days. I was functional enough to go to work by day four. After that, I began that long climb up the gradual slope to normalcy - and that could take a year or longer from what I've been able to learn around here. I think the recovery period is directly proportional to the amount of speed you did and for how long. If you were only on dexies for six months, I predict you will bounce back pretty quick. Take some time to plan your quit and give yourself enough time to recover. You only get one chance to quit once so don't screw it up.

Chantix diminished your adderall high? That is really interesting - because I started chantix about a week after quitting adderall. I took it for five weeks and I was glad to get off it too. It was really hard on the stomach and it gave me that feeling like when you smoke that first cigg after you have quit for a while and you get that nauseating feeling from your stomach along with diziness. Speaking of smoking... it took me about two months after adderall before I started to be able to enjoy a good buzz from smoking pot again. It is nice to have something to smoke... and be able to enjoy it again in moderation. I still miss smoking a cigarette but I sure don't miss that awful stinky habit. And you can't have one without the other, just like you can't take even one addie pill without the addiction coming back. That is the universal truth about addiction that I had such a hard time accepting. All those times I quit smoking ciggs were just practice for getting it right when quitting adderall. You only get one chance to Quit Once. I have been pretty lucky not to have lingering physical withdrawl symptoms. Sounds like headaches and muscles getting tense are your biggest issues, and then only when you study. Did you have any physical discomfort wile abusing adderall? I made a list of that too before I quit and it had everything from bad eyesight, severe muscle and joint pains to spasms and allergies. Taking adderall made me feel old. Maybe that's cause I am kind of old at 48. But I feel ten years younger now I don't take adderall. Just wondering if it affects different poeple differently at different ages.

Sit around and smoke. take another smoke break. one more cig before I do this. lets have one more smoke before you leave... That is what seemed to consume most of my time during the last couple of years on adderall. Hell, I was even lighting my first smoke in the morning BEFORE the coffee was even made. Now that only 1 in 5 people smoke I didn't feel comfortable smoking in public anymore, although I was a very militant smoker to the end, and I smoked in many places just because it was allowed. I took Chantix for about five weeks and that cured me. I tried to quit smoking AND adderall at exactly the same time. I don't recommend that combo. I went on Chantix about the same time I quit adderall; started smoking again, then quit smoking for good about a month after quitting adderall. I wonder if the Chantix somewhat lessened the pain of quitting adderall? I used to have nightmares about finding a stash of adderall and the dilema of how to handle it. I too found a pill about a month after I quit and I handled it exactly like it was a dead, stinky mouse. I was even worried I might absorb some of it through my skin so I used gloves to handle it. It seems like those little pills have an energy field all of their own. I, too, am terrified of returning to that awful addiction, so if I ever find another wayward pill, I will drown it, crush it, or flush it within seconds.

Freedom and InRecovery: I have to disagree with both of you about a blanket ban on adderall. It is already up-scheduled and tightly controled by the FDA. If you banned all legal stimulants then the meth problem would be even worse that it already is. No, it should never be sold in C-stores like ciggarettes, but I believe there are some folks who need this drug for severe ADD or narcolepsy. Some kind of objective (chemical?) test is needed to determine those who truley need to take stimulants. I believe there are many meth addicts who are actually self-medicating for ADD. They are just not connected to this wonderful medical system of crooked doctor drug pushers, even more crooked pharmaceutical companies and their political ilk, and the all powerful and most crooked insurance industry and their ilk. When I started taking this drug, I thought it was the safest and most progressive way to get clean, good, and fun drugs. Hell, you are under the care of a doctor, right? Surely any good doctor would oversee your course of treatment, and discontinue it if the side affects got too bad. And since you have to see the doctor at least a couple of times per year, surely they would be able to tell if the drug was doing you more harm than good, right? And when it comes time to get off the shit, surely a medical doctor would know how to get you off of it safely and painlessly - I was sure they had a magic tool kit (another pill?) to get you unhooked. Not so. In fact, it is not in THEIR best interest to see you quit because of all the extra business they pick up when the nasty side affects of adderall abuse start to kick in.

InRecovery, Gotta agree with you 100% when you said even if you have done nothing else but not take adderall for the last 10.5 months it is the best investment you can make into your future. I feel exactly the same way about this summer - even if I have done nothing else but get away from addies and ciggies it has been a huge success. And its not like I have been on the couch either. Interesting how you tense up when you study without adderall. I know that shoulder and neck stiffness you are describing - it is like entire muscles stiffen up in your back. neck and especially the shoulders. Try to capture some of the more positive feelings and waves of energy you used to associate with studying while tweaking using caffeine or five hour energy or red bull...then consider this: you will probably remember at least 50% more of what you are studying now that you are not burning neurons with adderall. So the time you actually spend studying will be much more efficient. I too have a list that I made in the weeks before quitting. It is titled "what they don't do". I put that list in my Cease and Recovery folder along with some other reference material that I thought would help me stay quit. I haven't needed to read it so far... I'll share that list with you sometime soon. Month four marked a significant return of my motivation and my inner go is comming back strong! I hope it keeps up. The 5-10 lbs of extra body weight doesn't bother me too bad but it sure would be nice to be trim again. When did you start to shed your extra lbs?? later- Quit-once

Want2bmeagain: Certainly month four is better than month one. In fact it was around that one month time that I really lamented my (temporary) loss of productivity and motivation. In my case, I quit smoking about a month after quitting adderall, so I also had that baggage to deal with. As far as having meaningful and intelligent conversations, it was a little bit tough during the first month. As one person who posted on this website put it: if you didn't have ADD before taking adderall you will sure as hell will have it after you quit. At about three weeks, I went to a staff meeting/training and my inattentiveness, figiting, and daydreaming were more than obvious to me but nobody called me on it. I never had ADD before... Your concerns about maintaining a train of thought through the entire conversation remind me of when I was on two addies at once. and I would make the conversations a short as possible so they wouldn't think I was high when I lost my train. Smoking pot does the same thing to my brain regarding memory and conversations, but at least that high is fleeting and fun. Don't worry about your cognition- it WILL come back. Just from your two postings I can tell there is absolutly nothing wrong with your thought process! Try taking daily fish oil to get your brain back to its normal operating self. I also took daily doses of the amino acid tyrosine and still do occaisonally for a better mood. Some other differences betweeen month one and month four from my perspective: I was still taking daily power naps at 30 days and now....not so much. I lacked the motivation to start any kind of a project at 30 days, but my motivation started to return about a month ago. Last week, I helped a friend process his antelope until 2:30 AM! At 30 days, I could NOT stay up past 10 or 11. When abusing addies I used to go to bed all the time after midnight and I HATED the mornings. Funny thing here- I have never been a morning person even before adderall. But since quitting, I have been waking up around 6AM. I feel really good in the mornings now and actually enjoy them. Not sure if that willl last but I don't mind it - I just wish I could stay up later because I still run out of gas around 9 or 10 PM. Once you notice your old normal self returning it gives you even more motivation to stay quit. It doesn't all come back at once and I am giving it a full year or longer to return. InRecovery- I'll have to come back and edit this or make a new post to respond to you as I have eaten my time cookie this morning. There are a couple of things you said I want to grab onto and discuss, especially that last paragraph about the FREEDOM from addiction. That is a huge benefit that didn't make it onto the list of "the benefits of quitting adderall" article posted in the articles section of this great web site. For some reason I could not get the spell check to work so please excuse the errors. later- quit-once

want2bemeagain- The success stories of posters on this site and especially in this discussion thread have really helped me too. This is the only web site or ADD-related forum where it is common to read postings from people who have been off adderall longer than a few days and there are many of them for months and years. I have only read a fraction of them so far. I can't fully understand why reading and posting on this forum seems so very necessary in my recovery process. I feel like I really need to write up my own addie story and post it as a new topic in this forum as part of my entire recovery. Actually I have been reading and learning from these and other forums since I began to plan my quit around the first of this year. But I have only felt the need to join as a member and post replies for the last month or so. I'm closing in on four months now. The one thing that has been most helpful has been reading the experiences of those who have relapsed and continue to struggle with giving it up for good. Before I quit I realized this would be one of the toughest challenges I have ever faced and I didn't want to screw it up. Failure to stay quit will mean my best efforts have failed and that I need outside help. You only get one chance to quit once. I finally accepted that I can never have another adderall pill or any other hardcore stimulant for the rest of my life....without acknowledging the impending return of that unhealthful and unsustainable adderall addiction.

InRecovery- I used to make a list a day then see how fast I could get everything done and crossed off so I could make another list and get more things done. I don't think I have made three lists all summer and they all have things on them that are still incomplete. Your inability to get off the couch may be due to depression. Sometimes you can be depressed and not recognize the symptoms or feel "depressed". The Great Depression was so-named because people were generally depressed. They were depressed because they were broke and couldn't find jobs. So my advice to you is to go find a job - any job - even a bullshit job like flipping burgers or bagging groceries. It doesn't have to be a career job. Another suggestion would be to volunteer with an organization or somebody in need of your assistance. I have found if you give your time and personal energy to a person or group who really needs and appreciates it, good things can happen. It helps you appreciate what you have - whether it is physical things, personal relationships, enough money or good health and an able body. And being grateful is the universal key to a happy existance.

To both inrecovery and sboo, I can really relate to your discussion threads. So far I have this in common with both of you: long term abuse, the chore of maintaining a sufficient supply, quit smoking and quit adderall about the same time - I am saving at least $500 a month not smoking or taking adderall. And I love the phrase re-built. I am not there yet but it is good to see how long it might take to regain normalcy. The only long term physical withdrawl symptom that still persists with me is that my tongue will tense up or have spasms. I have not been highly motivated to do anything new this summer or be as active as I would like. Can't seem to shed those five extra pounds from quitting addies and smoking no matter how good my eating habbits are. I seem to have forgotten how to drink water or keep hydrated. I just completed month three post-addie. My approach has been: quit addies, quit ciggies, and minimize my sugar intake; while developing and expanding my summer hobbies, eating good food, and keeping physically active. My two biggest challenges have been avoiding sugar and keeping active. I am definately done with addies but not as certain about the ciggies. Maybe I have more experience as a smoker - 30+ years and only ten years on adderall. I just read sboo's last sentence - so great to be free - and I couldnt agree more. Thanks for posting.

I'm not sure I know how to navigate the forums or post responses but I am learning. Am I editing somebody lses response? Anyway, I am hopeful after seeing this post from soobee that I will also feel rebuilt after a year. i am only three months into the quit and it has not been a very productive summer.

Hey tinybuddha- I started taking tyrosine the day before I quit adderall and have been taking it now for almost three months. It comes in 500 or 1000 mg doses. I started with the 500 mg doses taken 3-4 times per day. The 1000's work well too (I get a euphoric buzz when I take a 1,000 mg pill), but I like spreading it out over the day - it is more even that way. Tyrosine is a wonderful mood stabilizer or even a mood elevator. It keeps that horrible post-adderall depression from coming on. No tolerance so far. No neg side affects or withdrawl. Take it on empty. Buy good quality like GNC brand. It is the precursor amino acid to phenylananine, which itself is a building block of seratonin.

I couldn't have done it without the supps. A good multivitamin, triple strength fish oil, and most importantly, L-Tyrosine 1500-3000 mg per day. Also, Red Bull, 5-hour energy, coffee and iced tea all at once or on alternating days. Whatever it takes to stay off them. About 80 days so far with no cravings.