Greg

I just woke up from a nap. wrote 7 and half page paper late into the night then woke up for work at 7am for job, followed by classes in afternoon. I have so much work to do but i think im going back to zzzzz. When i woke up from nap today I felt like i was in some combination of on adderall and withdrawing from adderall..it was really weird. it is my brains reaction to an abrupt change in lifestyle.

I WILL get my stats take home exam done tomorrow..

Just ran 1.7 miles!! Who knew? I CAN run without adderall!!!

Got through my first work experience post quitting adderall, an internship..and got great recommendations, my judgement and energy levels were so much better. Less preoccupied with myself, more preoccupied with the job.

2 years and 1 month since I quit and am living so much better off adderall..

Now that I quit, I feel like I have a totally different brain, like a lobotomy or something. I know that sounds extreme. But I feel like such a different person. Most notably, I am not an anxious, panicky person anymore. A complete 180. Now that I'm calmer, I realize how anxious the pills were making me...

I was such a complete mess. The pills had destroyed me. By the end, I was so addicted. Didn't know what to do. Just didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted the world to end. I just layed on the floor and cried off and on for two days straight without moving from my spot on the floor. I was so unhappy about this existence. And I couldn't find my pills.. But I didn't have the energy to move to even look for them. This is when I reached m...

I remember my mom used to try to control my pill intake, and she would hide the pills and give me only what I needed for that day. But when she wasn't there, I'd rip apart the house looking for the pills. By the end, I was so addicted, my mind was such a mess, I couldn't even keep track of where I put my pill bottle. I remember my last day on adderall, I was lying on the floor screaming and crying. i just layed there on the floor for hours and hours. I couldn't find my pills. ...

One doctor accused me of making up stories to get pills. Another asked me what the heck I was doing with all my pills? I was always juggling doctors trying to make sure they didn't talk to each other or know about each other. One doctor found out and called an ambulance directly to the office during my scheduled appointment, hauling me off to the hospital under observation. These doctors always found out what I was doing in the end. Then I would begin my search again. Plotting ways to get...

I used to change the dates on my adderall prescriptions so I could get my pills one week or two weeks early...I remember a couple pharmacies figured it out and turned me away. One pharmacy found out what I was doing and called my doctor, then tore up my prescription and told me never to come back. One nurse practioner accused me of abusing my prescription because I was so desperate for my refill. I became so good at lying to everyine. Several of my prescribing doctors caught on to what I was ...

I feel like adderall gave me agoraphobia - the fear of everything. Because without adderall I was afraid of doing everything....At first I only needed it to study in college. Then suddenly, I needed it to get more absorbed in the movies I watched and the books I read. Before long, I needed it to do everything... hang out with friends, you name it.. At some point, i started needing that feeling, that burst of dopamine in my brain to exist...

I reached for adderall to relieve myself from withdrawal anxiety...but taking more and more adderall only made me more anxious and panicky...it happened all day long in a vicious cycle until I had so much adderall in my system I went into toxic adderall psychosis and becoming delusional...and yet I never blamed the drug for my lifestyle. I blamed everything else. But never adderall. What a life for an addict.

I remember i being attacked by spurts of panic throughout they day as the adderall wore off..then reaching for my pill bottle to calm myself...what a nightmare living everyday like that. Then panicing when I ran out WAY too early..Creatively pondering ways to get more early

I still can't believe how much of a crutch adderall was for me...it's unbelievable how helpless I was all the time without it

Feel the fear and do it anyway...That's my motto on doing things I used to rely heavily on adderall to do...which was pretty much everything

I remember when I was starting to get addicted...about 12 years ago..I got worried..and scoured the internet. There was nothing on adderall addiction. Now, if you google adderall addiction you will find an infinite number of forum threads...I wish I knew then what I know now..

Me too. I'm mad I ever got started. My doctor swore it was the safest medication on the planet. He boasted about taking it himself and using it to fix his dvd player or whatever...

It gets SO much better. The first time O quit, I didn't have faith it would get better. So I relapsed. If I just hung in there longer, I wouldve seen what everybody was telling me was true- it gets better.

It gets SO much better. The first time O quit, I didn't have faith it would get better. So I relapsed. If I just hung in there longer, I wouldve seen what everybody was telling me was true- it gets better.

I know I'm getting a lot stronger within though...on adderall, it felt like my life was hanging by a thread, lying on a foundation about to crumble. Everything revolved around the pill. If at anytime I got busted for getting multiple prescriptions for the same pills, and my supply was cut short, my life would just fall apart. At the end, I was just taking the pills to prevent an onset of fatigue that would come with withdrawal. How pointless. it now seems.

Sometimes I feel really good, like really, really, really good...then all of a sudden it's like I'm in withdrawal hell...It seems like I'm coming up for air from this past week - a truly rough week

For me, the mental withdrawal is like a perpetual state of being 'so damn busy being off of adderall.'...

It's been 14 months of being sober, and I just hit a super rough batch of cravings. I hate the much longer mental withdrawal from adderall that comes after the shorter physical withdrawal...

I hated lying and deceving doctors all the time. I felt like a con artist, always duping doctors into writing me prescriptions. Always worrying about getting my pills filled.

hang in there... it gets better...