ally
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Posts posted by ally
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I always have this feeling :/
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Ally how are you doing now? I understand where you are coming from about taking high doses of the Adderall and now achieving your desired effect. I came off of a 90-270mg per day x 2 years. It sounds very high to a lot of people, and it did cause all of the shitty side effects without the positive ones. I was prescribed 90mg per days but I usually ended up taking more than that. I had to quit cold turkey. The step down method never worked for me. I would always end up taking "just one more." That usually ended up being 5-6 more of the 30mg IR. Yes those sickly sweet tasting 'Orange Devils." Towards the end, I could barely swallow those without gagging. I think my body was rejecting them but my mind still wanted them. I hope you are doing good still.
Sounds exctly how I felt! I was doin the same mgs as u a day, it doesn't seem like to many people hit that high. do u think it makes it even harder for us? How far r u now? I relapsed a couple more times after coming on here, of course when the prescription was up...luckily the last 3 relapses, were never more that 1-3 pills though, so it had gotten a lot better. I am 45 days without Adderall today. but within the 45 days, I have not been able to go straioght sober it feels like I am always needing a valium, some vicodin when I can get it, smoking weed daily, which are things I never used to do. Im not effed up daily its a reasonable amount, nothing like Adderall!!!! its just I feel like I need a new habit and im so used to going to pills. I know its bad but im tryingggg. Oh and within the 45 days I also tried Ritalin once. So I don't know if I can even consider myself 45 days sober from Adderall, can I? IDK, how r u feeling?
That goes for everyone else on here, HOW ARE U FEELING RECENTLY AND WHATS UR STATUS?
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I am 45 days now. going through hell and so many emotions. A lot of me does not want to leave my shell, but I feel that meeting up with others who understand it best would be good for me. I just need to take the leap. Im sure ill be happy I did it. Im in the Rockford area about an hour from Chicago.
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I think the hardest thing for me, is my spouse is not sharing the happiness of me quitting. He has wanted me to quit forever, but doesn't seem to show appreciation like i'd expect. Idk, Ive gotten the furthest I have ever gotten without Adderall, but it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would.
Idk, I just think no one else has any idea what im going through, or how I feel, sometimes I don't even know how I feel myself. So how is anyone else supposed to relate? it just feels like a constant thing weighing me down.
I am so short tempered and irritable. sometimes I feel sooo bad for being snappy at my 3 yr old cuz shes the one im with the most, and she doesn't know y I am like I am right now. everything just feels depressing
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hey I miss chatting with you all, this group of people were my first real adderallics I talked to to get through my attempt to quit. I could really use some support from u guys again, feeling pretty damn down lately and even real shitty about recovery. If u get a chance and can give me any advice please read into my newest forum I made yesterday when returning to the site. its under HELP..IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE.
I hope to hear from some of u again, I need this site, its really all I have to go to for any kind of out. thanks
Hope u all are doing well
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Thanks everyone, I will definatly look into the 30 day challenge. I have to be honest though, I am under an unusual amount of stress right now in life, as I try to get by, the beginning of my quitting always includes a drink here n there, smoking weed, or taking a valium if my mind is going crazy. Basically using another substance to calm down. I know this is not good but in the past, ive talked about this in other forums and a lot of people agree, that if I know its not my norm or what I am truly addicted too, its ok as a crutch for now.
During one of my fails a few months bnack I hurt my knee and started using narcotics for pain ( I HAVE ALWAYS HATED NARCOTICS THEY HURT MY HEAD, COULD NEVER STAND THEM). but it was popping a pill something I was accustom to; which led me to wanting more of something I used to despise and beileiving it gave me energy and what not. So anyway, point being I know that was stupid, so im coming clean off that now as well. going to limit rarely the drinking and smoking. I am on wellbutrin. I am just having a hard time with depression its been a rough year. Anyone have any thoughts on this??
Today I am 40 days clean from Adderall (my true addiction, and thing I crave) but I want opinions....I had a slip today, and tried a 20 mg Ritalin today,coffe wasn't doin it, my neighbor and I took it. But this is something I never used to take in the past or liked, had a problem with, I tried it once years ago, but it didn't compare to be like Adderall at all to me.
POINT IM GETTING TO...since its it the same class of drugs as Adderall, did I fail? Did I break my quitting cycle? It wasn't Adderall, but I feel guilty, it was so nice hitting 40 days, furthest yet.
What do u guys think???
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Ok. So I think what I need, is an email buddy or someone that is also around the same quitting time as me, to talk to.
I don't want to bore everyone with my stories, its the same as im sure many others on here, I thought I was on top of the world when I got to day 26 in the past. longest i'd been clean in 7 years -1 year of pregnancy. so 26 days was the furthest. I AM NOW ON DAY 36. But I don't even feel as good as I did with day 26 the fist time. I think I just feel so guilty about relapsing even if it were 1 or 2 pills, for the past 4 months. And of course throughout the years I have gone through the big times trying to quit here and there, obviously it never worked, I always went back, and was too cowardly to even come back to this site.
But 4 months ago, I realized I was done, and I had to be done, I crave to be done, I know that's what I truly want. Im tired of watching my life flash by. Ive been through this stuggle for too long now. why does it have to take so long? why would even one pill make me feel so much better for just one day and its that easy?
Is everyone else's progress around the same as mine? is this normal? These ups and downs are crazy and idk if its from no Adderall, my depression, or depression meds. I study psychology so I know about anti depressants and teatmeants and so on....
But im not looking for a text book answer, I'm looking for a real person going through the same real thing I am right now or who could relate. DAY 36.
I cant believe I haven't been on this site in around 3 months, it was my favorite thing to look forward to everyday, everyone who I have talked to was great and so helpful, made me feel better. I just backed out. And im sorry. Not only is quitting the problem, its other life factors that are big struggles happening all at the same time while still trying to be a young mom and get up everyday.
(it sounds so pathetic that I cant even get up, but its getting better)
NEED SOME CHEERING UP I GUESS :/
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Hey Tom, or if any one else still goes on here, in the Chicago area, desperately in need of someone to talk to about this stuff. Its like no other drug when ur truly addicted, so I get what ur sayin there Tom. Let me know guys, thanks
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DAY 9, NOT SO FINE! cravings came back badly, slept in til 2, idk what happened. I feel like shit an useless again.
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Those sound like awful experiences! Id say sueing just may be the right action to take in ur case MFA....
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Also, ive read in past posts, a bit about using crutches to get off my addiction to Adderall, I feel it helps me to take a little bit of valium, that's what I did the last 2 days and I thought id nap from that especially but ive actually felt a bit calmer and didn't even need a nap from my racing head to calm down! normally I hate taking valium, I hate smoking weed, and im a special occasion drinker; I am not afraid whatsoever to being addicted to any of these substances. my love and high I crave is strictly stimulants, preferably Adderall. I get anxiety even typing it right now how I feel a part of me is missing that the better part of me is missingor I will be missing it.But I know Im never gonna get that high I crave from it again anyway. I am working through it. So is it really so bad to temporarily crutch on a little bit of a benzo to calm down the itches for Adderall? or have a beer at night? or an occasional hit of weed? I feel that its not, I have no true desire for any of those things never have, and don't even care for them that much now, it just helps a bit. Ive read some peoples mixed emotions of this. But I am confident that these things are ok for me right now, they are all apart of laying around trying not to go crazy, just wanting to stay away from the one thing I want/ don't want the most.
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im weaning off of avg 120 mg a day. I needed at least 90mg to feel anything, prefereably of the xrs crushed up (I felt it was double the strength of irs. with 120+90 10 mg tabs of Dexedrine a month. this was on and off id run out of course. back when I took it daily it was weaning off of 90 a day everyday steadily. those days I followed the 90 directions I did sleep, or else id go on at minimum 2 day binges to stay up so id have time to take care of my house pets have fun with my daughter or work during the day, study and clean at night; it was a cycle that came into play often. a binge of working because I have felt that the couple days I hadn't taken my Adderall I was worthless and I needed to make up for that time lost that I wasn't on it. So my comedown has been hard, I cried more the weak I was weaning down I think, which was 2 weeks ago. the 8 days sober now completely, I am finally starting to feel better and see things brighter, and not sleep ALL DAY, just around 10 hrs a day, usually a nap too. but im already loving the feeling of my count of days being sober going up-it just brings a smile to my face
as long as I have voids to fill in my boredom (MAINLY THIS SITE) I feel better. -
my dr was the SAME EXACT way. it does not mean its not a big deal, it means that dr is obviously not specialec in add or prescribing meds for it. Start by tellings her that what u want is to be weaned off of them because u do not want to take them anymore. give her whatever reason ud like just tell her u want off. ur dosages will be lowered ull get used to that (ur better off not even getting them or get them slowly but dump out half immediately, wean urself off if its what it takes) Just MAKE IT CLEAR TO UR DR U WANT OFF THEM, and that's ur final decision. and don't go to a new dr after for more.... u don't need a dr to even prescribe them just don't go back if that's what it takes. I recently went through this, just get ur doc on board and start getting used to a bit of hell. So far after the only advice I can HONESTLY give in my short time away from it, is once u get passed day 4-5, don't even go back. I already am seeing a tid bit of a difference on day 7, just hoping for next day to get better or accept the hell.
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I LOVE YOUR ADVICE!!!! THANKScongratulations on getting rid of your prescription. That was the right thing to do, i know everyone here is applauding you for that.
As for your last 15 mgs..Well..you can go ahead and take it now, but that would mean resetting the recovery clock! You got 6 days of clean time. Why lose that?
What is one pill going to do for you anyway? Its not like you can binge on one pill -- You're body needs a lot more to get any kind of effect.
I would just flush it, honestly, because if you keep it around.. what's the point of having it later down the road when you are longer into your quit. imagine If you take it after a few months of quitting? you will feel guilty and horrible about it...why bother having that in your way..?
AS for effexor, personally I like it but there are people on this website who have been on it and dont like it. Also, if you try to stop it there are bad withdrawals. Not like adderall withdrawal in any way, but it stinks. A lot of people have tried wellbutrin, and other antidepressants. As for supplements - I think a lot of people here like l tyrosine when they first quit. And then after a couple of months they stop. L-tyrosine is a precurser to the chemical in our brain that turns into dopamine..basically it allows your body to more easily produce dopamine naturally.
I think the best supplement is what you mentioned in the other post - binge watch family guy. It will be a great distraction for you. Hang in there, you are doing good.
Oh, one thing i would do which ive mentioned here before, is start reading a list of how adderall messed up your life...and keep it on hand to read and re-read when you start to feel tempted. It comes in handly. I must have read my list hundreds of times.
Here are 30 things from my list - my list is ten times longer than this - because every time i thought of something i would add to it. Anyway, I strongly recommend you write your own list to read over and over again to yourself. I cant tell you how much this tactic has helped me in my recovery.
Benefits of quitting adderall
1. For the first time in a long time, I am happily sober and surrounded by sober people
2. I'm no longer jumpy at everything and paranoid
3. Im no longer foolishly captivated by time wasting projects
4. I no longer have to lie and decieve my way in order to keep my existence going...and worry about getting caught
5. I no longer fixate and become obsessed and stupidly excited about something that is not even interesting.
6. There is no longer a pill that has total control over me
7. No longer overtired, nothing in the stomach and jittery
8. I no longer lose track of time with nothing to show for it
9. I am no longer taking something that is damaging to my brain and my mind
10. I no longer spend my days waiting and thinking about a refill
11. I no longer have to agonize over postponing my next dose.
12. No longer preoccupied with feeling good before doing anything else
13. I no longer have emotional highs and then lows as it wears on and off. Im more even and emotionally stable.
14. I no longer feel extremely guilty that I cannot control or moderate my pills
15. I am getting my health back
16. My life is no longer resting on a paper thin foundation!
17. I no longer feel embarassed about what I may have said, done or behaved in my addictive state
18. My heart no longer beats really fast from speed
19. I no longer feel totally exhausted when i run out until my next refill
20 I feel stronger inside, have a sense of pride from accomplishments
21. My cognition i no longer deteriorating
22. No more frenzied, breakless, meaningless activity that goes on for days.
23. No more of that vicious cycle of taking adderall, smoke a cigarette, taking more adderall, smoke another cigarette vicious cycle.
24. No longer completely out of my mind from amphetamine induced psychosis ****this should be my number one.
25. I no longer use adderall to relieve the misery that adderall is creating
26.. no longer pumped up on artificial feelings of self worth.
27. No longer panicky
28. No longer grinding my teeth
29. No more standing still, frozen in movement
30. I can think clearer, absorb information better.
31. I am no longer damaging the nerve endings in my brain with repeated high doses of amphetamine!
32. No longer always feel like i must have a pill to keep pushing forward in life
33. I am no longer frustrated about my addicted existence
34. I no longer feel hopeless without amphetamines
35. My schedule is no longer controlled by my adderall supply
36. I no longer have a fake sense of happiness.
(MY LIST LITERALLY GOES ON 100 more..lol)
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Thanks occasional01!!! EAT JUNK FOOD, LAY ON THE COUCH, AND WATCH FAMILY GUY!!! GOT IT! lol, I will continue to do as I am doing. You made me feel not so lazy, in a weird way, lol. I got rid of the script, its gone, and my last half pill is put in a safe my boyfriend has the keys, I wont take it again! YAY DAY 7!
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Also, InRecovery, I didn't even tell u congrats! ur story made me smile
Its nice to read a positive story without Adderall, Ill have to read about more on here. Im just too stuck in the horror stories of actually going through quitting right now. Im surprised you remember how detailed quitting was for u, I quit once a year ago (only for a few months) but I cant remember anything besides sleeping, then back to the addiction. I hope its not like that this time! But most people say 6 days sober, don't take the half of addy, keep up the good work! But I feel like u where I can take 3 all at once and feel nothing. I flushed my new script, all but one half for an emergency (idk why that makes sense?!) but for me it did, and 15mg, is the littlest aka no effect to me at all, that its almost like I just want to take it as a goodbye, I am not getting anymore, just one last small dosage feeling, maybe a little bit of coping with the situation, idk, im sure everything im saying feels completely dumb right now (probly rambling cuz its my first week without addy and im starting to get adhd symptoms backs again, lol. But what im trying to say, will a 15 mg goodbye mess up the chemicals in my brain again? get me craving it more? or is it possible (like u mentioned) it didn't matter to u, it was ur last script, either way its over... -
Thanks InRecovery, u are actually inspiring to me, not only by what u said to me, but I read ur info on ur member profile, I guess everyone on here has a lot of similiarities, but its nice to actually read about them. Kind of just like how u said the book On Speed helped you, (which btw I read too when I've been down! lol) but it really does help to hear others going/went through the same thing, especially in real life. That's why I'm loving this website more and more. People are there for every stage ur in; its comforting. And I will definitely be looking into Effexor, you've got my interest there. Also any other bonus advice, or supplements you would recommend specifically? Ive read the quitting directions, Ive read the supplements forums, I think Ive read about everything on this site, but I cant seem to find an exact perfect answer (which I am sure there is none, but still....) any direct advice would be great. Although I know everyone is different.
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Thanks! Ashley6 u made my night
I almost took a half, I cant even sleep for the first time in forever...!!!! But now that I have the bottle its all I can think about, like hmm..what could I get done with the rest of tonight with just a half of one? But the better half of me put it down and actually came on here instead! its great now that ive actually joined and it feels great to see notifications (now that im learning how to work the site better) makes me feel comforted for once -
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Hang in there.
I have never heard addiction being called as 'having a high tolerance'...but yes I had a severely high tolerance to adderall. Popping three a day for me was practically equivalent to not taking anything because my tolerance was so high.
I think the consensus on here is cold turkey is the way to go. A lot of people have said antidepressants like Wellbutrin have helped deal with the forthcoming depression. I myself started up on Effexor which I found helpful.
What you will really need the most of is a strong internal committment to staying clean during the difficult road ahead. Or you will not make it.
period.
I have been clean for a while now, did quite a number on myself during my use, would say at this stage i am still in a process of severing the association my brain still has with it...doing things outside my comfort zone still triggers adderall discomfort but to a lesser degree each time I do things outside my comfort zone...in my early recovery, Adderall took away my confidence to do anything without it...I attributed all my success to it and nothing to myself. When I quit adderall, all that was left of me was a person with no confidence in himself. But with tons of willingness to rebuild. I felt very lost but hopeful. I now understand more how The non adderall addicted brain thinks a lot differently from the adderall addicted brain. Like how the drug no longer weighs heavily on your mind and is impacting all your decisions, how you are no longer going through the day artificially sped up...
In the VERY beginning of my quitting I just focused every day on staying clean and relapse prevention because I craved it all the time and felt like I was being tested all the time to go back on it.
So my advice to you is to first sever ties with your prescribing doc. then Cold turkey (or maybe just take 1 a day for a week and then just flush the remainder) and then Focus totally on commitment to relapse prevention.
Thank you InRecovery, couple questions for you....what is Effexor? my dr has me on Prozac right now, idk if its helping at all, I am 6 days clean, I got a refill, do u really think taking one a day and weaning down will work for me? will it be beneficial? I don't know what to do, can u even remember this far back in ur recovery? is week 1 this shitty? does it get shittier?! advice please..?
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Thanks for the responses everyone, especially Ashley6, U guys really motivate me when I am down. So heres a question, probly a dumb one, but I am on day 6 of sobriety. I just got a refill, haven't taken it (really really want too) but has anyone else been successful with the step down method? should I try it? or keep pushing? how should I feel on day 6? cuz it feels like crap
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So, I don't even know where to begin? I need help and know it, but am reluctant to give it up. Does this sound familiar? In fact, I don't want to at all.....but things are only getting worse, and I feel like I am at war with myself....every...fucking..day.
It all started in high school. I tried it. I loved it. The only way to get it was to steal it from a brother of a friend without anyone knowing. This went on for maybe two months and I don't even think I cared when I couldn't get anymore. I guess then I just moved on to something different. I mean high school was just a joke to me, I only cared about getting high, and didn't care where the high came from. Needless to say, my mother caught on and I got a lovely two week vacation in a traumatizing rehab for teens. For some reason, after I got out of there, I had no desire to touch drugs. I was scared to death of even being around drugs or people that did them because I never wanted to go back to such a place. I ended up starting college, working three jobs and staying busy. Everything was fine. I found a great guy, moved out, had a kid and stayed in school. It was when I started nursing school that shit spiraled out of control again.
I met a girl in school that just happened to take adderall xr-25mg. We became best friends really fast and I was constantly staying with her or she was staying over with me, just to study. Things were great at first, we had fun and were doing great in school. Soon though, I may have asked or she may have offered, I began taking one of her pills...'just to stay up and study all night.' Except those nights were always a blast, studying happened, just in between the breakdancing, talking, 30 minute cigarette breaks, doing hair and nails, drinking mountain dew and having the best time ever. I had never felt anything like it. That was the best high ever. I could do anything. Nothing seemed difficult or boring. I was so incredibly focused but partying at the same time. It was incredible. Honestly. I wish I could get that high again, but I can't. And my dilemma now is....that I cant stop chasing it.
Eventually, she began to run out way too fast. So, I thought it was a great idea to go out on my own, find a dumb doctor, and get it myself. I needed it. I couldn't depend on someone to give it to me. So I did. And believe it or not, the dumb doctor did it. All I said was, "Hey, I am in school, I cannot focus, I have too much to do." He said, "Okay, try this." Adderall 10 mg twice daily. What??? It was too easy. But damn, those little blue IR's were the love of my life.
This was four years ago. I have moved, switched doctors and still continue to get adderall. The new doctor did not even request my old medical records from the previous place. The new doctor even said, "Wow, you are on a very low dose, is it working?" Was she serious? Okay then, this was just another chance to get that more intense high I've been chasing. "No doctor, it is not, I think I need something stronger, its just not effective." So, vyvanse it was. I took vyvanse for about four months, up to 40 mg. However, because I'd run out in a week or two early, I would go back in the middle of those months and tell them it wasn't effective--and bam, another prescription for just another few mg higher. But I think since I was chasing that high from so long ago, I had convinced myself that I needed to go back on good ol' adderall. The doctor said okay and there it was again.
I got pregnant again somewhere in between all this madness, and had to stop taking adderall for the first time since I began getting it on my own. It was the worst ten months. As soon as I delivered, I called the doc and there it was....again. I was convinced I was a better parent, better wife, better student (back in school again to get my RN, after getting my LPN), better person in general. Life was still good.
Here is the corker. After receiving my LPN, my husband saw how motivated and driven I was. He wanted that too. He occasionally took a few of my pills and we were the most productive and active people on the planet. A team of superheroes. So, eventually, he went to the same doctor as I did and what do ya know? He got his very own script of Adderall XR 20 mg! Score!! I would take his, he would take mine. We'd have a pretty good supply, but still, we'd run out two weeks before refills!!! The agony. Those two weeks were the worst. Fatigue, irritability, the unrelenting need for 'just one more!'
So this is where we are. We are on this rollercoaster that seemed pretty fun at first, but now I am tired and ready to get off. I will never ever be able to catch that high that started all of this. And honestly, I am tired of failing at it. I have been up too long, for too many nights, having taken too many of them damn pills and suffered the horrific come down off of too much. It is terrible.
And more recently, the guilt. The guilt is probably the worst. I feel like a terrible mother, but am more fearful of the terrible mother I might become without the adderall. Now, I feel as though I am constantly doing things with my kids, they are my world, I love them so much and cant stand the thought of being too tired or worn out to play with them. Then, my husband. I am a terrible wife for getting my husband hooked on drugs! The guilt of this is overwhelming. If something happened to him while taking these....I dont know what I'd do. Then, my job. I cherish nursing. But damn, I am hypocrite. I am taking for granted something that has always been my dream.
I keep justifying this drug. I keep thinking that I am simply better because of it. I do my best when taking it. I do a good job at work and am constantly being complimented for my 'happiness and great attitude' all the time. But I strongly feel that this is just the drug, and the real me would be dragging at work, and probably too tired to smile. I justified adderall by convincing myself that I am just enhancing my quality of life. But it is now that I am realizing how out of control this 'addiction' has become.
Alcohol is beginning to fill the void in between scripts. I am drinking alone, at night, when everyone is asleep. It is a secret, but it has become a problem. I know that if it wasn't a bad thing that I wouldn't try to keep it hidden. I am a mess. I dont even know where to start. I hope someone can read this and know what I mean, and hope I can make them feel a little more less.....alone.
This story sounds identical to my life. although my dosages were higher, I can only tell you it gets worse, went through a breakup, lost more than a year of my daughters life, she is 3 now, but I feel like I cant be a mother without it. I keep justifying the drug as well, in fear I cant live without it. This forum actually helps, its almost like we can still get those "Adderall 30 minute smoke breaks just talking" only now its to people we don't even know, about our addiction. It still helps. Let me know how you are doing as of now, im on the rocks as usual, indecisive on whats best, idk if I can ever be helped like I want. advice from a story just like mine would be great to hear
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I've never tried vyanese but it sounds like you really want to quit. It's tough and I feel for you. The beginning part is always the worst, but you will feel great if you can just stay focused on not taking it for 2 week, then 3 and so on. You have the rest of your life to live - and you know your daughter wants her mommy back.
THANK U! just one post can make someone feel better. Im on day 6, can u tell me what to expect? I just got a refill, haven't opened it yet, I was going to try to wean off, do you think its a bad idea and the spiral will restart?I've never tried vyanese but it sounds like you really want to quit. It's tough and I feel for you. The beginning part is always the worst, but you will feel great if you can just stay focused on not taking it for 2 week, then 3 and so on. You have the rest of your life to live - and you know your daughter wants her mommy back.
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Hello, So after sleeping the past week away, (I was trying to go cold turkey) my refill was today. How does everyone else feel around day 6-7? Should I keep sweating it out? Or use my script for step down method? Please tell me what others have experienced around this time, and what to expect next. I feel like I cant even take a shower without one. Advice please?
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It's crazy though, krax, if you dont take it as prescribed, I don't know if you have been in Ritalin induced psychosis but I spent a lot of my time on these prescription amphetAmines in psychosis and the symptoms are spot on with meth addicts. I get the same specific "common delusions" as meth addicts and everything. I read on some meth boards about them talking about differences between meth and lots of adderall and they were all like the main difference is that on meth you stay up for 5 days straight whereas on adderall you can only stay up for 2 days straight before you pass out. Well. That is true for me, I would always pass out after 2 days awake.( I refuse though to believe I have burned out my dopamine receptors for good!)
It's crazy though, krax, if you dont take it as prescribed, I don't know if you have been in Ritalin induced psychosis but I spent a lot of my time on these prescription amphetAmines in psychosis and the symptoms are spot on with meth addicts. I get the same specific "common delusions" as meth addicts and everything. I read on some meth boards about them talking about differences between meth and lots of adderall and they were all like the main difference is that on meth you stay up for 5 days straight whereas on adderall you can only stay up for 2 days straight before you pass out. Well. That is true for me, I would always pass out after 2 days awake.( I refuse though to believe I have burned out my dopamine receptors for good!)
I don't see how that it has been said that it is physically impossible to stay up on adderall for longer than 2 days....I've stayed up for 7-8 days straight on binges. Has anyone else had this experience as well?
I hate myself
in General Discussion
Posted
This post makes me sad too - I felt EXCELLENT and saw some clarity after my first time really going all out trying to quit. I just don't feel proud of myself anymore and cant even remember my thougfhts on Adderall, or notice them off of them like I could in the beginning.
I just feel blank, no thoughts, like I cant even journal anymore no excitement in that, no excitement about quitting or making this big change like I used to have. just depression and anxiety. NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEEN SO BLANK MINDED. I can stare at walls. I cant tell if my thoughts are slower or just super faster where I cant connect them. I want just a little happiness like a high on liufe to remind me why im quitting. yet the only way I can feel alit le good about life now is when I do some vicodin. I don't even know whats going on in my head anymore or how I should be feeling where im at.
Does anyone think this could be from wellbutrin possibly?
Is it better to be completely off everything while quitting Adderall to feel real feelings vs. starting new drugs such as antidepressants or benzos (even though I know when quitting sometimes benzos are highly needed here and there.
OPINIONS?