Newbie1234

I was in PA school and got my ADHD diagnosis then. My doctor didn’t do much formal testing, but all the symptoms lined up so I went with it and started taking 10mg of adderall. Initially it changed my life I finally could study, get my work done, and focus. 10 years later, I’m battling multiple chronic illnesses & have abused adderall throughout the years. One of my illnesses is called POTS where I have low blood pressure, brain fog, trouble concentrating etc that can mimic ADHD. Even though adderall can be a treatment for POTS, I know I have to quit. I go through my prescription too early, will take it too late in the day and stay up too late that ruins my next day. The justification in my mind of “it’s a treatment for POTS” or “I have an ADHD diagnosis” I know deep down aren’t true. I don’t think I ever had ADHD. The drug does more harm than good for me. The hardest part is my husband is prescribed too and he definitely abuses it sometimes just to catch up on work, or be “productive”. I’m sick of feeling guilty and regretting taking the medication and want to be able to be myself all of the time without needing adderall to help. I’m planning my wedding which is the hardest part to quit since it’s so many tedious tasks and so stressful, but I feel like I need to. I don’t want adderall ruining these big moments. Just figured I’d post for some accountability for myself. Hoping the weight gain and withdrawal won’t ruin my wedding day in a few weeks but I’m ready to be done with it for good. Any advice welcome please. Thank you!