Tarheel82

Thanks for your comments. I can relate to what you're saying in regards to being alone with her. I had a similar incident with one of her friends recently. They showed up drunk to grab some things and the girl (who is also an alcoholic/addict, like most of her new friends) tried provoking me from the second they arrived, so I just decided to leave. It's not easy getting cussed out by a stranger inside your own home but i realize it's a no-win situation. I don't think my wife is the type to lie to the police to send me to jail. But with that said, I can honestly say that I don't know if she would take my side if the friend lied about me and she witnessed it. It's probably a 50/50 chance whether or not she would lie to protect the friend or tell the truth. Which is sad because she's always been an honest person. Additionally, I've suspected them of destroying my property around the house but can't prove it. At this point, I have the neighbors keep watch and they give me a heads up when she's there and who is with her.

Long time lurker, first-time poster. I've read so many marriage posts on this site that sound eerily similar to my own issues. I just thought I'd share them and I hope they help someone. My wife of almost 14 years started taking adderall recreationally over a year ago. Not much, maybe a few pills a month for a boost at work. This past summer, she lied to a doctor to get a script and I noticed a 180-degree change within weeks. She was already drinking at the time and has dealt with depression issues on and off for years. At first I thought it was the drinking by itself causing the change, but after some reflection (and scrolling old text messages), I realized most of our problems originated right after she began regularly taking adderall. Nothing in our 14 years gave me any indication she was capable of this type of behavior. We were best friends, have lots in common and never dealt with any major issues. Our downfall began within weeks of the new script with erratic, tempermental mood swings that left me scratching my head. She suddenly blamed her years of depression on me and claimed she now needed pills/booze just to be around me. She even falsely accused me of cheating multiple times. She is almost 45 y/o and the drinking only became worse on adderall. She started staying out all night with friends, driving drunk and drinking at work. About a month after starting the script, she came to me out of the blue and said I disgust her and she no longer wants to be with me. I asked her to elaborate and she ran out of the house and did not return. When she stopped by for some clothes, we had a nice conversation, agreed to work things out and try counseling. But the next morning she's gone again. She proceeded to ghost me for weeks, treating me like a violent husband that she needs to fear and hide from. She turned her friends and family against me. When I eventually got an explanation, she said she's been unhappy for a long time and its my own fault for not seeing it. Then, here comes the kicker, she claimed that she was actually trying to SAVE our marriage over the final few months but she wasn't able to. When I asked her to explain how anything about her erratic behavior was supposed to be "saving" the marriage, she couldn't give me an answer. She lies, contradicts herself and talks in circles. When I point it out, I'm ignored or told to get over it. She is also smoking again after quitting 8-10 years ago She is currently in the process of moving out. She is so desperate to be rid of me, she wont allow me to help her move to prevent me from learning her new location. She ignores my texts/calls and only moves while she knows i'm at work. She wants absolutely nothing to do with me. On the few occasions I see her, I've mentioned my concerns with the adderall, pointing out undeniable facts on how she's changed, but she gets defensive and it leads to a fight, so I try to pick my battles carefully even though I know her problems could kill her. It's a horrible situation all the way around. There's no other way to describe it.