[A year of sobriety]

Epic post. Very happy for you. It continues to get better (though for me, the "straight line" up didn't start until after year 2). 

Thanks for sharing. 

[Ten Years Free]

QO an all time great QA contributor. Congrats on the decade mark. You the man. 

If you're new...highly recommend looking back at his old posts. 

[Eight Years]

Dear All,

Yesterday, I had 8 years off Adderall (and all other substances).

I'm 32 now. The life G-d has helped me build since getting clean is far beyond my wildest expectations. If you told me this is where I'd be back when I was a graveling, sickly 24 year old, up for weeks at a time, kidneys failing, living for the next ground-up 30xr, I would have laughed at you.

Business owner, married (as of last year), kid on the way, homeowner, respected member of my community, having helped dozens of other young men get back on their feet...instead of being unable to look at my reflection in the mirror, I wake up each day with a positive outlook on what can happen and a knowledge deep in my soul that no matter what transpires, everything's going to be alright.

If you're struggling with the decision about whether or when to quit, know this: if you're on this site, chances are very high that you're addicted to Adderall. Once that fatal neural pathway into is carved, you don't have a choice: quit or die. Use the resources on this site. Interact with others. Do whatever it is you have to do to get and stay clean. Nothing is more important.

If I can be of help to any of you, don't hesitate to hit me up. 

With love and gratitude.

David

 

[What is life]

On 6/23/2020 at 4:13 PM, sweetupbaaby said:

Please someone tell me that they can relate to this feeling of nothingness!!!

I can 100% relate from early on. It gets SO much better.

Every time I have felt hopeless since getting clean, EVERY TIME, a breakthrough was just around the corner. Hang on. 

[2 Years Speed Free]

That's amazing, Drew. SO happy for you. It just gets better and better keep on truckin

[Seven Years]

6 hours ago, quit-once said:

Did you make it back or are you still in the middle east?

Close call man. I had a trip scheduled to come back to the States March 12th. Was only supposed to be for 10 days to attend to some business. Alas...was perfect timing and I'm back in PA indefinitely now...

[Seven Years]

On April 13th, I had 7 years off Adderall (and all other substances). 

Life is incredible. If you get enough time off this stuff, you will be blown away by how much better a person you become. How much more emotionally available you are for those you love. How much MORE effective you are professionally. How much happier you can be. 

Quitting and STAYING quit has to be the #1 priority in your life. I don't post on here much anymore but still come back to read and reply if something jumps out. You need to do EVERYTHING you possibly can to be completely abstinent from amphetamines early on. I don't care what has to suffer over the short term. Long term, it'll pay off BIG TIME. Literally everything else is just conversation. Stop telling your loved ones that this time, "you'll only take it as prescribed. And if I ask for more don't give it to me." Then start shrieking at them when you start to withdrawal. 

Get help. Read the articles on this site. Go to rehab if you have to to get those first 30-90 days clean. Cut off your ties with your supplier...permanently (read; doctors). Stop BS'ing the ones who care about you. 

If you're on this site, it's 90%+ you're addicted to amphetamines, and you will NEVER go back to being able to use them successfully again. Your best friend has turned on you. You've carved the fatal neural pathway. There's no going back. Go ahead and grieve like I did. Sure. But that is a fact and you better deal with it or you'll never get off this train. 

I've seen so many people come and go from this site and IRL and relapse, it breaks my heart. Know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I wrote above it true, and remember it every day, and you have a shot. 

Wishing you all love and the best in hoping you can join me out the other side. The grass truly is greener. But if you looks up my old posts, you'll certainly see I didn't always think so...

Best,

David 

P.S. Guess I forgot to write on my 6th anniversary. Some good stuff in my 5th post below:

 

[Modafinil / provigil]

On 3/3/2020 at 3:54 PM, okie said:

This is old, but just wanted to share that I’ve been on nuvigil for the past month while.l quitting vyvanse cold turkey. Quitting ALOT of vyvanse cold turkey. 
 

it’s been great for me - I don’t have cravings to take more than prescribed like I did with vyvanse, and feel like it has made the past month+ a little less miserable. Initially I was taking 250mg, but that made my anxiety go crazy so I’ve gone down to 125 and am in the perfect range. 
 

Just wanted to share my positive experience. 

Let us know when G-d willing you have a year off both.

[35 days clean-just curious]

MASSIVE upside on all those fronts. No BS.

Took me a while tbh but I'm at a level far beyond where I ever was on Adderall.

Sleep and exercise are critical, even if it's just a long walk every day or two. I work several x better in the first four hours of the day. So also have to calibrate and learn how to work effectively without stimulants.

Keep after it. 

[Drug-Addicted Future MD]

On 10/3/2019 at 8:12 PM, addforone said:

Right now, it feels like I have to choose between being a drug-addicted doctor, or being a sober person whose only recourse is to pursue a different career path.

And see: this is the lie. It's very likely instead of being a drug-addicted doctor, you'll fail miserably and never reach your goals.

It wouldn't be fair to sugar coat it to you. You're a junkie in the grips of addiction. All this talk about a difficult break up and demands of school...you have to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. It's going to get worse, never better. Don't believe me? Read the relapse posts on this forum. 

If AA worked for you at one point but you feel like you can't be open about your struggles, find a new sponsor. I get along just fine in there. I don't make it a blanket recommendation on here to do 12 step: many people on these forums get and stay clean off Adderall without it. But many people also blame it for their inability to stay clean which is a joke. The vast majority of people on here I've come across who criticize 12 step end up having problems with other substances down the road, or end up relapsing on Adderall. The ones who don't need it and life is going well don't feel the need to criticize it.   

Getting and staying off Adderall has to be priority #1. Hit me up in PM's if you want to talk more.

Good luck. 

[Fed up spouse]

On 9/16/2019 at 1:31 AM, Had enough said:

Well folks, it’s almost 3 years later. Here is the update: I threatened to leave my husband and he managed to quit for over two years. We have been in a very good place off adderall. He realized after some time that he doesn’t really need adderall to work, even wrote a book.

I wish this was a happy ever after story, but he has relapsed over the last few months. A few pills every few weeks or months. We have not returned to the previous lows but they feel inevitable. 

In retrospect, I wish he had take more responsibility for some of the damage he created on adderall, then I think it would have been harder to go back to it. And maybe if I had left him then...maybe he would be better off. 

Sorry to hear that. You may get a lot out of going to an Al-Anon meeting. Just go and share where you're at and I'm sure people with similar experience will come up to you and offer their suggestions.

Good luck. 

[After 3 years away from this site...]

MFA and LT! Ha wow. Just checked into this site for the first time in a WHILE and saw you two getting after it.

A-mazing!

Live in the Middle East now and am pretty busy. Hope everyone's doing great. I'm like...a full fledged adult and have been clean longer than I used Adderall.

Whoa. 

[Update from a long timer]

You can kick it. Lot of crossover between alcoholism and Adderall addiction, although not all Adderallics are alcoholics (though far more of them than realize it, in my experience).

AA's worked for me. Clean from all of it 6.5 years. Life has never been better. Not even close. 

Hit me up if you want to talk. Or just show up at a meeting and honestly share about where you're at.

Nothing worse than being in that state of "can't live with it, can't live without it."

Hugs and (no) drugs. 

[A Call For Help: I'm Crippled by this Addiction]

On 4/22/2019 at 4:01 PM, William said:

At some point you’ll have to decide that quitting is your highest priority, if you expect to ever be free of it.

And, because you had the courage to come on here and share your story, you deserve for people to be honest with you: This will always get worse, and never better, the longer it goes on.

Good luck. 

[Supplements that ease irritability in early AWS ?]

This comes up a lot on these forums...so a search would probably yield some results.

The bottom line from my perspective? It's gonna suck. And you can either spend hundreds/thousands of dollars on things that don't really work but give you the illusion of control, or you can save the money and just embrace it. 

Do it right, and this can be the last time you have to go through Adderall withdrawal. Exercise, eat right, give yourself a serious break early on. And if you still feel horrible after a few months, consider seeking some professional guidance. 

Good luck and stay close!!

[New day, same results.]

Rewind the clock to when you were approaching two years, Frank. My advice is basically the same based on my own experience:

You're on the verge of a major breakout. You've felt hopeless before. That was a delusion. Know that intellectually and try to feel it emotionally. This too shall pass. And if your experience is anything like mine, after year 3 you're going to be on a whole new level. 

Good luck. I'm around and at the same # if you want to talk. 

[Couch to 5k]

For serious! Had been lifting heavy for about 18 months before I started running, but zero cardio. I started at the beginning with Couch to 5k. That was hard stuff.

I also have had terrible problems with shin splints. That's basically why I gave up the first time when I tried it in May. Got them on and off when training for the 10k as well. 

I bought compression socks. Not sure if they help or not. Think the issue for me is actually calf flexibility. So stretching and building up very, very slowly how much you're running is probably the prescription.

I also had a prescription for Diclofanec...basically suped up Advil, that I used occasionally when I could feel them coming. 

If you figure it out, let me know!

[Shifting Teeth?!]

On 12/4/2018 at 3:36 PM, AbsentMinded said:

Anyone else experience this?

Exact same thing happened to me. 

[Couch to 5k]

Finished the 10K in 1:03:19. Not bad for a guy who couldn't jog more than a few minutes six months ago. 

Aaaaaaand just signed up for a half marathon in April. Time to re-listen to Goggins...

Life off Adderall just keeps getting better and better. 

[Couch to 5k]

"Frank" that's crazy. I literally just finished the audiobook this morning. 

I'm all jacked up as well. 

[Couch to 5k]

Absolutely, SA. After a false start due to injury, I actually did the full Couch to 5K starting in July. Done 3 5K's now, and am doing my first 10K New Year's Day.

Dropped down to 180 the last six months. Running and keto. Great stuff.

Yea still putting in 50 hr weeks. I find I'm not very productive if I work much more. 

But first thing's truly first: getting and staying off Adderall one day at a time. I honestly don't regret the weight gain in my first year. Was my way of getting some comfort...my absolute 100% priority was getting clean. All the rest of the "Self-actualization" has come in due time. 

[OKcupid, Tinder, Relapsing & Adderall?]

On 12/2/2018 at 3:37 AM, Dazzy5467 said:

Adderall gives one the creativity, confidence, and the mindset to have the confidence too message girls who normally are out of my league? Its just absolutely crazy:

This really helped snap things into focus for me...

[Relapse]

Sorry to hear, Sean. Thanks for sharing. 

I went through a brutal internal struggle 18-24 months in, and I know I'm not the only one. Tremendous growth was just around the corner.

Get back on the horse. One day at a time. 

[My Story So Far, 191 Days Clean]

Awesome to hear, Frank. And well done, Drew and Sean. Great to see!

[Stages of adderall recovery]

- At one year I thought I was a little shaky, but on the right path. I took solace in the fact that people on here said that it got even better in the second year. 

- At two years, I was on my feet and doing well, but still pretty volatile emotionally. Occasionally, I'd flirt with the idea that I could go back on it. That idea had to be SMASHED.

- I spent my third anniversary in London after hiking the West Highland Way. Towards the end of my using, I couldn't bend an appendage without joint pain and muscle soreness.

- At four years, I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, even in my worst moments, that I can't use Adderall "as prescribed" for any real length of time. I'm on the right path. I've recovered from the hopeless state of mind and body it put me in. My intellectual faculties are at all time highs. I've got 30 pounds to lose, but have been lifting regularly for some time and am making sustainable progress on that front. I enjoy helping others recover, on here and IRL. I pray and meditate. Daily. I have a sense of purpose. I've rekindled relationships with friends and family. I trust that if I stay off Adderall and keep giving it my best, or at least a decent shot, one day at a time, things will work out. They have so far.