2Cool4School
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Adderall should be banned by the FDA. I haven't had anything but bad side effects from this drug. It is just a legal way for pharma to make money getting people addicted to amphetamines. I think they are no better than the street corner pusher. It is WAY to easy to get this drug and physicians should be held accountable for pushing this drug.
Here's my story in a nutshell:
Over 10 years ago I let myself get hooked on phentermine from a "diet doctor".
Developed high blood pressure and depression - two more meds for pharma to make money on top of the diet pills. Now have to take drugs to sleep because of Adderrall.
Started taking Adderall when diet doctor went out of business.
Longest time off was 7 Days for New Years resolution. Many shorter attempts, latest one was 5 days recently. Always felt good after the the 3 day sleep period, like myself again.
Side effects: irritable, nonsocial, no real feelings, bad breath, bad teeth (very expensive side effect!), bad skin, hair falling out, eyesight worsened, paranoia, insomnia, bruising, joint pain causing arthritis sympyoms, brittle nails and VERY EXHAUSTED), thyroid function out of whack, don't enjoy exercise, caused severe allergies and asthma . I am mainly on the fast track to old age and I am in my early 50s.
Good side effcts: false energy to clean, do projects which need concentration. THAT IS IT!
I return to this forum at least once a week for encouragement. Thank you all for your stories and inspiration
Today is another day 1, I'll keep trying to quit until it sticks. Wish me luck.
Good luck lady, I hope you do it!
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Hi Ashley! (((((Hugs))))))) I know this is difficult. I remember when my friend broke down my addiction for me over a phone convesation. She had been clean for a year and went through pill addiction as well. At first I didn't really believe her until she shared her experience. She went on to explain she was constantly chasing a high. She took a pill and as soon as it wore off she'd base her whole day around the next pill. She'd dump her pills out and constantly recount them to make sure she had enough and know when she was going to run out. She'd do crazy things like drive all across town, hours at times to get to a pharmacy, or doctor in order to get another script. She went on and on and the longer she talked the more reality set in that my problem was no longer just a little joke. I had a serious addiction and it was by far the most important thing in my life. NOBODY got in the way of me and my pills.
If you think it is not that serious, just give yourself a few more years of it. Addiction never gets better in my experience. You could tell yourself it's not that bad and try to kick the habit on your own. I tried to do that several times. Adderall always found me again. It wasn't until I wound up in the emergency room for the 2nd time due to an adderall overdose that I finally accepted treatment as I knew it was awfully strange to be carted away in an ambulance not once but twice for the same type of incident.
The first incident I was able to refer to as a freak accident. The docs messed up my pills. It wasn't my fault, etc. The second time I didn't have any excuses. I finally had to accept responsibility and admit my addiction for once and for all. I did not have the money. I was still paying for the last hospital bills, but I went anyway. They even sent me to a psychiatric unit because they didn't know if i was crazy or overdosed. From there they sent me to detox. I stayed there for a week. I then did outpatient for a couple months.
I can promise you today that it was worth it. I've been fighting alcoholism and drugs for 20 years. I have a bachelors degree. I am successful. Because I never hit rock bottom I wavered in and out of sobriety. Treatment is what finally got me sober. I couldn't skirt around the issue anymore to my friends or family. Everyone knew I was in rehab and how could I get away with drinking/adderall again? It was totally worth the money. I have 16 months of sobriety today. I am free from drugs and alcohol and my life is really good. The question to ask yourself, how much is your life worth? Do you want to still be fighting this battle a couple years from now? How bad do you want help? It's a lot easier to do it surrounded by a supportive environment that it is on your own. At least to get you the initial recovery that you need.
It seemed so silly to me at first, but looking back I am so thankful I did it. It sure as hell made me happy when I finally was free. Free enough to know I don't ever want to go back to rehab ever again and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn't happen...and that is why I'm here on this website today. To reach out to people needing help for something I've overcome. I cannot believe I'm on the other end of this thing today, but just imagine you can be too! Imagine how awesome it will feel a year from now when you can come back here and help others!
I will pray for you that the right answers will come to you. This is a big decision you have to make and only you know if you're ready for it or not. You don't have to make any decisions right away, but if you are worried and scared to death to lose your best friend adderall like I was, then you have already crossed a bridge to your recovery. You have admitted you have a problem. This is the first stage of your recovery.
I remember crying uncontrollable upon coming to grips with my addiction. It was the most terrifying feeling I'd ever known. To feel so completely and utterly dependent upon a substance that was a stupid f-king orange pill...the fact I'd given up my life for it and yet to be so frightened for my life without it all at the same time....it is the worst feeling on earth. I never ever in a million years thought I could do it. I thought I'd take it till I'd die. Life without it seemed unbearable. IN reality that was my addiction talking. My addiction lies to me. It wants me dead. It wants me to be miserable. It is trying to kill me.
CHOOSE LIFE today Ashley! You are so worth it my friend.
There is a beautiful life waiting for you on the other side of this.This is one of my favorite quotes and I'll leave it at this:
E.M. Forster
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
You can do this girl! I have faith in you! Godspeed
Erin
Erin, So touching, I can't keep from crying
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Hey....I've spent hours on this site for many months now. I'm so grateful for quittingadderal, because just hearing from all of you who truly understand gives me so much solace. I'm 27 and was prescribed adderall 5 years ago. I was on 30mg IR 2xday for about 4 years, then I had to switch doctors due to lack of insurance. My new doctor prescribed me 30 mg a day for a year and a half or so. I had a boyfriend of four years, was a student at a state university, and was basically a social butterfly. Things started to go downhill my last year of college (which I'm 3 courses away from finishing almost 3 years later). I really didn't see me as having an issue at that time. I look back now and realize how irrational and just spaced out I was. I pretty much neglected my relationship, because I already had the "friend" I wanted most, and my relationship ended. The fact that I had invested so much time in energy into school and my relationship and just threw it away is something I am only coming to terms with now....that's when I started taking waaaay more than prescribed. It's so accessible to me, so I've steadily increased my intake.
I finally realized that the people and things around me weren't the problem, it was me....me on adderall. I became aware of this when my roommates, who have been immensely supportive, sat me down and told me I had a problem. They've seen me for short periods without my pills, so they know the "real" me. I started making some efforts to change after that, then I just kind of slipped back into denial mode with a life filled with adderall. The problem is denial or avoidance is much easier than facing the uphill battle that lies ahead....until reality hits. Three weeks ago or so ago, everything hit me like a ton of bricks. I suddenly started grieving what I've lost and what I will continue to lose if I don't give up the pills. I decided to make an appointment with my drug counselor immediately (whom I met with a year ago) and told her I think I needed to go to treatment. She said she was proud of me and proceeded to call the inpatient rehab in my area. I was at rehab getting an evaluation an hour later, and they suggested 5-8 days inpatient followed up by 3 weeks or so of outpatient treatment. I'm also prescribed klonopin .5mgx2/day. I never thought of klonopin as my issue, because I've taken it as prescribed for 5 years, but they said the inpatient is for the benzo withdrawal; otherwise, inpatient probably wouldn't be necessary. Treatment is $550 per day, because my insurance doesn't cover substance abuse treatment.
I'm to the point now where I want this to be over with so badly and get the real me back, but I can't afford treatment on my own. I told my family about a year ago that I had an issue with adderall. They're aware of it, but over time I slowly just kind of distanced myself, so I wouldn't have to discuss it with them. I have a wonderful mother who loves me dearly but worries herself sick about me. My dad is very wealthy and could afford to pay for my treatment, but I'm SO terrified to ask. He loves me but has always been a "Disneyland dad," and I have a serious issue with wanting his approval so badly. My best option is to ask him to support me, but I'm so afraid of failing and letting my family down. It sounds so irrational and overdramatic as I type this. I'm at a crossroads now. I KNOW I can't continue using, but I don't feel strong enough to do it on my own.
I want to have peace and happiness for the many blessings in my life. I want my sense of humor back. I want to FEEL again without relying on a pill to dictate my life. I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions as to where to go from here. I would flush the pills down the toilet and move on with my life, if I wasn't so terrified. It's like losing a best friend.......a best friend who I've let wreck my life and let take way too much from me.
oh hunny, i've flushed my pills once! i understand just how you feel too. But after I flashed them, in a few months I was on them again. It is scary and I am so lost. I don't know which way to turn. Rehab is not an option for me right now,but i wish i wish I had that luxyry
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HI all --
I'm 5 months off of Adderall, thank goodness, but I'm facing a dilemma I'm wondering if anyone has experience with. I still have a prescription for Wellbutrin, and I know some people have used it when phasing off of Adderall. My worry is that it's too similar to Adderall -- being something of a stimulant, too -- and that it'll set me right back to square one if I go on it. I've been struggling with a bout of depression lately which I think might be largely physical, exhaustion from being overstimulated for so long, and I don't want to let it go on and on if I don't have to, but I'm scared to have to reset the withdrawal clock.
Any experience with this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
M
Hey,
I took Wellbutrine before, it is really nothing like Adderall. It is so milde and never stimulated me much. But I was also on a cocktail of meds at the time:: Lexapro, wellbutrine, xanex, ambien, Adderall,and some other antidepressant/antipsychotic i forgot the name,but i dropped it fast..
Basically,I asked my doc for wellbutrine hopeing it would work as a stimulant and I could stay awake in times when I ran out of my prescription of adderall sooner than I should have, but it didn't really work like that. Lexapro and wellbutrine both helped with my depression, but you know what? i stopped taking them after a year or so because I felt like a total vegetable emotionally.
So with and SSRI drug (wellbutrine), my advice, is Do not even start takin it! It's really hard to quit and I had terrible headaches when I was weaning off of those drugs, I mean unless you really really need it for depression don't get on those meds. I hate all these pscyh meds now.
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Hey! I feel you on that. Honestly, I stopped going out a long time ago, at first it was so fun to sociolize while on Adderall, but the I got too paranoid to even really be with people, they made me nervous. So I stayed home,and cleaned or whatever...
But once I quite addies for a while, I was normal again,yet the desire to go out didn't really return, I am always tired, so I just stay home and I picked up a habbit of drinking beer alone, at home. So sad.
Good luck with your dilemma though, I hope you get thru it. I think maybe it just takes a long time, for the desire to go out and do stuff to return.
xoxo
Anna
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[/f;'ont]Hey there!
I'm Anna from Brooklyn, NY (also Russia). Late 20's. And I want to share with you guys my story, which is sure to be very similar to other stories on here.
Let me just start by saying that I am on Adderall prescribed by my doctor for the last two years,or so.. I loved it at first and then it turned on me blah blah you know the deal. Got very thin very fast (loved it!) felt like I was on top of the world and had it in control. Yet I ruined my three year relationship with a bf, who was an ok guy, jumped into a marriage with another guy, whome I loved but who was totally a bad bad choice,and he is in court mandated rehab right now, just 7 months into our marriage. And I am all alone, well with my pit bull Eli Manning.
But let me back up a little bit, to let you know why I fell in love with speed. At 21 I was a dancer in a club and did lots of coke in the bathroom, naturally. However,THAT got boring quick, well in around four to six months of binging on that and standing on balconies/rooftops, contemplating my next move, I still haven;t jumped yet. So one night, this girl "Dirty Diana" tells me (in the club bathroom) if I wanted to try something new, (*meth) fondly known as tina where im from. Anyhowoo One bump i fell in love.
After that needless to say I was hooked, crystal addict, active on and off, I stumbled half drunk thru my twenties, managing to lose more than I gained.
Eventually, I quit,kind of. And developed an aqute anxiety and a little depression, Ithought atthe time. I guess it's impossible to live thru crazy addiction and come out of it normal, in the head. I also got addicted to pain killers after platic surgery at 22... Now I am on two mg of suboxone.. to keep living.
Anyways, I went to this swanky manhattan shrink, complaining of anxiety and paranoia and he interupts me and says you have ADD. I go' no I don't
Adderall = he says, I go OK/
So the rest is history.
I \already got off (in december)) lexapro 20 MG and wellbutrine, but I am still strugling with Adderall.
Like we all know it numbs our feelings, so when Iam with my husband itis a bad idea for me to be all tweaked out and distant, but now that he is gone, I started popping pills again, since March 1st, because Iam so lonely! it's crazy.
I want to stop and I know I can, but I want support and some people that won't judge me and who UNDERSTAND what it's like.
So here Iam
Hope we can be friends lol
Anna
Oh This is Super Weird...LOL
in Tell your story
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me too!omg im terrified of weight gain and falling asleep at work/on the train ride.
I quit for like two months and it was great feeling like myself again and my husband loved it, but I got so fat and sloppy. I started back on addreall....same thing what you said is what im feeling