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Hey there!
I'm Anna from Brooklyn, NY (also Russia). Late 20's. And I want to share with you guys my story, which is sure to be very similar to other stories on here.
Let me just start by saying that I am on Adderall prescribed by my doctor for the last two years,or so.. I loved it at first and then it turned on me blah blah you know the deal. Got very thin very fast (loved it!) felt like I was on top of the world and had it in control. Yet I ruined my three year relationship with a bf, who was an ok guy, jumped into a marriage with another guy, whome I loved but who was totally a bad bad choice,and he is in court mandated rehab right now, just 7 months into our marriage. And I am all alone, well with my pit bull Eli Manning.
But let me back up a little bit, to let you know why I fell in love with speed. At 21 I was a dancer in a club and did lots of coke in the bathroom, naturally. However,THAT got boring quick, well in around four to six months of binging on that and standing on balconies/rooftops, contemplating my next move, I still haven;t jumped yet. So one night, this girl "Dirty Diana" tells me (in the club bathroom) if I wanted to try something new, (*meth) fondly known as tina where im from. Anyhowoo One bump i fell in love.
After that needless to say I was hooked, crystal addict, active on and off, I stumbled half drunk thru my twenties, managing to lose more than I gained.
Eventually, I quit,kind of. And developed an aqute anxiety and a little depression, Ithought atthe time. I guess it's impossible to live thru crazy addiction and come out of it normal, in the head. I also got addicted to pain killers after platic surgery at 22... Now I am on two mg of suboxone.. to keep living.
Anyways, I went to this swanky manhattan shrink, complaining of anxiety and paranoia and he interupts me and says you have ADD. I go' no I don't
Adderall = he says, I go OK/
So the rest is history.
I \already got off (in december)) lexapro 20 MG and wellbutrine, but I am still strugling with Adderall.
Like we all know it numbs our feelings, so when Iam with my husband itis a bad idea for me to be all tweaked out and distant, but now that he is gone, I started popping pills again, since March 1st, because Iam so lonely! it's crazy.
I want to stop and I know I can, but I want support and some people that won't judge me and who UNDERSTAND what it's like.
So here Iam
Hope we can be friends lol
Anna