llwilson

21 days and counting

Thanks for the response krax! I was on Wellbutrin 100 mg sr in the morning and just switched to Effexor a week ago. I'm wandering if the Effexor has caused the dramatic decrease in energy. I switched mainly because it is supposed to help with social anxiety. I'm going to give it a little while longer but i guess I may have to go back on the Wellbutrin to make it through this

Day 20 for me! Never thought I would see the day lol. Is anyone else having a problem with extremely low energy and motivation? I feel like I have hit rock bottom in my energy level, not really sure what to do about it. Fw- congrats on day 27!! You're doing awesome! Lunax- can't believe you're already at 39! You da bomb! Keep it up guys!

I'm glad I got rid of mine as well, no more temptation. Although the thought of going back to the dr and getting some more has crossed my mind a few times, I know this would be a bad move. Glad I have you guys as my support system. And I know my sober sister has got my back! Lol

FW- I understand the feeling! It's been so much easier for me to laugh off my adderall! Although I feel like my energy is down some days I do find myself laughing more. I'm slowly starting to see my old self come back. Congrats on day 25!! And thanks to lunax is now have the forum as an app on my homepage which reminds me to check it daily now keep going strong! Lunax- as always, so very proud of you!! Today's 38 for you, right? Kick ass girl! Thanks again for everyone's support! Today Is day 18 for me! Taking it one day at a time!

Hey sassygurl, have you decided to quit taking adderall? It's a big decision, and one only you can make. I understand, I was on it for 9 years, with my doses gradually increased. After years of denial I finally got sick of the way it was making me feel, the anxiety it was causing and my social life took a toll. Of course I am going to encourage you to read up on the many reasons to stay off of adderall, but know we are all here for you regardless of your decision to quit or not. Best of luck!

I'm on day 17! Despite some troubles at work and some really bad cravings for adderall I have remained adderall-free! Freedom wings- you're not alone! Keep your head up and stay strong! Lunax- congrats on day 36! I know you can do this!

Hey guys! Great job everybody!! Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, I worked 5 shifts in a row and am on another set of 5 in a row so I haven't had much time to do anything other than work and sleep. I will try to get better about updating my status everyday I am on DAY 12...have never been this long without Adderall. I have to say it feels good, I feel like it is easier for me to laugh and talk to people. It has been a little difficult at work, but I feel this will get better with time, and it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Thank you for all of your inspiration and motivation! Thursday was my first doctor's appointment I have ever left without an Adderall prescription. Although it is hard some days, I am SO happy I have made this step. And so glad I have you guys to do it with!!

Keep it up Jonah! You are doing awesome. I am on day 1. I had terrible motivation even on Adderall (I was prescribed 5 10-mg pills a day but would take way more than that some days), so I am worried my motivation will get even worse...hoping with time it improves. I'm also eating everything I can get my hands on, and it's not healthy stuff. I've never been a huge "healthy eater" so I'm hoping I can kick that and start to eat healthy and get on an exercise plan (which I also do not do at this point in time). Keep us updated with your progress!

Way to go Lunax!! So glad you flushed those pills! Haha or I should say we flushed them together! Today has been okay for me, but it is only my first day. Hopefully your day got better, but as 1bad88 said...Kicking and screaming is totally acceptable at this point! You go girl!!

Thanks guys! Today was my first day Adderall-free! Wasn't too bad of a day, hoping this week goes good at work! I'll keep you updated! Thank you for all the support!

Well today was my Day 1 I destroyed the rest of my pills last night, so I am joining the challenge! Look out...here I come!

Wow, thank you guys for caring enough to respond to my posts. That means so much to me! Jon, this quote really stood out to me: "Adderall was like novacaine for my emotions. It took me years to figure this out because I always felt more alive and more feeling on Adderall in the begining. It's been said many times before that all that Adderall gives you in the beginning, it takes back secretly over time. No exceptions on the taking back stuff either. The most obvious is taking back the energy you borrowed from Adderall...with interest." That really sums it up perfectly. Adderall was great for awhile, but eventually you end up in a worse place than you were to begin with. I have saved 3 pills to take tomorrow and 2 to take Wed, just to "prove to myself" that I can take them like I'm supposed to. I had an off day today and took more than expected, so I did flush all of my pills but the last 5. That symbolizes me being in control and being able to control how much I take tomorrow and the next day and "tapering off" if that's what you'd like to call it. I have many emotions inside me as I destroyed those pills today, nervousness and excitement being among those. I am nervous as to how I will feel the next few weeks, but I am excited to discover the real me. Thank you all for your support as I start my road to recovery!!

Thank you all for your responses! You guys are awesome! I want today to be the day that I destroy the rest of my pills. There's just that slight hesitation in me that wants today to be "the last day" with them and get my house cleaned up! Lol. I've read several responses that say to wait until you have a break from work, but I have 5 days in a row of 10 and 12-hour shifts in the ER starting tues, 3 days off after that, and then 6 in a row before i get a 5 day break from work! So I guess there's no better day to quit than today. Every time I think about doing it I get really nervous and start thinking what if I need them in those long days of work. But then I also know I want to get off these pills and be able to do this on my own, be able to socialize again, be able to have some life back in my eyes and get my old personality back. I feel like adderall has dulled me so much. Does anybody else feel this way? There's so many conflicting feelings. I am so thankful to be a part of this forum where I can relate to people about these issues!

Not great, I haven't gotten rid of them yet and am ashamed to say I am still using them the same way. I talked to my psychiatrist yesterday about quitting them and he does not think I should quit them cold turkey, he wants me to go down to 3 a day and wean off of them. But the hard thing for me is it's all or nothing. My "3" today has turned into 7. And I get so down on myself when it happens. I feel so weak, like I will never be able to do it. Everybody I've mentioned it to thinks I'm crazy for making such a "rash" decision, and "where did this come from all of a sudden??". But nobody understands if you haven't been in my position. I feel like I'm losing motivation to quit and I don't want that to happen. Now people have made me feel crazy for wanting to quit cold turkey. I think it would be better just to quit them and be done with it, but other people say to wean off them. Any suggestions? I feel so lost

Yea you may be right 1Bad88, I didn't really think about it like that b/c she's been on them longer than I have. But seeing the damage it's done to me it may be best if I destroy them now...

Thank you all for responding! I went 2 days with no adderall and was a little upset with myself today, I took 3 over the course of the day at work (I am prescribed to take 5 a day). This all goes back to the OCD thing...I have had OCD counting issues since I was younger so I know I have OCD off Adderall as well. My thing is, if I have a bad day at work (which I did yesterday), or I have a bad day, I think I have to take extra Adderall the next day to reverse what happened that day and make it better. I know that doesn't make sense, it's really hard for me to describe. So I'm fighting a viscous cycle...taking too much Adderall because of OCD...and having increased OCD because of the Adderall. I also had a bad day today, it just wasn't my day at work. So my thought is...take more tomorrow and I will have a better day. I like the number 7 so that is the number I usually take to reverse a bad day. I feel that if I don't reverse the "bad day" I will never have another good day. Does that make sense? Regardless, I am trying to fight taking any tomorrow at work. I know it is just OCD telling me I need to. And it also helps me concentrate, but in the long run I know it's making me way more anxious, less personable, less friendly (I noticed I was very depressed today and unfriendly/short to my patients and sometimes my coworkers). I fear that when I quit for good I am going to be so out of energy and so depressed, it just scares me. But when I read your posts, it gives me hope that I will heal in the future. Thank you for all your comments! And please keep them coming! I don't want to give in to the temptation to take my Adderall tomorrow! P.s. - the reason I still have my Adderall in the first place and haven't destroyed it is that I have a friend that takes it as well and I told her I would give her the rest of mine instead of wasting it. She does not abuse it. I would love to just stick it in the mail to her to get it out of the house, but that is highly illegal. So I'm trying to wait until I see her again. But I think it's tempting me even more with it being in the house with me.

I have been on Adderall for 9 years, varying strengths, for inattentive ADD. I used to be so happy and laugh all the time, but the past couple of years I have noticed my personality seem to dull out. I find it very hard for me to make friends now because I am always so anxious. I have taken my meds as prescribed up until the past year. I also have OCD and am currently seeing an OCD specialist. I have started taking more medication than prescribed at times, some of this I believe is my OCD kicking in and my need to "count things". I have wanted to get off Adderall for awhile now, but am afraid I will not be able to function. I feel like I can't concentrate on or off Adderall now, I am a scatterbrain, but after doing much thinking I believe the Adderall could be making my OCD worse and maybe that's been my problem all along, maybe I'm not ADD. I have read several posts that make me hopeful I will be able to focus and concentrate after some time of being off Adderall, and that things will get better if I quit taking it, both socially and mentally. I feel like I don't want to talk when I take it, I'm always nervous and social situations (both on and off it), and I have a hard time expressing myself. It makes me not want to hang out with people, so I feel like I've turned into a loser loner. I have made the decision in the past week to stop my Adderall. I have taken varying doses over the years, but I find that I do best on 10 mg pills several times a day, rather than a 20mg or 30mg in the morning. I am prescribed 10 mg 5 times a day. i have felt like this is necessary for me because I work long hours as a nurse in a very busy ER. But I want to stop, I want to do this on my own and regain my life and my social abilities, I feel like this forum may help me do that. I need some motivation and some success stories Please comment, any advice is much appreciated!!