Hello everyone, I know its a long post bu please bear wit me!
I was diagnosed with ADD March 2013 at the age of 27 but I saw symptomatic ever since I can remember (always the worst kid in class, interrupting, losing things, impulsive, blurring things out, disrespectful angry , easily frustrated)
Anyway, Ive been taking Straterra since I was giadnosed and at the beginning it was great (probably because it also worked as an antidepressant )but we kept increasing the dose and it made me really nauseous despite taking it with food before stopping working all together.
My doctor started me on Adderall a little over a week ago. He basically told me to take one 20mg IR tab in the morning and "if you have a long day" to take another one at noon. If it doesnt work to take 2 tabs but no more than 3 (?) So basically do whatever you want . I took the 20mg and it made me feel great, euphoria and all, a little bit how i used to feel when I did coke (8 years ago) or ecstasy. That automatically was a red flag for me but I thought hey at least Im getting stuff done and work isnt such a drag! Now a week later Im worried that I will get addicted and need more and more, I quit drugs 8 years ago and Im not planning on getting addicted to something new but at the same time I am more productive and focused but it somehow feels "wrong".
I am a psychiatric nurse and I tell my patients to take their meds to improve their quality of life and on one hand I think the same might be true for me and Adderall, I am improving my quality of life, but on the other hand I know the price I might pay for it might be too high.
Also as a psychiatric nurse I often feel guilty for administering all those meds to my patients because I know deep inside I dont agree with a lot of them and believe therapy, meditation, strong will and prayer could work wonders as well.. but I digress
I understand the concept that Adderall turns us into people that we normaly would not be but doesnt the SSRI do the same for people with depression? without them they would just stay in bed and do nothing (just and example)
I am not advocating for Adderall, just trying to put my thoughts out there in hopes that someone can help me. Ive only been taking it for a week and I notice how much my thoughts gravitate towards it, is it time for next dose? should i be taking more? less? etc etc and I dont like it.
I guess Im kind of answering my own question since I see how it already affected my thought process.
Any input would be greatly appreciated!
