Meth was the best drug I ever did, next to ecstacy. Thank God I could not find meth in my area or I don't even want to think about what would have happened. Was that your DOC (drug of choice)?
My use is not anywhere near what it was before I went to rehab - in fact right now I am tapering my dose and almost down to one 20 mg pill per day. What bothers me the most is how devastated my boyfriend was when he discovered I had been lying to him for months on end...he left, again, and I decided to go to rehab. As I said in my first post, this was my 16th fucking time in rehab. I thought that after everything I went through leading up to rehab, plus being there once again and really wanting (at the time) to stay off of it. But I didn't.
I have quit everything else so I know I can quit this shit, but everytime I have been completely clean from everything, I have wanted that "majic pill". Adderall is the majic pill. I took it as prescribed for almost 2 years and then out of the blue I realized how many were gone from my script in a very short period of time.
Do you attend NA or AA? I have been in and out of AA for 15 years...I choose AA over NA because of long term sobriety. NA tends to be much younger kids (I'm 40) who are really not serious about getting clean. At least around Philly - that is my experience.. The reason I ask is because anyone in AA will tell you that if you put any substance in your body you begin the phenomenon of craving. I can buy that to a certain extent, but if I were to tell anyone in AA that I started taking this again, they would immediately tell me that it will only get worse, not better. Well, I have proven that it is getting better, not worse. I do not agree with some of
opinions of some of my fellow AA people
Being homeless is quite an eye opener as it seems you are familiar with. I was homeless when I lived in Florida and addicted to crack. It sucked and I never want to go through that again. How did you land the great job?
I am not even going to get into my job...I am trying VERY hard to find another job because my boss is insane. She is verbally abusive, belittling and disrespectful. Far from the company I like to keep and also somewhat of an excuse to keep taking this shit.
Yes, one of my boyfriend's requirements in his girlfriend is for me to be completely clean. I respect that.
I just have to fucking do it.
Your thoughts on my current dosage?