CryptoTonic

Hello all, As the topic suggests, I'm new to this forum, so let me give you a little background information. I am a 23-year-old male, and I have been taking adderall for most of the last 12 years. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 11. I don't remember what dosage I started with. It was 2 pills a day - one in the morning, one in the afternoon. I think from 7th or 8th grade onward I switched to adderall XR 15 mg and I have been taking that daily every since. I haven't really "tried" quitting but it has definitely been crossing my mind more frequently as of late. I have experimented with not taking it and was scared away by feelings of lethargy and apathy that come with the crash. These are the reasons why I'm considering quitting: Social situations: I'm no psychologist, but I can't help but think adderall prevents me from being able to relax and be "loose" in social situations unless I've had a few drinks. I also at times find it terribly difficult and frightening to talk to women. I don't know if that's the adderall or if that's just me. I feel like there are things I want to say, people I want to get to know, but the adderall makes me rationalize those decisions until I decide to not go through with them. Impatience: When I'm on adderall, I sometimes tend to get short with people, especially when they're not understanding an idea I'm trying to convey. My energy level is a roller coaster: I'm lethargic in the morning until the adderall kicks in, and by 3 or 4 PM my focus is at it's low point. I tend to come home from work and take a nap, being unbearably tired. I'd imagine the fact that I'm coupling adderall with coffee each day might attribute to this. So, my questions: I have been off the stuff before and hated the feeling. Am I damned to a life of apathy and lethargy if I quit? I have hobbies and interests, but when I'm off adderall, nothing is interesting. How long does it take for someone like me, someone who used for 12 years, to feel "normal" again? WOULD I ever feel normal again? Have I done permanent damage to my brain by being on the drug? I have never abused. Thanks in advance for your replies.