MadHatter

Day 1 Tough getting out of bed this morning but I think regulating my sleep to 8-9 hours the past couple of weeks in addition to weaning has helped cushion the crash significantly. I've also been eating alot healthier. I took 500mg of tyrosine along with b-complex on an empty stomach this morning. So far, the fatigue isn't nearly as bad as I remember but I'll know for sure over the coming days/weeks if any of this has really helped with the withdrawal symptoms. I plan to come back and give updates as frequently as possible. Stay tuned...

Day 1 Its been 24 hrs since my last pill and I honestly do not remember the last time I went a day without taking it. Adderall has taken 2,920 days from me but I'm going to try my damndest to not let it take another,

Congrats on your first bootcamp! I'm more of a solo exerciser myself but did a "Body pump" class once and almost died lol. I appreciate the encouragement. You guys' words give me strength and I look forward to posting in the 30 day challenge starting Friday.

Thank you so much for the support. Honestly I am really scared right now. Adderall has been such a big part of my life for the past 8 years that I have almost forgotten how to function without it but I know it has to go. As I was typing my story, I felt like it was just yesterday that I started this addiction and was nearly in tears when I realized that it has taken 8 years from me in the blink of an eye. It has cut a path of destruction through my personal relationships beyond repair. So many good friends, romantic relationships, and loved ones now gone from my life because I just wanted to be left alone to get high and work on some mundane and meaningless task that meant absolutely nothing. The price I have paid for that stupid pill is almost more than I can bear. I'm so ashamed....

My story is probably very familiar to alot of others on this site but I think it has some unique aspects. I'll start at the beginning.... I was a freshman in college and struggling with some very important (to me) aspects of my life.I have always been a big guy but managed to keep my weight in check through sports, mainly football, which at my high school meant a year round sport with weight training and cardio. At college, I trained super hard in an attempt to try out for my college football team. Of course, I didn't make the team. I had no shame in that because this was a Division I program that also went undefeated that year so there was alot of competitive talent. I figured "oh well, at least I'm still at the school I want to be at" and I have always prided myself on my academics. Except, suddenly I was struggling beyond belief. I had always excelled in high school but my public school education was a joke and required little effort to do well. This resulted in very poor study habits and the next thing I know i'm struggling in all subjects including my "Music Appreciation" class that was suppose to be a GPA booster. In addition, my diet became terrible and I ballooned 30+ lbs. Needless to say, my romantic life at this point was non-existent. So there I am, a 6'3 275lb pile of worthless failure. Then something happened....after a very painful rejection from a girl that I really cared about, I decided it was time to take back control. Time to stop blaming everyone and everything else for my problems. Nobody made me eat like crap, nobody stopped me from exercising, nobody kept me from studying, and no one took my self confidence. Suddenly, I had this incredible drive to improve myself. (Keep in mind this is before I even heard of Adderall). I was determined that I was going to mold myself into the person I wanted to be with nothing more than the sheer force of an iron will. For months, I dedicated myself to working out, eating right, and studying my ass off. I also found my one true love...running. My life did a 180 degree turn. Not only did my grades improve, but I dropped 80lbs. I was now a 6'3 193lb pile of success. My confidence was back, my romantic life was flourishing, and there was no stopping me. (or so i thought) Midway through my sophomore year, I found that I was still struggling to pay attention in class, and could barely hold my eyes open for 8am lectures. Classes were getting harder and I felt like I was having to study double outside of class to make up for the stuff I was missing in class. (Enter the friend who is prescribed adderall and wants to help me with studying for an exam) The rest is history. Fell in love, acquired my own prescription, and the tolerance began to build. Once used strictly for classes during the week, became an everyday thing, then an all day everyday habit for 8 long years. I was up to 105mg/day consistently for 4-5 years Here's the weird thing, I lost my motivation to exercise and eat right. Then over the course of a few years, my weight ballooned back to my original weight then kept going to an insane 315lbs. This happened while I was still taking adderall all day every day. This absolutely crushed me. I felt like I became merely a shell of my former self. (a rather large shell at that). I have decided that this is not where my story is going to end. For the past month, I have been trying to get back into running. I've lost 15lbs so far and eating healthier than I have in my life. I owe alot of my inspiration to my girlfriend of 2 years. I love her dearly and I plan to propose in the coming months but I want to be completely clean from this pill before I do it. I told her about my problem a couple weeks ago. She knew i was prescribed it but I always downplayed it as a minor thing. I came clean to her about abusing it and having to buy extra when my prescriptions would run out. I came to this site and read "the challenge" and it has truly inspired me to change my life and get rid of this crap once and for all. I want my new life with her to be pure from the start. I want the old me back, with all of the natural drive I once had. So, this is where I am at. I currently have a workout routine 5 days a week and my diet is excellent. I also have a full-time job M-F. Over the past week and a half I have lowered my dosage from 105mg/day to 45mg/day and now down to 30mg per day. My plan is to go completely off by Friday so that I have a 3 day weekend to crash and hopefully be able to drag myself out of bed Tuesday morning for work. I have been through withdrawals cold-turkey before between refills so I do have some idea of what I'm in for. I haven't tried any supplements before so I bought some l-tyrosine and b complex to try and help during the early withdrawal period. I'm so desperate to be free of this stuff and praying for the strength. I appreciate any advice or encouraging words that anyone has to offer. Thanks for reading my story.