Length of Adderall Usage: 8yrs Amount: 10-20mg / day Reason for Quitting: I would rather be alive Male or Female: male Age: mid 20's
I have been off of adderall for about 14 months now. in one part of my mind, it feels like its been years and years since i've been on it. and in another part, it feels like its been 1 month. everyday is different, but theres always a lingering feeling of inadequecy that I feel. It's been so long without it, yet I still have not come to peace with the fact that I cannot be as efficient a human being as i was on adderall. a lot of my pain comes from my inability to accept my existence. there are times when i physically cannot cope with my body being an entity in a world that i so wrongly fit into, and i just dont want to BE anymore.
There is always an immense feeling of loneliness in my life. being off adderall has isolated me from so many things that existed in my previous identity. I dont insert myself into social situations. i have no motivation to do anything for anyone but myself. i dont have any sort of routine upkeeping my life's important matters. I also have a family history of bipolar disorder and an insatiable craving for LSD. neither of these things probably help, but they are part of me. i dont have many positive expectations in putting all this info out here and getting help that works. but I have a very open mind and my emotions are swung very easily, so GO FOR IT!!
