Angie

Hi, My name is Angie, and I'm the girlfriend of a guy who's addicted to Adderall. We have been together 4 years. He is 36 yrs old and was diagnosed w/ADD 2+ years ago. He has been on Adderall for over a year. He also takes Xanax (anxiety) and Prozac (depression). I never wanted him to take Adderall in the first place because I read and heard about the horror stories. I didn't want him taking that type of drug. Since he's been on it, he continues to be disorganized, interrupts me, changes topics, forgets things all the time, procrastinates (drove for 4 months without getting new license plate, is chronically late paying bills and gets overdue notices), gets bored easy, yawns during conversations, doesn't clean or pick up anything (his place is a DISASTER), he is socially disconnected, needs a lot of novelty or stimulation to be interested in something... You know, the typial ADD symptoms that Adderall is supposed to reduce, right? But I haven't noticed anything different, other than he is less irritable and has a better attention span at times. If anything, he has withdrawn emotionally from me. I feel like I have to constantly compete for his time, energy, and attention with his ADD. And his ADD wins every time. He acts very self-absorbed. Everything revolves around how he feels and his illness. His sleep is terrible, he has no normal sleep schedule. He stays up all night, sleeps the day away. He's either a zombie and his mind is in an alternate dimension or he's hyper-focused and it's overkill. He's interested in doing something only when it's something that HE wants to do. I have asked him to try something else, like Intuniv, or another medication, but he says Adderall helps him, that he "needs" it, he can't function without it... He says it gives him a "kick" that makes him feel motivated to get things done. Without it, he says, he is lazy and won't be produtive, can't focus or feel happy about anything. When he doesn't take it, he has bad depression where he isolates himself and withdraws further, and hypersomnia where he sleeps for days all day long and still says he's tired. So then he gets right back on the Adderall. He has tried Straterra and Vyvanse, and he either had bad side effects or said they didn't work. I hate this illness but most of all I hate the drug(s). He says Adderall gave him his life back, but why don't I see any difference? Why do I feel like it's made things worse? From my perspective, it seems like Adderall has stolen his life. He acts like a drug addict now, saying he needs additional prescriptions so that he can have Adderall stashes for bad days. If he runs out of Adderall (which has happened on several occasions) he gets really mad and freaks out. He gets all worked up when the pharmacist won't give him a refill. He went to his psychiatrist today to ask for Adderall because he was on Vyvanse but wants back on Adderall. They told him he has been changing meds and dosages too much, so they want him to wait a couple of weeks and give the Vyvanse a chance. He got all upset and depressed and now he says he is going to take a week off of work so he can sleep and "be unconscious." His behavior bothers and worries me a lot. It isn't normal. I have suspected he might have a Mood disorder, like Bipolar, for some time. I am just not sure if that is what is going or not. Are these typical experiences or symptoms/behaviors of someone on and off Adderall? Or could there be something the doctors are missing? I just feel so alone. He is so focused on himself, it's like all my wants and needs get overlooked and dismissed. He gets upset when I bring all of this up, saying I make him feel bad about things he can't control. I do everything I can to help him and make his world better, but it just doesn't seem to make any difference. I hate to think what that drug is doing to his brain, what the amphetamine is doing to his system. I worry about him all the time. I don't know what else I can do. I need some advice, so please, any suggestions would be helpful and greatly appreciated