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Using adderall to lose weight...


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... I thought it would be an easy way, too. And yep, I got down to my dream weight in record time! I'm 5'9 and a was a size 0.

Thing is, I didn't really stop to consider the other side effects adderall would have. I just thought I'd look perfect and everything else would fall in to place... money, power, popularity, zest for life, etc etc. How wrong I was... alongside the skinny jeans came all these sides. And no I'm not exaggerating, I wish I was.

  1. Loss of skin elasticity, wrinkles
  2. Loss of color in skin/pallid complexion
  3. Hair loss, loss of condition and shine
  4. Thin, weak nails
  5. Watery or dry eyes
  6. Dark under-eye circles
  7. Runny nose
  8. "Rudolph" red nose from facial flushing
  9. Cotton mouth, dry mouth
  10. Chronic teeth problems caused from constant dry mouth (e.g. cracked teeth, stained teeth, sensitive teeth)
  11. Grinding jaw, this can cause permanent damage
  12. Constant headaches
  13. Bone pain, lower back pain
  14. Lack of co-ordination; spilling things, tripping over or bumping in to things
  15. Need other drugs to come down (Xanax, Ambien)
  16. Extreme irritability, sometimes leading to violence
  17. Irrational thinking, insistence on being right regardless of the topic
  18. Lack of ability to prioritize
  19. Feeling "slighted" by people
  20. ZERO sense of humor
  21. Cannot see the big picture in anything, lose interest in seeing it at all
  22. Confusion over simple mental tasks
  23. Wasting time
  24. Wasting time
  25. Wasting time
  26. Paranoia
  27. Lack of empathy
  28. Isolation, desire to be alone
  29. Hate talking on the phone
  30. Weakness, shortness of breath
  31. Risk of seizure
  32. Raised blood pressure
  33. Risk of heart attack
  34. No desire to exercise or eat healthy food
  35. Extreme dehydration, stomach problems, GERD
  36. Increased desire for tobacco & alcohol
  37. High risk behavior (other drugs, risky sex, gambling, shoplifting)
  38. Delusional thinking, sometimes lying to self as well as others
  39. Inability to listen for long periods of time
  40. Loss of short & medium term memory
  41. Loss of balance, vertigo
  42. Speech issues: stuttering, inability to “find the right word”, or “clamming up”
  43. Hoarseness/loss of voice
  44. Not following through on promises
  45. Lack of personal organization
  46. Ringing in ears
  47. Depression
  48. Suicidal ideation
  49. Cutting
  50. And, wouldn't you know it, after about 2 years, the weight stabilizes anyway. So... weight gain.

There's a photo of me and my family on the wall in the hallway, taken in 2009. Every time I walk past it I wish I'd never ever picked up the stuff. Adderall stole my beauty, inside and out.

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I remembered another thing! I used to seem to hold on to things for no reason. Not metaphorically but actually I would find that I'd walked 3 blocks with a piece of trash in my hand because I'd either forgotten it was there, or my muscles got stuck in that position of holding the thing and kind of didn't want to let go, or something. Did this happen to anyone? I wonder why...

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I remembered another thing! I used to seem to hold on to things for no reason. Not metaphorically but actually I would find that I'd walked 3 blocks with a piece of trash in my hand because I'd either forgotten it was there, or my muscles got stuck in that position of holding the thing and kind of didn't want to let go, or something. Did this happen to anyone? I wonder why...

absolutely, I forgot about that one. Sometimes I would be walking and just freeze and stop moving, lost in thoughts unable to snap out of it and move. I would be still for a very long time, just thinking manically to myself. sigh. remembering the not so good old days.
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Another thing that Adderall caused in me is something called perseverating "the inability to switch ideas..including repetition of words or thoughts" I would repeat the same thought or word in my head over and over for a long time, unable to tune anything else in...kind of like in a trance. I don't perseverate anymore. When I learned that word I was like that is me on adderall!

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Oh and then there is that tension in your shoulders that you always get when you take adderall and try to concentrate on work (use the keyboard, look down to study or read something). Sometimes I still get that as kind of a muscle memory thing.... weird...

I didn't used to bite my cheek but the difficulty swallowing thing brings back that horrible memory for me of the night it all came to a screeching, cataclysmic end. I was at a work dinner, lots of "important" (hmph) people around, and the set menu was steak. I tried to force myself to eat it, but I chewed, and chewed, and chewed and just couldn't swallow it! Everyone was watching. I ended up eating only the mashed potato and ice-cream; people were talking about it, I knew it.

But you reminded me of yet another thing... mouth ulcers! One time I took a bunch of adderall so I could work overnight on a 16 hour flight home. Planes are already dehydrating, and of course I was working so hard I didn't have enough to drink (except a couple of glasses of wine of course). By the time I landed I could hardly speak because my mouth was so full of ulcers. Yeah, that was fun...

And finally, I found this!

I've been searching around looking for an explanation of the memory loss thing, this is the best I've seen (unless someone can point me to something more in-depth).

Hurray for neuroplasticity!

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I remember we had another thread running on neuroplasticity. I can't find it. There have been so many threads since. But I remember I recommended a couple great books I read on the topic that were really helpful.

The brain that changes itself (I was actually given this book by 2 different people after I quit)

And

Change your brain, change your life

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Wow I relate to so much of that especially the zero sense of humor, I was always the happy go lucky person. Then I started noticing friends who I talked to alot would say what happend to your sense of humor "it was a joke".

The paranoia: anytime someone texted me "hey what you been up to" My answer would always be like "omg what did you hear" or "why are you asking that"

And the hair loss is what finally made me realize I have to quit as a girl losing my hair like a chemo patient was a smack in the face to say enough is enough

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