Learning to trust yourself (and anyone else) again

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

I am having a tough time today and need some encouragement. I had an interview which I thought went really well (and adderall free! despite some serious cravings)... whatever the outcome it is good to know I did it all myself therefore I can take all the credit or blame, depending.

I'm just having a really hard time reading between the lines of what people tell me. Towards the latter part of my adderall addiction I would automatically assume that there was always some evil subtext to what people told me (it was the paranoia I know) but honestly, sometimes I was right. Sometimes people didn't want me to succeed. Sometimes people smile to your face and then cut you off at the knees.

The thing is, now I'm off it, I don't know when or how to trust my own interpretation of situations. For example, my interview today, I thought, went well. I was "myself" (I think), I got a good sense of what is needed for the role and I know I could do the job. Thing is at the end, the hiring manager said, "well I'm sure you want to think about it and so do we, so thanks for coming in and have a great holiday". Nothing negative, but definitely nothing positive like "we'll be in touch" or what the next steps would be Now I'm racking my brain about what I could have said that could have turned him off... why he would be so opaque... what it all means. I am sure I must have screwed up somewhere.

I just don't know when in this whole bloody process of quitting you start to get your ego back again (in the classical, Freudian sense). I want to believe in myself, dammit!

[Greg]

I for one and proud you are doing this without adderall. Keep up the great work!!

[sky]

well, for one, don't take it personally... you never know what they're looking for, who they think the ideal candidate is, etc... the interviewer might have his own prejudices that have nothing to do with you, he might be having a bad day, he might be constipated, he might be on adderall.... who knows!! I know I preach to the choir, but we can't second guess people! It just doesn't work and no matter what, we're 99% of the time wrong! Maybe he is having an affair, maybe he was attracted to you, maybe he was so excited about you that he had to consciously tone it back a little so you wouldn't get a big head, maybe he was intimidated by you, maybe you had spinach in your teeth... WHO KNOWS!!?? All we can do is prey for what we want, hope for it, be prepared to deal with the outcome, realize that not everything is within our power, realize that we can do our best but sometimes that's not sufficient because of a myriad of reasons out of our control, and realize that sometimes it's THEM and not us........... you did your best, maybe this gig ain't the best for you....???? who knows! but if it turns out that you don't get the job, don't beat yourself up.... it probably wasn't you, it was probably him.... he's probably having an affair with his neighbor.

[Cassie]

Ha ha sky, that was hilarious. I am still struggling with some of that social anxiety/self-consciousness post adderall and it's been a year for me. I think it was around 9 months when I started feeling like my intuition was returning. It's one of those things that comes in waves, like your energy level. I'm sure you rocked the interview, you're just paranoid because you feel off.

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Sky: your post made me smile, I had to read it twice. Sometimes you really nail it... I remember you gave similar advice when I was on this forum complaining about my dad, which was -- stop thinking about things you have no control over and be at peace with the way you handled things in your own heart.

Cassie: you mean i have another 6 months of this crap?! Well I'm glad I gave up when I did then, otherwise I'd be looking at even more time off from my smarts and good judgment.

InRecovery: Thanks. It means a lot coming from you.

All: I'll let you know what happens, and either way, I can chalk it up to good interviewing practice I guess. I have to stop flagellating myself.

[FALCON]

#5 Motivation_Follows_Action

Hey baby now it’s time for me to make you feel better you need to know something the human resources department or the interviewer is probably bin at it all day and maybe all week for this one opening in there company your interviewer is as burnt out just it’s the same old thing for the interviewer. Going into your interviews you need to keep this in the back of your mind the interviewer is going thru the motions that’s all so don’t bring yourself down by thinking you blown it because you did not you did the best you can and that’s all that is expected of you you’re not supper women .Let me tell you something getting a good job now days it’s not your ablates or skills its luck and being at the right place at the right time it’s a numbers game the more you get out there the better your chances are obtaining a job and I also believe in destiny I believe our life’s are planed out for us by some higher power. So if its meant to be your destiny to get this job it will happen for you. You will find your job naturally when you’re not expecting it. Jest be natural and yourself with no paranoia you read me baby.

Your friend FALCON

[quit-once]

Hi Movitation...

If you thought you did good through the entire interview, then you did good. The results might still surprise you. If your intuition was right, however, then for whatever reason he did not think you were a good match with his company and that is OK too.

Sky, that post was FUNNY! You certainly postulated many of those "whatever reasons" with a really funny twist. thanks for the laugh.