All 3 of you are right. I don't feel that my Dr would dismiss it if I was honest to his face. I spun quit the tale at my last appt and I'm sure he's on to me- hence why he wants me back in 2 months instead of 3 and tried pushing Straterra or prescribing 40mg of Addy instead of 60mg a day- I wasn't having that. I'm the obstacle. I'm the one dragging my ass and not following through. I was reading through my journals yesterday & stumbled upon 2 months in 2012 that I'd quit. It was like someone else had written it. I was fine, happy even. No depression or jonesing or tiredness mentioned at all. I didn't even mention that freaking pill until I casually relapsed. This whole situation makes me super frustrated with myself and living in near constant shame. Eventually the pain of using will be worse than the discomfort of quitting and I'll commit.
Btw, I am reading the book @perullo recommended, "Shut up, stop whining & get a life". Lol! It's a ball buster and I'm loving it. Thanks for your input as always.