KimR

The #1 worst thing about Adderall

14 posts in this topic

... and go! 

Remember. Only one. The worst at the the top of the list. 

Mine would be what it does to your health. I have heart palpitations, high blood pressure, headaches, upset stomach, and aches and pains all over. I don't want to die young. I can't do that to my family.

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1) Losing your soul, emotionless 

2) health, everything you named above and some 

3) change of personality, identity crises who am I? 

4) lack of drive or passion for things

5) anxiety, depression 

sorry I had to do a top 5.. there's just too many to only name one 

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I think the worst was the false sense of security or esteem in myself in regard to my habits like I was able to convince myself that 'tomorrow I'll only use my prescribed dosage' but then that day never came and deep down I think I knew it but the addy wouldn't let myself accept it 

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It stole my soul. It ripped away my personality. It made my already existing depression a million times worse, and I worry I'll never quite be the same again.

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As a spouse, the number one thing was the absolute lack of remorse.  It wasn't so much the constant rage, arguments, mood swings, blame, etc etc  but that he was never ever remorseful, cared about my feelings (lack of empathy)  nor accepted the blame for any of his behavior (taking responsibility).

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One of many things I hate about it is not being able to explain your behavior to people who don't know you're on it.  If I take it and act like a complete lunatic or say things that I never normally would, I just have to let people think I'm a tad crazy.  Abusing it for years also wreaks havoc on your life and I always think about where I would be if I had never taken it.  I definitely took a detour through life and would love to be married with kids and have a fulfilling career but spending ten years addicted to adderall kind of got in the way.  I wish people in my life knew what I was going through so that they could understand why I've been stuck for so long.  

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The feeling of dependency to something externally outside myself.  It left me feeling powerless and paralyzed when I ran out early, but couldn't get any.  I remember the times I would find myself going off on the doctor's admins if they did not call me back in time to pick up my prescription the day I had it planned.  And then there was the feeling of knowing I was 150% hooked and that I'd never be able to quit for good.  I felt doomed.

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8 minutes ago, robthinking said:

Other benefits of this smart-drug?

 

Sex! A lot better, longer lasting, and more frequent sex. The fact that Adderall is so easy to get just adds to its appeal. Often, a little online research is enough for people who want to get the drug to come up with a convincing story: “I have trouble concentrating, I am easily distracted, I was diagnosed as a child but my parents did not think treatment was necessary,” and so on. Then you see a script doctor for about 15 minutes and shortly after you have your prescription. Pretty easy!

 

Dude. Fuck off with the spam. 

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One of my few friends I have left giving me a call yesterday during a binge and me not talking like myself at all, being more negative, etc. 

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The hardest thing for me has been identity crisis- 'who am I without it?' One of mikes posts about each day off adderall being like a funeral and a birthday at the same time sums it up perfectly. Having to let go of things you so highly valued but at the end of the day weren't really you to begin with- it really has been an excruciating process for me...

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In the past- years of failed school. Currently- My complete lack of confidence that I can survive in this world without it. 

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1 minute ago, inneedofhelpBP said:

In the past- years of failed school. Currently- My complete lack of confidence that I can survive in this world without it. 

You are exactly where youre supposed to be. Think of how greatly blessed you are to have the opportunity of LIFE. You dont owe the world anything other than realizing your true potential, whatever that may be. Our society makes us believe that if we arent highly productive citizens then we are of lesser value. YOUR VALUE doesnt depend on what you do, it isnt variable. 

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The number one worst thing about this drug is that it is a BIG, FAT LIAR!!! It never tells the truth. Whether we are using it or not - it is always there telling lies. Recovery is and will be for me - continuing to ignore the lies it whispers in my ear.  Yay and hallelujah to everyone here - thank you for you.

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