featherdusters

Kicked the door

5 posts in this topic

I am around 18 months. The past few days I could feel anger nagging at me. I was feeling uncomfortable and aggravated. Today I was thinking about a friend that I felt treated me unfairly, when all of the sudden I snapped and kicked a door! It's like my brain short circuits and I turn into a rabid dog. I took a bunch of supplements and feel calmer now. I guess I am learning to notice the little warning anger rage feelings days before it gets insane and I should just take something or do something to get out from under it.

 

Does anyone have tips on dealing with flash pan anger?

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I can relate. Right now I was looking for my phone for about 20 min. I was looking everywhere and 15 minutes in just fucking yelled at the top of my lungs and punched the wall because I was so frustrated... then started crying. Turns out the phone was in my car. Now I'm in an ashamed/embarrassed/pissed mood. 

This too shall pass for us

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Punched my door other day was my entry door dented the metal and knocked out three screws from the hinges. Luckily my hand was just fine. I hit a heavy bag often to take out anger but this was spure of the moment.  I hate doing stupid things like that was very lucky not to harm my wrist knuckles etc. Ive always had immature anger issues so dumb I should grow up by now. But will say off addy happens less frequently on it was non stop. Just need to keep working on myself meditation etc. 

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I noticed I've been getting angry lately too. At 16 months, I keep telling myself that I am all better but apparently not. I get pissed at people when I'm driving way more then I used to before Adderall. I am angry at my living situation and I know it has to do with getting close to the two year mark. The way I deal with the anger when I'm in my car is I will curse out whoever pissed me off (inside the car so they can't hear) and then I usually laugh at myself after for how angry I was. 

The only thing that helps me get my mind off of my frustration is going running. Other than that, I think you just have to vent the anger by cursing to yourself or maybe even punching something as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Sometimes you gotta release some anger, it's natural. The good news is I think then anger thing only happens when you're well over a year in recovery which is really good news for us!

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Resentment is a bitch. I used to be the same way, and can still get that way if I'm not careful. 

Don't have to be working a 12-step program to appreciate this quote. I've found it's more and more true the longer I'm clean. 

acceptance.png

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