JustinW

Hang it there, it gets much better!

8 posts in this topic

Okay, I haven't been around for a while but I do check in from time to time.  It's been a busy time over the past year with two cross country moves but I'm back in Texas again.

For those that are just starting your journey, there is hope!

I quit in February of 2013 so I'm a little over 5 years.  I still struggle from time to time but there are healthy ways to cope.  I recently traded the Vitamin Water Zero for a vegan protein shake first thing in the morning which has helped my energy and focus plus there is no crash in the afternoon.  Try to eat as healthy as possible.  What you put into your body makes a huge difference in your energy and focus levels.

My brain has healed very well.  A year ago I felt like completing my 4 year degree was well out of reach but I graduated this February and just started my MBA this month.

There is life after Adderall; a full, rich, and wonderful life.  This forum saved my life and I am grateful for everyone here regardless of the progress on your journey.

There is light at the end of the tunnel just keep hanging on!

-J

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When you say you struggle what is it you struggle with most? Do you feel back to normal? 

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13 hours ago, SamJo said:

When you say you struggle what is it you struggle with most? Do you feel back to normal? 

I struggle with forgetfulness,  focus, procrastination, and motivation.  So...a place for everything and everything in its place is what I strive for (about 50% successful).  The other three are a mental struggle.  Once I start something I realize that I have made it out to be some big bad obstacle but it isn't so bad.  Checklists have helped a ton and any gamification of tasks helps too.

Do I feel normal?  I'm not sure I ever was normal so I can't answer that.  Most of the time I am peaceful, happy, and fulfilled.  That's pretty good in my book.

Getting out of the dark pit of adderall was not easy but worth it.  I'm still on the journey and will always be.

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How long did you abuse Adderall for? How’s your confidence? And how are you depression and anxiety level at?

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Great info! I also was curious about depression  also and your reward system? I am just over a year and feel everything you feel however also have depression that comes and goes and I just rarely get excited or feel happy about anything even in moment that I know I should. 

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Anxiety bares it's head when I have too many emails to handle or too many things that need to get done.  I also get anxious when grocery shopping because it's visual over-stimulation.

Depression was bad through the first year.  Now I feel down at times but usually not more than a day.

I find it hard to get real excited about things still.  I thought I would be pumped when I graduated with my b.s. but I only felt relief.  I think it would have been better if someone was excited with me but my closest relations were merely happy.

My wife gives another perspective and that is that we tend to get less excited about things the older we get.  So maybe that's part of it too.

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It's posts like this one that give me goose bumps.  I am happy to hear you have 5 years.  That is awesome!!  One thing I gotta mention for the newbies or anyone still struggling on and off.  One of the best ways I came to look at my clean time I got from Smart Recovery is that they don't believe you're back to ground zero if you relapse or lapse.  Instead, we look at all the previous time you had sober as building blocks and none of that time is really ever lost.  Addiction is such a non-linear process for so many people and sometimes it takes some of us a lot of trial and error with our use just to be sure it's no longer an option, not gonna work, and/or give up the battle for good.  Maybe some are just more stubborn than others, but I do know that if you hit 5 years, your chance of relapse is like 14% going forward and that is something to get excited about. :)

It makes me feel happy to see you are such a pillar of hope now for the newbies.  We never know how many lives we impact by sharing our story on this site, but I know it makes me proud and everyone else to that has been around since your first came on board.  It sure does help to have support and know we're not alone and also if we slip, we still have friends here that can help us get back up.

 

Thank you for sharing this with us!! Congratulations!!

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